This fic is rated PG.
Disclaimer: Matt Groening owns the Simpsons.
In Dr. Hibbert's office, Homer was seated across from the doctor, who was examining the results of his cholesterol test. "Homer, your cholesterol level is 255," Hibbert informed the overweight man.
"Is that bad?" asked Homer.
"For a hippopotamus, no," replied Hibbert with a chuckle. "Well, maybe borderline. I'd like to ask you a few questions about your lifestyle. Do you eat many fatty foods?"
"Yes," answered Homer, "but I work it off by chasing the boy."
Hibbert shook his head. "Homer, I'm afraid chasing your son around the house isn't enough exercise to make up for your kind of diet."
"Okay," suggested Homer, "I'll start chasing Lisa too. She never does anything wrong. I'll think of an excuse."
"You've greatly increased your r...
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