Review: "Mirror, Mirror Marge"

[Gulliver63]

I've had this project sitting on my flashdrive for a good four months, almost completely finished. It again visits a topic that I've visited time and again, of an alternate "Parabox" universe. I took that same idea from Futurama and wanted to see how it would work in a Simpsons story. Again, not terribly original, but hopefully worth a few good chuckles. This is another project that grew directly out of some art that I did last fall, and was part of that extreme writing jag that I went through last year. It stays with the Futurama idea that the colors of the clothing can be different in another universe, and that people's lives can take different paths. I even took a minute to slip an homage from Futurama into the story. Thanks has to go out to Robert Stewart for his help on one of the scenes, and a nod to Graham for the idea of a mirror image on the type (from "A Different View"). Enjoy!

[c_nordlander]

Typoes and grammar issues: "And then there was his newest device, that" should be "which" (I think!); Clancy's last name is "Wiggum" with no S; "wiss-ant" might be a typo (unless it's some insult I'm not familiar with); "just get Bart and I" should be "me" (people do make grammatical mistakes in dialogue, but Lisa probably wouldn't).

Also, I hate to nitpick on this, but "whoever they may be" is correct. ("Whoever" is the subject, "whomever" is the object.) I'm sure you could come up some other grammar gaffe for Homer to nitpick.

You've got some good jokes here. My favourite is probably "I don't deserve visitors", or Moe's "euphemism" line at the end (it made me laugh out loud), but there are several other good ones. The entire ending scene has a lot of good moments. I also like the scene with the bill at the restaurant; it's the kind of problem that would realistically happen if you're in a parallel universe.

Everyone is in character, and Marge 1 gets quite a lot of characterisation. Marge 1 working at the power plant is great. I also like that you make a reference to Moe's crush on Marge.

The writing style isn't brilliant (it's a bit bare-bones at times), but it's not bad either. You have some sentences that resonated with me, such as Frink 1's wistful look around the lab when

Spoiler

stealing the palatanium.

Clancy offering Marge a beer is a quick, subtle way of establishing how different this universe is.

On the downside, as you admitted yourself, the plot has been done before, and there were no real surprises in Universe 1 (the change I liked most was probably Burns being President; it would have been great to have him appear, but I realise there wouldn't be much reason for him to go to Springfield). However, the plot fitted together well and was quite suspenseful.

Finally, I love the cover art.

To sum up, a bit of a generic "mirror universe" story, without anything really interesting in the mirror universe, but with some great jokes and good characterisation.

My score: B

[Gulliver63]

Thanks! You know I struggled with that, having

Spoiler

Burns be a part of the story.

I really loved mentioning

Spoiler

Vin Diesel as President.

It was also fun to mention historical events that someone in our universe wouldn't even know about. The scene with the check was the one that Robert Stewart helped me to straighten out; I had originally had the other Marge get into an argument with a rude waitress - I'm glad I didn't go that route.

I fashioned the description of Frink's old lab after the labs that I patrol in the middle of the night, with their centrifuges and equipment.

The scene with Ned was a very, very last minute addition, and I'm glad I thought of it. Good God, lots of alcohol abuse in Universe 1. I thought about having a drunk, argumentative Ned pester Marge as she walked up to the house, but I think the way I wrote it worked better.

Thanks again...glad you could have fun with it.