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Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004 12:40 pm
by Archonix
Now this is what I like to see.

I admit, I haven't completely read each and every poem or lyric, but there are a lot of wonderful pieces of work here. Too much for anyone person to appreciate, in fact, so I'll just appreciate as much as I can and hope I don't get overwhelmed...

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004 8:22 pm
by SirMustapha
"Better Than The Beatles!", by Fernie Canto

I need a riff!
I need a catchy riff!
I think I got it on the back of my head.
I knew it yesterday, but I forgot!
I feel so excited at the song I'm writing!
It's going to be original,
'Cause I feel so original.
Who here feels original?
My song will be original.
But I need a catchy riff!
When I remember it,
My album will be complete!
My album is original.
It just needs a catchy riff.
But it will be a classic!
Everyone will hum it!
The album will sound complete,
And everyone will hear it!
People will talk about it!
George Starostin will review it,
And he'll give it a 13!
Mark Prindle will give it a 9!
And Rolling Stone will give it one star!
It will have a fancy cover,
And an interesting concept!
It will all be so original.
Can you lend me a catchy riff?
Maybe I will steal it
From the band I heard last week.
Nobody knows them, after all,
And it's just a short instrumental.
Very short, and unoriginal.
It just has a catchy riff.
And I will use it in my song.
I'll make a masterpiece out of it,
And it will get an A+ on The Musical Box!
I stole this melody!
I stole this melody!
I stole this melody!
It's a one-note melody!
And everyone uses it,
So I stole this melody!
No one cares for melodies,
So I'll just write a catchy riff!
Today, I feel original!
I'm abusing this running joke!
But before you feel annoyed,
Just teach me a catchy riff.
No one cares for melodies,
And I'm an awful lyricist.
So please, I'm begging you,
Just show me a ca--

[cut off at the end because nobody can stand me anymore, not even myself]

Yep, that's a set of song lyrics. I've got the music more or less in my head now, but I'm still not working on it.
Maybe I should post those short lyrics I wrote for you.
Yes! Do so! Heck, I'm curious already! ;D

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 4:58 pm
by c_nordlander
Wow, great lyrics, Brentyn! I particularly like "Forced Reflection Of A Changed Life". It fills me with something of the same dread as the corresponding part of the story. The ending is lovely as well. I want to read "Child of Darkness" again now... or maybe not. It terrified me enough the first time.

That's a very good piece of lyrics, Fernie, and I still love the title.

OK, I didn't think I'd ever write poetry again, but here's a piece of... let's call it history poetry. I was thinking of the Fall of the Roman Empire, I put myself into the mind of a poet watching the entrance of the Visigoths, and this is what you get. Not that good, but I'm kind of proud.

I meant to write it in hexameters, but elegiac distichs worked better for the subject. (Same metre as my "Honour's Reply" couplet above.) The metre isn't that good, but I'll try to polish it up... someday.

This one's for the classicists.

De destructione Romae. On the Fall of Rome. By Christina Hyperborea Nordlander.

Hooves shod with barbarous iron strike sparks from Via Sacra;
fallen, fallen is Rome, she who was queen of the Earth!
Breathe in me fire, Bellona, now the Muses have fled from the carnage -
Clio faints, Polymnia shrieks, Erato whores in the camps.
Now for the victors to drink and to shake Earth with dancing,
now for the losers to drag and drain deep of defeat.
Fallen, fallen the vicious and fair, as fell Sodom and Salem:
Lord of Thunder nor Lord of the Hosts shelter'd her in her need!
Would no goose on the Capitol wake to honk her a warning
that she might rouse unto arms those that gave her their lives?
Stern Cato, proud Julius, why do you sleep to this hour
that Odovakar may trample your republic and crown?
Wail, maidens hymeneal, wail that Rome, the divine, the eternal
ravished and faint is become the concubine of the Goth!
Was there no soldier to gird on steel without payment in silver?
No patrician to change spilth of wine for enemy blood?
Run, hooded Tiber, to shroud your daughter's face in your bosom:
fallen, fallen is Rome, she who was queen of the Earth!

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 6:08 pm
by SirMustapha
Dammit, Chris, how do you do that? I love that poem! And I'm not even very deep into that kind of history poetry or whatever it is.

Really, that's just plain beautiful, no flattery.

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 7:46 pm
by Horrorhead
Hey, Fun lyrics, Fernie! ;D It's hilarious.
And really good/interesting poem, Chris even if I don't really know that much what it is really about. So well written!

Well, Here are my weird lyrics with a weird title called "Cars in the Sky and Lunch Break for Weirdos".

