A new Life opinions and thoughts

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zekeprower
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Re: A new Life opinions and thoughts

Post by zekeprower » Sun Mar 11, 2007 2:33 am

again thank you for the comments Chris. I really do need to work on the next part to this. I have been working on many later chapters and have not actually touched this part in about 2 months.

Well, here are a few things I have to say back to you. :) 

"A typo that I know I have pointed out before: a muscular body is "rippled", not "ripped".

As for this. If you are a true American(which I know you are not ;)) Ripped is how it is said. remember that we americans are notorious for our use of bad slang.

thank you for pointing out more tense and grammar errors, if only i really went through it more than once every 4 months.

""verbally talk to them" is redundant."


This is one of those things that I am not going to change. a small part of Zeke's Character is his unknown stupidity. He is supposed to seem smart and he is in his own right, but some of the things that he says will be brought back around and will be explained, but this one is just an inside joke that my friends and i accidentally came up with.

I hope to give something more reputable in the near future.
He stood tall on top of the mountain of his ancestors and looked down to see his home. He let loose a loud howl. He is now a man, but not just a man. He is now a true Wolf and others are sure to follow him.
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c_nordlander
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Re: A new Life opinions and thoughts

Post by c_nordlander » Sun Mar 11, 2007 9:24 am

Laguna Sky wrote: This is one of those things that I am not going to change. a small part of Zeke's Character is his unknown stupidity. He is supposed to seem smart and he is in his own right, but some of the things that he says will be brought back around and will be explained, but this one is just an inside joke that my friends and i accidentally came up with.
That's fair enough. It seems to suit his character.
I said: Hey, you! Feed the machine!
Bring them all back down to their knees!
There's no time to waste, remind the slaves
They ain't gonna make it out alive today.
I said: Hey, you! Poison the well!
Watch it all burn, take them straight to hell!
He's got the whole world in his hands
It was nice to know ya
We've all been damned!
C'mon!


-- Poor Man's Poison, "Feed the Machine"
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zekeprower
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Re: A new Life opinions and thoughts

Post by zekeprower » Sun Mar 11, 2007 4:56 pm

I do want you to know that i am taking your other suggestions into account though. :)
He stood tall on top of the mountain of his ancestors and looked down to see his home. He let loose a loud howl. He is now a man, but not just a man. He is now a true Wolf and others are sure to follow him.
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