OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

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c_nordlander
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OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by c_nordlander » Sun Oct 06, 2013 2:14 pm

What a surprise! A new Futurama fic! By me!

Set after the movies, but before "Proposition Infinity" (so Amy and Kif are divorced). On a deserted planet, Zapp and Kif come across an unusual sight... a double of Zapp, but the complete opposite of Zapp in terms of morals and ethics. What will happen? Will both of them have to be destroyed to keep the universe safe? In a subplot, Amy goes to extreme measures trying to win Kif back.

Comedy (though it has dramatic elements); script format. Any constructive criticism is appreciated (in particular, I found it hard to make Kif's dialogue feel in character, and there are some wangsty scenes that kind of drag on).

Content warnings: references to drug use. Also, not really a warning, but Fry, Bender and Leela don't play a very big part in this story (Amy does, though).

If you want me to upload it in another format than .doc, feel free to tell me and I will.

EDIT: Reuploaded to fix a couple of typoes that Kaspired caught. Thank you for pointing them out!
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Last edited by c_nordlander on Mon Dec 16, 2013 11:41 pm, edited 3 times in total.
The noose draws tighter;
This is the end;
I'm a good fighter
But a bad friend;
I've played the traitor
Over and over;
I'm a good hater
But a bad lover.


Elinor Wylie, "Peregrine"
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Re: OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by kaspired » Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:16 am

Wow, that's quite a story. Lots of contunity points (even referencing the sliced DOOP station), the gags were good. The viewpoints were pretty good (when Amy was trying to amnesia-ize Kif). The multi-scene fight between
Spoiler
deserves note also.

The plot is involved but not the "over-the-top-too-hard-to-follow " level. Quite nice.

Two minor typos, both early in the story. The lines:
"With respect, sir, neither your natural resources nor your primitive technology are of any interest to you." Should be "interest to us"?
"That may be. However, your advanced technology are of great interest to us! Your ships alone would mean anything to the people of the Earth." Should be "advanced technology is of great interest"?

The only real problem I had was the scene where Zapp
Spoiler
Anyway, these are twiddley little comments. Like I said, I do like the story. It's very ambitious.
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Re: OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by Gulliver63 » Fri Oct 18, 2013 7:09 pm

I finally read this last night; anything dealing with paraboxes and alternate universes is going to hook me. Love it. Found my self chuckling at several places, and found the humor to be spot on. Kind of a nice surprise there at the end as well. It's only recently occurred to me that very little has really been done to explore the personality of Zapp, and there's a lot of material there for future stories. And an alternate Zapp - that's just shweet! Well done. Title's great too.
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Re: OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by missy_misery » Sun Oct 27, 2013 3:13 am

*DOWNLOADS FOR LATER READING!! <3 Will be back with a review.
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Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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Re: OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by missy_misery » Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:52 am

Phew, back with a review!

The first thing I really like about it is the sort of icy, sci-fi-ish tone atop the usual Framaar goofiness (everyone is impressively IC BTW - I reaaallly loved Zapp here, and Kif is his ever practical self). You have a certain knack for the military feeling of a spacetime society trying to negotiate itself between disparate parties; I really liked that.

The comedy comes in and it's perfectly show-apropos.
Spoiler
And it was absolutely wonderful to watch
Spoiler
More great lines:
Spoiler
Spoiler
Loved it! Currently sitting at a Solid A for me!
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

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Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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Re: OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by c_nordlander » Mon Apr 21, 2014 1:20 pm

Aww, thank you very much for your high praise, Missy!

I was always disappointed that there was no canonical resolution to the Amy/Kif break-up (and then they were randomly back together again in Season 6). That became my main impetus for writing their subplot.

Potentially interesting information about the writing process of this story under the cut. Contains spoilers:
Spoiler
Once more, thank you, everyone who read this.
Last edited by c_nordlander on Thu Jun 26, 2014 12:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
The noose draws tighter;
This is the end;
I'm a good fighter
But a bad friend;
I've played the traitor
Over and over;
I'm a good hater
But a bad lover.


Elinor Wylie, "Peregrine"
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Re: OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by missy_misery » Thu Apr 24, 2014 4:39 am

Spoiler
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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Re: OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by gkscotty » Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:31 pm

Holy hell I took way too long to review this. Sorry Chris!

Good stuff, funny, though the plot felt a bit lite in places. I enjoyed Zapp #2's character and Zapp #1 was well written, but I did feel things escalated a bit too quickly once it got to the party. Leela's speech in particular felt like it came out of nowhere. It kinda feels like you needed to have some time where Zapp #2 interacts with the PE crew to establish that they know what his deal is and how disgusted he is with this world.

Can't really comment on the Kif/Amy stuff, that wasn't a relationship that ever really resonated with me anyway. Kif was consistently well written though.

Overall quite entertaining! Sorry again it too so long to give it a look over.
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It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was Us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do bad things. - Jingo, Terry Pratchett
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Re: OPINIONS: "The Good, the Bad and the Neutral"

Post by c_nordlander » Wed Nov 05, 2014 9:12 am

Please don't feel guilty. Feel happy that you reviewed it instead! I'm very happy to hear that the characterisation was good. I had a lot of fun trying to write a nice version of Zapp.

I think you (and other readers) are right that there's something wrong with the pacing or something once the script gets to Zapp #2's big revelation at the end. I'll probably rewrite it at some point, but I'm not quite sure how to improve it. Leela's speech wasn't really meant to tie in with anything else in the story; it was just meant to be a parody of the kind of sappy speech that usually convinces the invading alien overlord that humanity is worthy of survival.

Never mind, thanks for reading!
The noose draws tighter;
This is the end;
I'm a good fighter
But a bad friend;
I've played the traitor
Over and over;
I'm a good hater
But a bad lover.


Elinor Wylie, "Peregrine"
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