Cars in the Sky and Lunch Break for Weirdos

So you are looking for some fast cars
And want to throw away your sloppy old car
Turn off your mind and just keep it
Close your eyes and let the machine run
Never mind what’s going on in the traffic
You’re here to let your head reach the rainbow
And get ready to get colored
Your body will be painted in all colors you know
Everybody will notice you
Everybody will love you
They are gonna love you, love you

Buy some wings for your car
And fly high in the sky
You seems to be so bored on the earth
You’ve got to taste the heaven
Touch the sky and drive backwards
Trust yourself and fly higher
You’ll see there are many other cars around

You wonder why they are all so friendly to you
Look out, They are weirdos
But love to meet someone like you
You might don’t know yet
But you’ll also turn into a weirdo soon
It’s alright, It’s alright, You’ll be the same
But be sure that weird imagintions will get through your head

The bells are ringing
Time for the lunch break
It’s finally time to rest
It’s lunch break
Open your lunchbox

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 7:54 pm
by BOsin_In_2
Erp--OO *blink, blink*

I'm not into the whole "history poetry" thing, but...DAMN.

Now I wan'na post something __ __;; *whiney*

Acrostic Poems
by Alanna Augustine *P.S., also read the bold italics*

Departure of the lonely man was
Not the right decision.
From which he was confused—he believed
The life he lived was not his own.
Paths twisted and intervened; nothing made clear.
Which way do I go? What path shall I take? he asked the sky.
Fate responds with a knocking of senses.
Has the answer ever been so far?
You are your own fate—you already have been

Song of oh pure delight,
For those who are foolish do not see
The truth of the fact:
Children will revive our world.

Hope ya'll got that ^_^;;

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 8:31 pm
by DeathBunny
i give it a 7.... but it is good... hers one i made for a funeral

Death is a sad thing. When you day and u look down from heaven and see ur family crying, you just want to tell them i am fine don't cry.
You know when someone is dead. WHen the clouds go dark and you hear the bell ring. When someone made it to heven the sun shines all over the land. Death is a sad thing, but you know it wil happn, so don't get sad when someone dies just smile and wait for the sun to shine.

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Sun Aug 01, 2004 3:14 am
by Brentyn
Mr Snake--
It's been finished for a while. I just held off letting people know except through my website, principally because I had no idea where it should go here. :D

I am planning to write and produce music, once I get the means to do so (read: money). It's going to be mostly dark, ambient trance, with the exception of I Want My Soul Back which'll be hard goa/psy (for obvious reasons if you've read the fic :D).

One more thing: Gabriel? If that's a reference to something, it went completely over my head. ???

Bachelor Chow--
Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have just validated three months of work. :)

Yours is fantastic. Very Cradle of Filth-esque, with the classical, Scripture-style English. How long did that take (I just can't fathom someone coming up with something this semantically complex off the top of one's head)?

PS. Here's another couple: I wrote this after I watched the third volume of Serial Experiments Lain.


She's walking down the path
Her hair is a mess from the wind
But she doesn't care
She doesn't care anymore
The thoughts that pervade her senses...
(Which is the real me?
It wasn't me, was it?
Why did they lie to me?)

Questions are unanswered
Now the answer shows himself
Who are you?




That's a lie.
And you know it.


And this one is my version of Matthew Reilly's book Ice Station, edited especially for the impatient.

Shane M. Schofield
USMC lieutenant
Eyes cut by a Serb

His Recon unit
Sent to remote ice station
They found a spaceship!

The French got there first
Libby Gant blew their cover
All hell then breaks loose

Our Marines prevail
Rebound discovers French trap
Petard sliced and diced

Now, Peter Cameron
Writer for Washington Post
Visits Andrew Trent

Trent tells about spies
Government conspiracy
Shane's team: infected?

Yes! Rogue soldier kills
A fellow wounded Marine
Ends up tied to pole

Radio is jammed
SAS don't sound friendly
Scarecrow flies the coop

Eight hovercrafts chase
Almost all are killed (gruesome!)
Marines fall down cliff

A French submarine
Aiming a missile at Wilkes
But Schofield destroys

Schofield and Renshaw
Make it back to the station
Every hostile killed!

Gant's revelation
Spaceship is not a spaceship
Just an Air Force plane

ICG again!
Montana and S. Hensleigh
Both rightfully die

Nuke missile coming!
Ice station becomes iceberg
Schofield uses plane

After Air Force deaths
Schofield heads for the flagship
The USS Wasp

Conspiracy head
Admiral Thomas Clayton
Skin wiped from the face

Schofield saves the day
ICQ moles are expunged
With help from A. Trent

The job is now done
Newspapers run tale for weeks
What will happen next?

