Writing Competition Comments Thread

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Archonix
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Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by Archonix » Wed Jun 08, 2005 12:05 am

Comments on entries in the current writing competition will be posted here.
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by Ekko » Tue Jun 14, 2005 5:57 pm

Oh, looks like DC went _just_ over the limited number of words there. ;D Wow, 4,422. Pretty impressive though, good stuff...
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by c_nordlander » Tue Jun 14, 2005 10:21 pm

Though I've never read "Solaris", nor watched any of the film versions, I quite enjoyed "Night of the Living Maude". Very good idea. I wasn't too happy about the references to "A Star is Born-Again", but that's just because I despise that episode, it was well handled in the story. (As for Lisa's "ask about sex" line, I'm torn: it's funny, in a disturbing way, but yes, disturbing.) Good characterisation of the Flanderses; about equal doses of comedy, horror and drama; funny ending. Oh, whatever. I'm just glad to see Maude again.

EDIT: I just noticed that both stories posted so far have featured Snowball I to some extent. Weird.
Last edited by Anonymous on Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by Dead Composer » Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:15 pm

Well, Immaterial, that was a liberal interpretation of "Contrast between Light and Dark".  A sweet story, nonetheless, and just the right length.  The dialogue was realistic, though not very humorous.  Fortunately, you didn't sugar-coat Marge lying to Lisa about the fate of her cat.

Thumbs up.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by c_nordlander » Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:00 am

Ooh, thank you!
Dead Composer wrote: Well, Immaterial, that was a liberal interpretation of "Contrast between Light and Dark".
More like "literal", I think.  :)
Say hello to the rug's topography
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Say hello to the shrinking in your head
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by c_nordlander » Mon Jun 20, 2005 5:20 pm

@Hellfish: I just skimmed your story (don't worry, I'll read everything through minutely before voting), but I liked it very much. I caught some small mistakes (an its/it's error, for example), but nothing at all serious. Characterisation seems good, and the ending is excellent.

EDIT: Where's Snowball I?  :D

ANOTHER EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention the subtle "Maniac Mansion"/"Day of the Tentacle" reference. I love those games.
Last edited by Anonymous on Thu Jun 23, 2005 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Say hello to the rug's topography
It holds quite a lot of interest with your face down on it.
Say hello to the shrinking in your head
You can't see it, but you know it's there, so don't neglect it.


-- Failure, "The Nurse Who Loved Me"
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by Hellfish » Mon Jun 20, 2005 10:25 pm

Heh,thanks. Sorry to break the tradition (*whistles Primus' "To defy the laws of tradition"*) but with all those neardead folks I couldn't fit any undead characters in there.;D
*Finally takes the time read the other entries, has edited with comments*

EDIT:
Immaterial: Wow... "Black cat, white cat" was... Touching.Very well written and good characterisation all around, even though I found Homer a little bit too stupid near the end, in the car.

Dead Composer: A large part of the story didn't seem to go in any specific direction, to me. But then came the revelation. Sets things up nicely for a sequel, don't it? (hint hint) ;D
Last edited by Hellfish on Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by c_nordlander » Wed Jun 22, 2005 8:54 am

@Omar: Where's Snowball I Ahem, well done. The technical side of your writing could use some work (I found a lot of run-on sentences here), but it's a good story, with quite a few memorable lines. Touching. My main problem is that Lisa seems to adapt to her new situation a little too quickly, despite her shock, but that's a minor nitpick. I enjoyed reading this.
Say hello to the rug's topography
It holds quite a lot of interest with your face down on it.
Say hello to the shrinking in your head
You can't see it, but you know it's there, so don't neglect it.


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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by OARRIAGA2001 » Wed Jun 22, 2005 2:29 pm

I know she did, that was my main problem with the story "being so long"  then trying to condense it the most, and still make it good to read was hard, I'm glad to hear that you like it.

Sorry for nor reviewing you story, I read it yesterday and oh my god it was wonderfull, you did a pretty good job without exceeding 3000 words like I did, At first I thought it was a parody and did not read it, but yesterday I was caught in the first two paragraphs and could not stop it was late yes , but who cares it was good, I cried once or twice, so why deny it.  ;D

P.S. oh and chris It will take me sometime to fix those technical errors, the book you told me the other day I have, and is wonderful, I also got a book from Verbal advantage which comes with some cd´s, this is their webpage check them out and tell me what you think: http://www.verbaladvantage.com/shop/pro ... TC=content
Last edited by OARRIAGA2001 on Wed Jun 22, 2005 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by OARRIAGA2001 » Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:44 am

I will add my entry again, now I´m just making corrections to it.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by Dagdamor » Mon Jun 27, 2005 11:31 pm

Just read "White Cat, Black Cat". Sweet story. What else can I say? I have no words right now... unless I'll read something better until the end of the compo (however I doubt I will), you have my voice.
She curled up, as much as you can curl up when you're not a cat.
I loved this line.
Is this what you would do if *I* were run over? Go down the end of the street and buy yourself a new kid?
Another great moment...
Thank you for the nice piece of fanfiction, Chris.

From now on, this picture is the illustration to your story for me.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by Hellfish » Mon Jun 27, 2005 11:58 pm

Dagdamor wrote: ...

From now on, this picture is the illustration to your story for me.
My thought exactly, though I never found the pic.. Who drew it, anyway?
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by Dagdamor » Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:10 am

Night Owl. I don't know her real name. Here's her gallery on SR.
Aww, she drew many sweetest pics and then disappeared...
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by Ekko » Wed Jun 29, 2005 4:30 pm

Tragic really. I never even got to meet her :-\...
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread

Post by c_nordlander » Mon Jul 04, 2005 9:36 am

Yes, Night Owl's wonderful picture was one of the inspirations to this story.
Say hello to the rug's topography
It holds quite a lot of interest with your face down on it.
Say hello to the shrinking in your head
You can't see it, but you know it's there, so don't neglect it.


-- Failure, "The Nurse Who Loved Me"
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