Writing Competition Comments Thread
Writing Competition Comments Thread
Comments on entries in the current writing competition will be posted here.
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
— Piet Hein - Grooks
Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Oh, looks like DC went _just_ over the limited number of words there. Wow, 4,422. Pretty impressive though, good stuff...
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Though I've never read "Solaris", nor watched any of the film versions, I quite enjoyed "Night of the Living Maude". Very good idea. I wasn't too happy about the references to "A Star is Born-Again", but that's just because I despise that episode, it was well handled in the story. (As for Lisa's "ask about sex" line, I'm torn: it's funny, in a disturbing way, but yes, disturbing.) Good characterisation of the Flanderses; about equal doses of comedy, horror and drama; funny ending. Oh, whatever. I'm just glad to see Maude again.
EDIT: I just noticed that both stories posted so far have featured Snowball I to some extent. Weird.
EDIT: I just noticed that both stories posted so far have featured Snowball I to some extent. Weird.
Last edited by Anonymous on Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
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Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Well, Immaterial, that was a liberal interpretation of "Contrast between Light and Dark". A sweet story, nonetheless, and just the right length. The dialogue was realistic, though not very humorous. Fortunately, you didn't sugar-coat Marge lying to Lisa about the fate of her cat.
Thumbs up.
Thumbs up.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Ooh, thank you!
More like "literal", I think.Dead Composer wrote: Well, Immaterial, that was a liberal interpretation of "Contrast between Light and Dark".
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
- c_nordlander
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
@Hellfish: I just skimmed your story (don't worry, I'll read everything through minutely before voting), but I liked it very much. I caught some small mistakes (an its/it's error, for example), but nothing at all serious. Characterisation seems good, and the ending is excellent.
EDIT: Where's Snowball I?
ANOTHER EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention the subtle "Maniac Mansion"/"Day of the Tentacle" reference. I love those games.
EDIT: Where's Snowball I?
ANOTHER EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention the subtle "Maniac Mansion"/"Day of the Tentacle" reference. I love those games.
Last edited by Anonymous on Thu Jun 23, 2005 10:10 am, edited 1 time in total.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Heh,thanks. Sorry to break the tradition (*whistles Primus' "To defy the laws of tradition"*) but with all those neardead folks I couldn't fit any undead characters in there.
*Finally takes the time read the other entries, has edited with comments*
EDIT:
Immaterial: Wow... "Black cat, white cat" was... Touching.Very well written and good characterisation all around, even though I found Homer a little bit too stupid near the end, in the car.
Dead Composer: A large part of the story didn't seem to go in any specific direction, to me. But then came the revelation. Sets things up nicely for a sequel, don't it? (hint hint)
*Finally takes the time read the other entries, has edited with comments*
EDIT:
Immaterial: Wow... "Black cat, white cat" was... Touching.Very well written and good characterisation all around, even though I found Homer a little bit too stupid near the end, in the car.
Dead Composer: A large part of the story didn't seem to go in any specific direction, to me. But then came the revelation. Sets things up nicely for a sequel, don't it? (hint hint)
Last edited by Hellfish on Tue Jun 21, 2005 2:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
And what's the deal with traffic theory?
- c_nordlander
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
@Omar: Where's Snowball I Ahem, well done. The technical side of your writing could use some work (I found a lot of run-on sentences here), but it's a good story, with quite a few memorable lines. Touching. My main problem is that Lisa seems to adapt to her new situation a little too quickly, despite her shock, but that's a minor nitpick. I enjoyed reading this.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
I know she did, that was my main problem with the story "being so long" then trying to condense it the most, and still make it good to read was hard, I'm glad to hear that you like it.
Sorry for nor reviewing you story, I read it yesterday and oh my god it was wonderfull, you did a pretty good job without exceeding 3000 words like I did, At first I thought it was a parody and did not read it, but yesterday I was caught in the first two paragraphs and could not stop it was late yes , but who cares it was good, I cried once or twice, so why deny it.
P.S. oh and chris It will take me sometime to fix those technical errors, the book you told me the other day I have, and is wonderful, I also got a book from Verbal advantage which comes with some cd´s, this is their webpage check them out and tell me what you think: http://www.verbaladvantage.com/shop/pro ... TC=content
Sorry for nor reviewing you story, I read it yesterday and oh my god it was wonderfull, you did a pretty good job without exceeding 3000 words like I did, At first I thought it was a parody and did not read it, but yesterday I was caught in the first two paragraphs and could not stop it was late yes , but who cares it was good, I cried once or twice, so why deny it.
P.S. oh and chris It will take me sometime to fix those technical errors, the book you told me the other day I have, and is wonderful, I also got a book from Verbal advantage which comes with some cd´s, this is their webpage check them out and tell me what you think: http://www.verbaladvantage.com/shop/pro ... TC=content
Last edited by OARRIAGA2001 on Wed Jun 22, 2005 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Never judge a book by its cover.....
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
I will add my entry again, now I´m just making corrections to it.
Never judge a book by its cover.....
Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Just read "White Cat, Black Cat". Sweet story. What else can I say? I have no words right now... unless I'll read something better until the end of the compo (however I doubt I will), you have my voice.
Thank you for the nice piece of fanfiction, Chris.
From now on, this picture is the illustration to your story for me.
I loved this line.She curled up, as much as you can curl up when you're not a cat.
Another great moment...Is this what you would do if *I* were run over? Go down the end of the street and buy yourself a new kid?
Thank you for the nice piece of fanfiction, Chris.
From now on, this picture is the illustration to your story for me.
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
My thought exactly, though I never found the pic.. Who drew it, anyway?
And what's the deal with traffic theory?
Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Night Owl. I don't know her real name. Here's her gallery on SR.
Aww, she drew many sweetest pics and then disappeared...
Aww, she drew many sweetest pics and then disappeared...
Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Tragic really. I never even got to meet her ...
Can you withstand the power of my super taunt?
- c_nordlander
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Re: Writing Competition Comments Thread
Yes, Night Owl's wonderful picture was one of the inspirations to this story.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.