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2004 12:46 pm
by SirMustapha
Brentyn wrote: One more thing: Gabriel? If that's a reference to something, it went completely over my head. ???
Gabriel! Peter Gabriel! Oh, you shouldn't bother too much about it. I just think concept albums make me think of Genesis, and I found it fun that someone would be writing lyrics a la "Lamb Lies Down On Broadway". Oh, I'm just silly!

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2004 2:49 pm
by Brentyn
Oh, I get it! Yeah, I'm a bit of a concept album fan (Scenes from a Memory dragged me in). I recently bought Damnation and a Day, which kicked major ass.

Anyway, I checked out the lyrics to The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway, and well, it looks like a big thank you for a major compliment is in order. :D

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004 10:03 pm
by Horrorhead
Here's a lyric I once wrote as I was really hopeless, pissed and didn't know anymore what's going on....

More Than A Hundred Times

Today I couldn’t win
But however, Nothing really matters
Because I’ve lost more than a hundred times
And still don’t have a desire to win
I’ve lost more than a hundred times in my life
But I’ve got to know it’s just a game
And that’s life
So I shouldn’t take it easy
And got to be more serious
Or still it won’t change
After I tried it more than a hundred times

I’ve been looking at you
More than a hundred times
And still I can’t realize who you are
It ain’t easy, It ain’t easy
To find out who you are
I tried to find out more than a hundred times
But still I have to ask
Who are you?
I saw you and you saw me more than a hundred times
But still we are waiting who will ask first
Who are you?

Everything is getting better all the time
I made it all better more than a hundred times
But still I’m not perfect at all
And feel like a loser
The world is so wonderful
But still I didn’t find what can make my life wonderful
I’ve been searching all over more than a hundred times
It takes so long, I really want to find and take it with me
I’ve been wishing that
More than a hundred times

I forgot and ignored everything
More than a hundred times
But it comes again and again to me
It still remains the same
After I threw it away more than a hundred times

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:50 am
by SirMustapha
Hey, Horrorhead, that was pretty good. It felt sad and angry without being over-the-top.

Now, here's the big chef-d'oeuvre. The final rant. I wrote this last night, and it pretty much fills the final gap, as far as lyrics are concerned. It's all literal and direct, by the way: there's no metaphor or symbolism here. It's truly one big rant against rain. Even the "Only after the storm is over" part at the end is literal. No second meaning, unless you really want it...

Thunders, by Fernie Canto. Yawn.

Why does it have to rain when i go out to work?
And it keeps on raining until I come back home.
The traffic becomes slow, and everything looks grey,
And my shoes begin to squelch, and my feet get wet.
I'm going to get sick, 'cause the rain is too cold.
And I have to carry this umbrella everywhere,
It makes both my hands busy, and it doesn't even do much good.
There is water on the road, big puddles, by the sidewalk,
And some car will drive right over it, and make it splash all over me.
And when I get home, things don't get much better.
There are buckets and pots on the floor, and on the table.
The roof is leaking right on top of my bed,
And of the telephone, and of the computer.
The rain got so hard, they had to cut electricity.
Now I can't see a thing, it's raining even harder.
Rain does not help me, and simply never will.
I can take the wind, I can take the sun,
I can take the cold, but rain, I just can't stand.
It's been hot these days, but we're not going to the beach,
'Cause it will be raining for the entire holiday.
Now you will tell me a lot of good things about rain,
So take this telephone and call someone who gives a damn.
The rain can wash the roads, and the streets, and the sidewalk,
But if we want that, we can pay someone to do the job.
If I want water, I'll open the faucet.
If I want a bath, I'll turn on the shower.
Why isn't it raining on the farmlands and fields, where people need it?
People starve in the northeast, and it rains here instead.
Thanks for all the car crashes and floods and storms.
Thanks for being a bitch, rain, I hate you.
We don't need you here.
No one wants you here.
Go away, you useless pest.
You destroyed enough lives already.
I want to go out of my house.
I want the birds singing, and the sun.
I'm going to see you, girl, don't worry.
I'll go there and see you.
We'll be together, and I will be all yours, my love.
I will be yours for the rest of my life,
But I have to wait until the storm is over.
I will see you, my love,
But only after the storm is over.
Only after the storm is over.
Only after the storm is over.

