STORY: Growing Up

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c_nordlander
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STORY: Growing Up

Postby c_nordlander » Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:27 pm

A story I'd quite like some feedback on.
Nothing science-fictional or fantastic about this one: it's very much slice-of-life. (It is in fact rather similar to my previous story "Innocence, a Novel", if you've read it.) Don't expect any dramatic twists. A bit of an experiment with how minimalist you can make your plot while still writing a proper story.

Criticise away! Be as ruthless as you like, even if it's just minor things like grammar or sentence structure. It's extremely short (less than a page!), so it's not a massive commitment. I'm intending to send this to a competition for stories of <1,000 words, but if you think that I should scrap this and send something more dramatic, feel free to say so too.

Spoiler


Can be read here.
Last edited by c_nordlander on Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
The noose draws tighter;
This is the end;
I'm a good fighter
But a bad friend;
I've played the traitor
Over and over;
I'm a good hater
But a bad lover.


Elinor Wylie, "Peregrine"
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missy_misery
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Re: STORY: Growing Up

Postby missy_misery » Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:23 am

As always, Chris, you write flawlessly <3
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Terry Y
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Re: STORY: Growing Up

Postby Terry Y » Sat Dec 17, 2011 5:06 am

Downloadeded! Review to follow.
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