The master key.

[OARRIAGA2001]

A story in the works.


I've been working on ideas (soft-time writing) about an unorthodox story;  well, maybe for this place. :-)  There are some seeds written down randomly on my notebook, so I need to start putting the puzzle together.  The main plot is like this:  Maggie.  Yes Maggie, the non-talking child is now in her mid 20's.  Trying to do something with her life, she leaves the country in search of a better life.  A life and future she couldn't find neither at Springfield nor the rest of America.  However, in her desperation of sending money to her parents and help Lisa out of jail for a murder she did not commit.  Feeling depressed by her thin luck finding a decent job; she decides to take the easy way.  She goes to Europe. 

While on the road of prostitution, she learns a lot about men.  Going to libraries she becomes a knowledgeable person about men's psychology, then learns that everyone, even the richest customers aren't satisfied with their lives.

Maggie faces many hardships while in Europe thus her job brings all kinds of horrible experiences, which in time she learns to avoid.  Now with the money with her, she comes back to America, trying to hide a past that will hunt her for the rest of her life.

Lisa gets out of jail, and her name is cleared.  And after listening about what Maggie did in order to collect the money she decides to help her.  The family goes into a money-collecting rampage to help their mentally-sick sister from her horrible dreams.


You should wonder, why in the world did I named the story like this, well is just a metaphor.


I may come out with new ideas as seeds are continuously coming out of my mind.

[missygal21880]

Well - the idea does sound good and dark....

[OARRIAGA2001]

I'll try not to make it too dark though.  I'm even thinking of having some funny moments on the first pages.  And about how dark, well, I'm not going in too deep into how low Maggie will go.  There will be no sexual content on it.  Well, maybe there will, but in a very subtle way.  Lets call it: mature content. 


I hope that all this studying about creative writing I'm doing on my own pays up somehow. And when I'm done, I'll be more than happy to take all the con-crit you guys can throw at me. 

[Dagdamor]

Idea sounds unusual and interesting. But... Lisa in the jail?
Oh well, it's up to writer of course. But please don't keep her there more than she deserves.

That means, none at all...

[c_nordlander]

Well, I don't want to be too negative, and weird as this sounds, it could work. After all, "The Yellow Mile" too would sound pretty weird if summarised. (I keep mentioning "The Yellow Mile" in this context because it's the Simpsons fanfic I know that diverges most from the format of the show while still being good.)

Even so, there are several things here that I can't see working in a story. Perhaps you should consider changing them.

1) What kind of naïve person thinks that prostitution is an easy way to make money? For every prostitute who makes enough money to send home, I'm sure there are at least a hundred who make barely enough to survive.

(You seem to think that it is fairly obvious that moving to Europe=becoming a prostitute. You might want to make that clearer in this summary.)

The bits about what Maggie learns and how she is scarred by her experiences are good.

2) How is money going to help Maggie get over her past? The only thing I can think of is that it will let her pay for a psychiatrist, but in that case, say so.

Like I said, I don't know. I'm glad to hear that there won't be any overt sexual content, but then, I never thought there would be. Truth be told, I am kind of sick of dark-for-the-sake-of-dark stories, even if well written; it palls after a while. Still, it can probably work.

[OARRIAGA2001]

I know I'm going to dark here, Chris. And ofcourse Maggie goes to Europe for another job,  her destiny will bring her to her faith, not her will.    Oh, and about the money, yes, is to pay a doctor.


No more dark stories after this one, which is about 3 pages long already.

[OARRIAGA2001]

And yes, I might change some things as the story moves foward.  For some reason, I end up doing that all the time. :-)

[missygal21880]

The only other suggestion I'm going to make is a minor one: I don't think Maggie even needs to leave the states to run afoul of the prostitution business.  She could even end up in a "high-class" brothel like they have in Nevada.  It could be a nice oppertunity for you to expose the grime-beneath-the-glitter those establishments provide.

My two cents - it's definately your story and I'm looking forward to reading it, Omar!

[OARRIAGA2001]

I know that.  There is prostitution everywhere around the world.  The point of my idea about choosing Europe as her place to migrate has nothing to do with badmouthing their way of living. I could have chosen any other place, but because of the books I've been reading I ended up with that idea. No harm intended.  Mexico is a terrible place, specially the capital.  You'll be amazed that even the "police" is involved in this act from time to time.

Thanks missygal, Chris and Sergey for your feedback and opinions.  They do mean a lot to me.

[missygal21880]

Meh, I didn't think you were.  I just suggested it to streamline your idea - give you less "here-we-go-to-get-to-here" extraneous stuff. 

[zekeprower]

well Omar it looks like it could turn out to be a very good story. most people don't really like to see characters out of their... well... character. but sometimes it give a good perspective on what the character could turn out to be, given taking different roads from what is already expected of them. all in all looks good. can't wait to read it.