First, congratulations on finishing this fic, Tony and Missy!
I'll try not to repeat myself too much from the earlier review. If this review seems a bit negative, it's because I reckon I've pointed out the good stuff already and can now focus on what can be improved. So do remember that I'm enjoying this fic greatly.
All these things will be on my mind tomorrow at their ceremony.
This strikes me as a slightly over-obvious segue to the next scene. Still, it works.
I like the empty row of seats for Cletus' and Brandine's children.
I still love the way you bring in concise but comprehensive bits of backstory on the kids at the graduation, particularly Janey (who's always needed more exposure in fanfic) and Allison.
"Mom" is capitalised in some places but not in others.
Typo: "Dondellinger".
I like little details like the Springfieldian accents.
“So you’re going to lower the boom, eh?” Lisa shot her a miserable look as they ascended a steep peak. “Why’re you so scared? You’ve been thinking of breaking up with him for months.”
The way this is formatted makes it seem like it's Lisa's line, which confused me at first. I'd put linebreaks between these bits, to show that it's not Lisa saying it.
Milhouse's grief over his terminated relationship gave way to automotive concern.
This made me laugh!
While they maintained strong feelings for the friends they were leaving behind, these last few minutes had confirmed their decision to study outside Springfield as the right one.
Not a bad sentence, but it's a bit superfluous. It pretty much tells what the scene has already done a good job showing.
The Allison and Janey scene is great, though I feel the bike ride down the road could have been given a little more description. It is fairly important, after all.
Typo: "wiithout".
You have "rattled" twice in three paragraphs at the end of the scene with Allison and Janey. It's not too annoying, but it might be a good idea to change one of them to another word.
filling cardboard boxes with everything that fits
That should be "fitted".
The description is good. In fact, pretty much every scene is good.
These were the childhood awards that once adorned the walls and shelves of Allison's side room, each one adding to her legendary skills in the classroom or on the saxophone, each one now past its utility.
Lovely description.
"He sounded like that cartoon dog you used to watch."
Awesome.
She poked Bart in the ribs, “this is all your fault.
"This" should probably be capitalised.
“Hey, it took a long time to dye those doves green!”
Excellent.
“I didn’t even see it coming until last year – how could you have known?” Lisa crossed her hands upon her lap in a maidenly fashion.
Excellent line and description.
“Bart!” Lisa hissed, “you did take your finals?”
I think you should have a full stop and capitalise the next sentence.
Yay, Down With Buildings!
I love the reference to "Simpson Tide", and Homer's air guitar.
It's "Nahasapeemapetilon". (Yes, I had to look that up. I'm going by the Complete Guide here.)
Great Maggie characterisation, too.
Maggie shrugged, which is pre-pubescent slang for ‘whatever.’
Excellent.
I like that you actually put some context to Ruth's steroid abuse in that episode, which is more than the show did!
It should be "padawan". Great line otherwise!
“Hey, Mags,” It’s Puuma Nahasaphemapettilon, waving a five dollar bill, “mom says we can go down to DVD Dormitory and pick up a couple of flicks.”
I think you should have a full stop at the end of the first bit of dialogue, and then make the other bit a new sentence (as in "waving a five dollar bill. 'Mom says we can go" etc.)
By the way, I'm delighted that Maggie has friends among the Nahasapeemapetilon octuplets.
I have a feeling from her tone that she’s made too many recently, or, perhaps, has been trying to free herself from them.
Wonderful.
Very good ending.
Well, apart from the occasional hopefully constructive stylistic remark, I loved this. All the characterisations ring true with the show and are well developed. I was particularly happy about Laura, Janey and Maggie, but there's not one bad one here. The plot is great, the writing is as good as I expect from both of you, but the characters are really what make this fic. So much to love here: Laura's narrating voice, a solid characterisation for Janey (I feel like saying this again: I'm so glad to see a fic where she plays a major role!), the bare hints of tension between Laura and Buckman, Lisa's and Allison's fears of leaving home. Character interactions are great.
Well, it's finished! With the occasional change, this is pretty worthy to be put in the archive. It's pretty much perfect.