Opinions: My first crack at the dramatic

[Tibor]

Lisa vs. Ignorance (Or This Old Milhouse)

Something I've been working on, my first foray into more emotional writing.  I am a bit stuck about filling it in, so if anyone has any ideas...

Fire away!

[c_nordlander]

Haven't really got any ideas for filling out, though having a showdown with Mr Largo sounds like quite a good idea.

This is some good writing. The main plot is indeed sobering, and the subplot is absurd, but in a good way. It's well written and has plenty of great moments, such as the Itchy&Scratchy short (one of the best ones I can remember seeing in a fanscript) and Ralph's lines. And I've got a soft spot for scenes of book burning. Not in real life, mind you. I like books.

My main objection is that... no nice way to say this, it's been done. So many of the scenes read like cuts from "Lisa the Simpson" or "They Saved Lisa's Brain", especially the latter. There's nothing wrong with your writing, it's excellent, but I can't get rid of the nagging feeling that the plot is old.

Oh, and Lisa's classmate is named Janey, and even though she's always given an impression of being a bit shallow, I doubt she would insult Lisa openly. After all, they're probably the closest thing to friends.

Other than that, it's good work, and I look forward to seeing more. (Just try hard to differentiate it from the episodes I mentioned. I'm afraid I can't give any more substantial advice.) And the subplot, as I said, it's surreal but I like the kind of thing. You've got Grampa's character down to a tee.

What more is there to say? Uh... Wagner! That'll scare 'em... eh... Chris out.

[Tibor]

I knew there was something off, but I couldn't put a word on it.  Yes, this seems like Saved Lisa's Brain, Moaning Lisa, and Lisa the Simpson rehashed.

I think I'm gonna put this on back burner, and maybe incorporate these ideas into something later.

Oh, and wasn't Janey one of the taunters in Lisa the Vegitarian? "Are you gonna marry a carrot?"  Although that taunting was set off by something, not just pure enmity.

Thanks for your thoughts on this.  I'll see what I can do with it.

EDIT:  On another note, Ms. Hoover's "Welcome to Hooverville" comment is something of a layered joke.  For you across the pond, President Hoover was the scapegoat for the ruined economy in the thirties.  Shanty towns where homeless people slept were called "Hoovervilles", so a Hooverville would be a depressing place indeed.

[c_nordlander]

Good thing you'll keep working on it. Hmmm... you're right about Janey's mean comments. I forgot about that episode. You're right, she's a bit like a fair-weather friend... hanging out with Lisa when she feels like it, then making fun of her when she wants to look good in front of the "in" people. I've had my fair share of people like that, I'm afraid.

Oooh... didn't know that Hooverville thing. On the other hand, I had Nelson calling her J. Edgar Hoover in a fanscript. I guess it evens out.  :)

[zekeprower]

forgive the ignorant one standing here, but i couldn't find any links to the story. am i missing something? immaterial made it sound so good that i wanted to read it.

[Meteorite]

When you go through the old threads Zeke, especially ones more than a year old, expect a lot of pictures and attachments to be missing from their original posts.

[zekeprower]

is there a place on the site where they still might exist or is it one of those, "This is why it is important to come to class early" kind of things?

[Meteorite]

They might exist in the old attachments, but because there's hundreds of attachments in there, and we don't even know what the file name is, the chances of finding it is very low.  If, like I said, it's in there to begin with.

[zekeprower]

oh well, easy come, easy go.