I think there should a comma instead of a hyphen, after all, the second idea is another independent clause.It felt like twenty below in London - and he couldn't risk coming down with a cold now.
There is something I'm not sure here. After the comma, the words "belly-first" are used like an adjective, and I don't see any noun. Will the sentence be better written if that hypen was taken out?and he let out an 'oof!' of alarm when he finally reached the box, colliding belly-first with a mail box.
very descriptive again.He took a moment to refresh himself, feeling an icy breeze whip across his cheek.
I'm catching a cold myself. 
Oh, how pathetic! Kind of the same Future Ralph from the series, but not as dumb. Oh, why do you make your characters suffer? :-) Like if I don't do the same sometimes. It does give some suspense to the story, doesn't it?Looking down at the now-crinkled envelope, he wondered why Laura had been so insistent that all RSPVs must come through a videophone or regular mail. He didn't have the cash for an internet cafe, and his videophone service had been cut off a week before, leaving him with the oldest recourse left in modern communication.
Bart would be disappointed - they were the oldest of friends, after all.
I would change the hyphen for a comma. It is good that you kept "The Bart/Ralph friendship" even in your waiving series.
Lisa always comes at the right moment. Helping Ralph to get into an special school was a pretty nice touch from you to avoid the hollowness of the dumber Ralph we all know.
When I read the first lines I was confused as of how Ralph was more "intellegent" for a Wiggum, that is. But you made it quite clear, here.
You already know about that name problem. "Muntz"
I loved this line. Mainly, because, there is enough proof that Ralph has some talent in acting. In the episode where Lisa reject's his love. I can't recall its name, but he did a pretty good George Washington.They decided on sending him to The University of Berkeley at California, to hone his acting skills in a well-furnished drama department.
I know this is the third person but to my point of view some of those "he" could have been avoided.He couldn't berate himself too harshly for leaving, Ralph reasoned. He had been told that England was an unmined opportunity for Western actors - the London stage was blazingly alive. It was there that he had finally gained some attention, in a minor production of Hamlet outside of the West End.
He couldn't berate himself too harshly for leaving, Ralph reasoned. Having been told that England was an unmined opportunity for western actors surely opened his eyes. The London stage was blazingly alive. It was there, that he had finally gained some attention in a minor production of Hamlet outside the west end.
I was shoked when you introduced Jesica Lovejoy to this story. I wasn't expecting it a all. Great surprise for me!
Burney? Or you meant Barney. Is he his son? I'm confused. Or is it just a typo? Anyway, I think Barney would have been too old for Ralph to be pals. I don't know Barney's age, but I know he is younger than Homer.He wished his old friend, Burney, was still around.
I really liked the story. This is the first Ralph story I ever read, and let me tell you. You made it entertaining, when I wouldn't be able to write anything with such premise as yours.
I think that if Jessica is going to have part on that play they're planning, you should, also, explain how she got there. Also, I'm waiting to read what will happen when he goes to Bart's wedding. I hope Bart has changed, too. It'll be a shame if Ralph had outgrew him.