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:06 am
by Kif White
That's awesome, Fernie :)

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 11:03 am
by Horrorhead
Yeah, That's good, Fernie. Rain is sometimes really annoyin' -_-

Re:Before it's gone-- *this has poems mainly*

Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 2:02 pm
by c_nordlander
Lots of good stuff here. Particularly Michael's one... and Fernie, yours is amazing!

Another classical-type poem. This is a somewhat original (well, I ripped it off Euripides) spin on a familiar myth. Warning: long and rhetorical.

The Defence of Helen by Christina Nordlander

When in the embers of Troy, Menelaus of the loud war-cry
found fair Helen, his queen, he pointed his spear at her heart.
She, impassionèd, grasped the harsh bronze with rosy-fleshed fingers,
looked in her husband's eyes and spake these undaunted words:
"Lord Menelaus of Sparta, quench not your spear in this bosom;
kill me, but let it not stew in the poison blood of a whore.
Yet, if I ever was chaste, if ever you loved and adored me,
husband, let me not die until I have made my defence!"
Mazed stood the son of Atreus, hearing the words of fair Helen,
such as the day he had taken his bride from Tyndareus' house.
"Night fell, before these ten years of woe, and the singing had ended
when in my chamber I found the far-shooting Dardanian prince..."
As when a surgeon slices a wound and makes cleaner by harming,
such was her voice in the warrior's brain, and his tears were unleashed.
"As I spurned him to go, he clasped at my knees supplicating;
these were his words: 'O queen, come with me to Troy!'
I called my maids; he covered my mouth. 'I have loved since I saw you;
Eros, whom none can defy, has struck me to staggering pain.
With a deed to re-echo in song I shall win your love or my freedom:
I shall lie by your side or lie in the pyre aflame.
I have forgotten your husband and state; on my lips taste oblivion!
Leave all but the name of Helen, O love; come with me to Troy!'
Twisting out of his grip, I then, in more anger than pity:
'Take your madness to Troy! Begone, ere I call for my lord!'
Horror! a flame was alit in his eyes and his voice shook with fever
When for the third time he spake. Great was my fear at the sound:
'When I pastured my flocks on the wooded peaks of Mount Ida
Shielding my eyes to the sun, I saw a flowering youth
Far exceeding all mortals, in flight. Wings shone on his helmet,
Wings also flared on his sandals as he moored down on the grass.
In one hand a herald's staff, entwined with two serpents,
and in the other an apple of gold. At his commanding sign
Stood before me three ladies, immortals and goddesses surely,
bidding me name the fairest, to whom the apple would pass.
First was the warrior maid, in whose eyes glint the might of a virgin,
whose long fingers excel in the works of distaff and spear.
Terror laughed on her shield and waved in the plume of her helmet;
She smiled, pleading her case, and promised me wisdom unheard.'
I broke him off, with a luckless laugh: 'You were wrong to refuse her:
Corslets strike men's arrows back, and wisdom repels those of Love.'
'Second came one, clad only in light. Not for me to describe her --
yet, had I thousands of tongues, all sweeter than leaves of the rose
She would defy my power of speech. But if you would see her
reflection reflected, O love, look in your mirror of bronze!'
Then I shuddered to see through the window the star of the goddess:
'Call the Cyprian to wrath if you like; I shall not blaspheme.
What was the prize that she promised you, you most heedless of princes?'
Then he: 'But for the fairest of Queens to come with me to Troy.'
Then a cold rage shook at my liver and grew all inside me
Such as a snowy wind grows over the salt of the sea:
'To a goddess who bawds for wives, blasphemy would be pious!
I would not follow you now, though the Cyprian knelt at my knees!
Hurry your tale and befone: who was the third of the deathless?
What more glorious prize than my body did you refuse?'
'Truly I name her a queen: though she was no less fair than the others
yet was her foot not so light, her gait was majestic with age.
She wore a robe of the purple of kings, and her sceptre was golden;
The bird, whose plumes are the sunset, pecked at the grass by her feet.
Smiling at me, she promised me greater things than both others:
Dominion of Asia -- of Asia, and Hellas too.
Would I had chosen her gift! Then I could have commanded
As I have now begged thrice: Helen, come with me to Troy!'
Love, was I wrong to acquiesce? Will you consider the choices:
Me, or all Achaean maids? Me, or the crown of the world?
Meekly I went to his hollow ship, like a bull to the altar,
Buying your freedom with this perpetual stain on my flesh!
Yet such was my sacrifice, that now I would gladly undo it
Not to be granted my life, only forgiven to die."
Far fell the clattering bronze of the spear on the fire-cracked flagstones;
Weeping with love Menelaus embraced fair Helen of Troy.