Lend me your eyes!

[AssistantCrone]

I had an idea for a pic at last, but I suck at drawing poses and need all the con-crit you have. 

So, Homer. He's looking up at the rare and valuable Doughnut Tree. I've traced his outlines and roughly where his other arm and outfit would be, and I need to know things like: proportions screwy? Centre of gravity off? Shapes wrong? Can I stretch the pose much further? What's with the hands? etc.

I drew this looking at the very useful references over in the Pencil, but I wanted to avoid copying the whole thing. Any guidance much appreciated. 
 

[Archonix]

The problem is the apparent angle of the hand compared to the arm. The pinky makes it look like the hand is pointed away from us, while the thumb makes it look like it's rotated so the palm is more toward us. And the angle of the wrist lines make it look like it's a bit, well, broken...

I'd suggest something like the below. At the angle Homer's hand is at his thumb probably shouldn't even be visible. It's also a good idea to avoid lines trying to demark the wrist like that.

[AssistantCrone]

That hand was driving me nuts. Corrected, and thanks.

[Morpheus306]

My eyes have been lent.  I take it this was a first pass, never settle with your first drawing, always explore.  When you do things like this ask yourself, "it's ok, but what can I do to make it better and more dynamic?  Am I getting the attitude I want across?  Is the character easy to read?"  I took the liberty of going over your drawing on my pen tab and immediatly thought that homer should be seen in a "down shot" or looking down on him as if in the tree itself.  Of course the tree, once added, will be in the foreground.  As you can see, it is very clear in my drawing what homer is looking at.  The red lines indicate that I created invisable arrows with his features as well.  Also, with Simpson eyes if one pupil is touching the edge so must the other.  In my case he's looking straight up and not out of the corner of his eyes.  His face and body language in my drawing also convey his attitude more, bright eyed/gazing look, big smile, hands eager to pounce, etc.  In your pic it doesn't quite look like Homer is approaching a donut tree, it actually almost looks like he's pushing something.  On that note, watch out for balance, meaning your homer looks like he wants to fall forward, where as in mine his foot is clrearly planted in front of him holding his weight.  I technically used a three point perspective system, but keep it simple, you shouldn't go that technical until you know perspective and the character well.  Notice how my ovals work with his form, it's clear we're looking down from a high place.  I think that's it in a nutshell, oh, and I splashed some color to show how you could use shadows and what not to portray a 'gleaming' essence.  Give it another shot and don't give up!

[AssistantCrone]

Thanks Morpheus, that’s just the sort of stuff I need to see. (And thanks for the encouragement  ).

There’s something I should have mentioned at the start: in this pic I’m attempting a rip-off – er, homage to this set of illustrations:

http://www.nocloo.com/gallery2/main.php ... &g2_page=6

Most of them are pretty linear or whatever it’s called, so I don’t think I can change the pose altogether without losing what similarity there is. Your drawing (which would be perfect as the next panel of a storyboard; I might do a second pic) has a ton of good advice in it, though, and I’ve tried to incorporate as much of it as possible in this second draft. That means I’ve most likely made a bunch of new mistakes while trying to correct the old ones, so again, any crit is welcome.

EDIT: About Homer’s expression – I was going for more awe/disbelief than a big smile, but I can’t seem to figure out what the corresponding mouth shape would be.

[Morpheus306]

The new pass looks better, but here are just a few model things.  You never show his teeth unless it's nessesary, and since you want a more "awe" look on his face you don't need them.  Look at the second Homer I did and notice how his mouth is slightly open and doesn't reach the outer mouth.  Also, in terms of mouth, the inside line of the mouth opening should always be behind his neck line.  Even at extreame angles and what not it's always behind.  I did a few Homer faces just so you can see how his head works; like how his hair is, where the ear lines up, etc.  Feel free to use this to your hearts content.

[AssistantCrone]

This is all incredibly helpful. 

I had another go at the face based on the above rules. It looks better to me without the teeth; I suppose I put them in because I felt I should draw teeth at some point. I'm reasonably confident about the pic now, so I'll keep working on the background. Crit welcome as before. 

[Terry Y]

I dunno.  I kinda like it both ways.  But sans teeth does make for a less distracting picture. 

Good stuff!

[gkscotty]

There's definitely a greater sense of wonder in the newest one, which I guess is what you're looking for.

[fellranger]

There's definitely a greater sense of wonder in the newest one

Agreed.  With teeth, it looks more like a classic Homer glazed-eyed drool, without teeth there's more of a sense of awe and exitement.  I guess either could apply!