OPINIONS: "Freaky Fry Day"

[Dead Composer]

To whet your appetite, here's the first chapter of my sequel to "Bender's List", "Freaky Fry Day".  Yes, it's another "Fry and Leela switch bodies" story, but this time the body switch isn't a result of "fiddling with one of the professor's inventions".  Instead they do it voluntarily, each of them seeing something to gain out of it.  Of course, things go horribly wrong.

[missygal21880]

You're putting out consistantly good work, DC.  This was a fun read.

[OARRIAGA2001]

Funny! The first line reminded me The rats of Nimh, "National Institute of Mental Health" a cartoon motion picture I also love.  This institute also exists in real life.

“My lips are sealed,” said Fry.  I should tell him, he thought.  Then he’ll break up with Leela, and I’ll have another chance with her.  Oh, who am I kidding?  Only myself, since nobody can hear me think.

Funny line, I like it.

Leela's whole idea about changing bodies with Fry seems a little out of character, I think.  The only episodes I saw from the series where from the first season,  and Leela was always avoiding him.  But I guess I could be wrong, I´m not that much of a fan of Futurama as I'm for The yellow family.

Anyway, good work here DC.  I'm looking foward to the next part, and if I have time I'll read the other parts too.  Cheers!

[Dead Composer]

Thanks for the responses.  I'm posting the chapters on fanfiction.net as I write them, so you can follow the story there.

[Meteorite]

Just a little tip: Some of the people here won't visit ff.net for various reasons, so it may be appreciated if you continued posting here.

[Dead Composer]

Here are chapters 2, 3, and 4 of "Freaky Fry Day".

[c_nordlander]

My opinions on Chapter 1:

First of all, instead of putting an unsightly Author's Note in the first paragraph, I think it would be better if you put the note (along the lines of "This story is the sequel to 'Bender's List'" or the like) straight after the title and disclaimer.

Your writing is good, as usual, though slightly short of perfect. It feels a bit dry, for some reason. (And I still don't like circumlocutions like "the angry spaceman" instead of character names.)

Bonus points for the appearance of the HypnoToad! That bit is quite nifty.

The line Omar quoted is still great (as are several others later on), and the whole problem with Foss feels real.

OK... here come some problems. I'll take them in order:

1) Is it really necessary to introduce what is (so far, at least) basically a clone of Professor Frink? I don't hate Frink, but I don't particularly like him either, and a Frink-copy has no business being in a Futurama fanfic. I realise that using Professor Farnsworth as the guy with the invention wouldn't fit (and I like the backstory to the madness), but I'd just be much more comfortable if you introduced a new scientist without Frink's name and mannerisms.

2) There's no sensitive way to put this, but... Not another body-switching fanfic. Looking over your corpus of fanfiction, I find... well, one OFF body-switching fic (two if you count the prose version), plus "Lisa 1/2" which was, to all intents and purposes, partly a body-switching fic, and you're not the only one writing fics like that. I'm not saying these fics will necessarily be bad, but I'm quite bored with the concept. (Also, aren't fics where Fry and Leela switch bodies a dime a dozen? Even so, you do have a pretty reasonable rationale behind it.) Don't get me wrong, I will keep reading this, but I think it may be time for you to move on to greater things. And

3) Great as the title is, I'm informed it's the title of a Futurama comic (where Fry and Professor Farnsworth, incidentally, switch bodies). You probably should change.

In spite of these gripes, I am interested in the resolution of the "Bender's List" events, and the writing is good, as usual, with some funny lines from Fry. Everyone seems in character, though Leela is perhaps a tad too impulsive (yes) in suggesting the body switch. Oh, and I think the mention of periods was a bit in bad taste, to be honest.

Still, I'll read the next part... someday.

[c_nordlander]

My opinions on the latest instalment:

The dialogue between Bender and Foss is funny, and I like the idea that comes out of it. Bender's plot certainly could turn out interesting.

If you prick me, do I not leak?

Simply great.

The description of the body switch is well done. (Normally I don't like switching between POVs in the middle of a scene, but here it could hardly be helped.) The way Fry's and Leela's sight changes on account of their different number of eyes is a nice touch.

So many breast jokes... oh well, I guess it couldn't be avoided, but I don't find it funny. Except insofar as AYB references are funny by default. I'm not very impressed with the peeing joke, either. It's been done.

OK, I have a rather big problem here. This is just my opinion, but: would you please not write "Fry/Leela" and "Leela/Fry"? In a script, it might be necessary, but it looks pretty awful in prose. I would much prefer if you just wrote "Fry" when talking about Fry in Leela's body, and vice versa (heh, vice versa, geddit?) Not to mention that you now refer to Fry (i. e. the person with Fry's mind) as "she", and Leela as "he". I just find that stupid.

Benders' adventures confuse me. But I guess it'll clear up soon.

Well, the plotting is good, particularly Bender's side, and there is quite a lot of funny dialogue, but I can't get over the feeling that this is mostly dialogue, and what descriptions there are are very matter-of-fact. And, well, lots of jokes about breasts and penises and going to the toilet, which I don't find amazing. I'll keep reading, though.

Just allow me to reiterate my request: *please* quit calling the leads Fry/Leela and Leela/Fry. It doesn't look pretty, and is confusing. And their genders shouldn't change, either.

[Dead Composer]

Just allow me to reiterate my request: *please* quit calling the leads Fry/Leela and Leela/Fry. It doesn't look pretty, and is confusing. And their genders shouldn't change, either.

I'd like to hear other opinions on this matter.  This would be a good opportunity for everyone to discuss their preferences, if they have any, as to how a body-switch fic should be written.

If I were writing a very short body-switch fic, then I would certainly refer to Leela in Fry's body by the name "Leela" and the pronoun "her", since the length of the story implies very few awkward situations.  However, I'm writing a considerably lengthy fic, with plenty of intricate situations for the body-switched leads.  So how do I avoid using awkward sentences like the following?

"Thank you," said Fry as Amy helped him to put on his bra.

"You stay away from my woman, Fry," said Zapp, and Leela felt her blood boil.

So, what do y'all think?

[Dagdamor]

Dead Composer
I agree with Chris, and I already mentioned the issue before, in your Frinky Friday fic.
From my point of view, when the character gets into another body, he still remains that character. He still has his own mind, behavior, and habits. I cannot say this for sure, but I believe that if Lisa was real, and all that from FF would happen to her, I'd continue treating her as Lisa, even in Bart's body. I love her not for her body, after all. I assume that she would feel the same, too...

[Dead Composer]

I'll make the changes Immaterial requested to "Freaky Fry Day".  Perhaps I should consider going back and changing "Frinky Friday" and "Lisa 1/2", to make them less confusing as well.

"Freaky Fry Day" should be finished soon.  I'll post it in Reviews when it is.

[Dead Composer]

"Freaky Fry Day" is now complete, and posted in the Reviews section.