Simpson Moon R!

[gkscotty]

Here ya go.

EDIT : Uploaded new version.

[Tony_Baritone]

More nice work, especially the South Park material.  The designs on the sporting goods were wonderfully creepy, and the Rev's punishment was truly wicked.  Laura's video game scene and Minako's with CBG were both fantastic, and the transformation scene was well done.  I'm also waiting for the repercussions of the appearances of the real Senshi.  Keep writing.

[gkscotty]

and the transformation scene was well done.

Uh, if you're confused folks, Tony had a prerelease version. I removed the full-length transformations from this ep, saving them for later.

But thanks for the cool comments Tone.

[gkscotty]

I've probably been a bit hasty in submitting this. Expect a revised version later tonight, once I'm back from work.

[Tony_Baritone]

Uh...actually, I was referring to the scene with Janey...sorry if there was any confusion.  :uhdrop: :uhdrop: :uhdrop: :uhdrop:

[gkscotty]

Oops. :-) Okay, major confusion going on. :-)

[archonix]

It all becomes clear...

Actually I liked that scene as well, and the whole part with the androids dungeon was fun too.

[IDPStan]

Confusion?*casts chaotic commands on Steve*

Eh I'll read it when I get the chance, hopefully the new version will be ready by then.

[gkscotty]

Oh, that reminds me...

New version uploaded, same link as at the top of the page.

[Craig_Fotheringham]

It's looking very good so far, Steve.

[c_nordlander]

Good. GOOD! Lovely and enjoyable humour, everyone's in character, and there's a tasty spice of suspense. Really... it's hard to explain how I feel about this, I must actually have been missing Simpson Moon, and now I'm happy to have another series in front of me. You're doing a great job on this, Steve.

Bits I especially enjoyed were Jessica's good deed and the ref in the scene with Pahusacheta Nahasapeemapetilon [sp?], and of course everything to do with South Park. (The line about throwing [guess whom] out of the window had me laughing out loud.) The ball monsters might well be the most freaked-out enemies seen hitherto... NIFTY! And Minako (even though we haven't seen much of her yet) doesn't annoy me like she did before. Maybe I was too hard on her. (Just a question, though, shouldn't her name be "Aino Minako"? Of course, Lisa might not know that.)

All in all, a very good job. I will follow this as religiously as I did the original Pretty Soldier Simpson Moon.

Great refs to Adam, as well. Good thing the "wallflowers and tramps" got used for something...

[IDPStan]

Comments about Simpmoon R. (Better late than never eh?)

"LUNA (to self) : Brr, what is it with this town? It's always freezing here..."

Yeah, "The sun is shining and the grass is green, under the three feet of snow I mean..." Heh heh.

"LUNA : I have a very bad feeling about this for some reason..."

Heh! Inserting the word very does not make that line ok for use! Cheese man!

"KYLE (laughing) : Hey, if Wendy's sick, maybe this time she'll get to puke all over you!
STAN (annoyed) : Shut the f**k up, Kyle!"

LOL Nice one Kyle.

"STAN (OS) : OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED WENDY!
KYLE (OS) : YOU BAS**RDS!"

DUDE! WENDY IS DEAD! Awww bugger ect.

"Couch Scene - Lisa, Allison, Jessica, Minako and Laura jump onto the couch in that order. They twirl, hold up their brooch/pens and transform in mid jump, so they're in Sailor Soldier mode when they land. Jup-Laura misjudges her jump and her legs hit the back of the couch, sending her toppling head over heels over the back of the couch. A moment later she sticks her head up from behind it, obviously dazed."

LOL Best couch gag ever? Maybe...maybe...

"LISA (VO) : Apparently Luna had got the wrong girls. She took away my brooch and the pens to prevent us trying to fight Beryl, because she knew we couldn't win!"

Ah ha! But they did win..and got killed...then came back to life..because...er..yes..

"It was a little anticlimactic, even for me, but I'm not complaining."

Yeah I mean you get a glorious death in battle...of sorts...*and* you get to live. Does it get any better?

"LISA (OS) : Hey, are you okay? (runs into shot) It almost looked like you had a heart attack there!"

LOL What?! Time is working again in Springfield?*thud*

"ARTEMIS (contempt) : You are not l33t. I shall make you l33t."

LOL Wow just like Largo.

"We eventually got her out of her funk by suggesting that she start studying martial arts for real - she'd previously been going off stuff she remembered her father teaching her."

Ah yes grasshopper, first fill you head with wisdom then hit bricks with it!

"APU (acting stupid) : Oh dear. The cheque has been destroyed. I guess you can't steal it any more.
SNAKE (actually stupid) : Damn, foiled again!
MARS-JESSICA : Well, my work here is done. Bye!"

Riiiiiiiggggghhhhht, I think we need to go back to basic robberies.

"Mars-Jessica pulls a watch out of watch-space. (like hammer-space but for wristwatches) It reads 12:56. She gapes at it."

Watch-space eh? That explains a lot.

"MOE : Yes! Oh yes! Spiritual salvation! I can put that whole Pulver business behind me... the FBI can't pin anything on Moe Syslak! He heh heh!"

LOL I'm not even gonna ask.

"LOVEJOY : That can't be right. Sharks never come this far inland..."

*cough*Freshwater*cough*

"LISA (VO) : Sending her to a Catholic boarding school."

LOL Don't tell anyone and survive school? Heh heh.

"MERC-ALLISON : SHABON SPRAYY!

A thick wet fog descends over the gym. The fourth graders stumble about."

LOL Ah revenge is a dish best served with a smokescreen...er...fogscreen.

"SKINNER (filtered) : Good morning students. This is just a reminder that at lunchtime we will have the final of the school's mini-World Cup out on the field from 12:30. That is all."

Yes and for once there's gonna be some American's in the final!

"BOY : But coach, I'm an American Indian! Why do I have to be on Team Misc?
WILLIE : Ach, I don't know! Don't ask me, ask t' wee nancy boy Skinner. Just pit on this Scotland shirt, and git oot there and play, and be glad ye got to t' finals at all! (sob) Some of us ne'er get a chance to git in t' World Cup ye know. (sniff) 'Scuse me, I got somethin' in ma eye! (runs off)"

Heh cheer up Steve, Scotland are in good company, Holland didn't go this year either.(For those of you who don't know Holland where or are considered to be quite a good team.)

"HOOVER : Does he know his microphone isn't on?
KRABAPPEL : I disconnected it. He'll thank me later."

LOL He sure will, ain't no Motto that's for sure.

"BART : Agh! What the hell?"

Well what's the problem? Kick it!

"BART : Okay, that's it. This'll be the last time you chase a user of Simpson-style Anything Goes Martial Arts! Hiii... yaa!"

Uh oh, I have a bad fee*is shot*

"JANEY : But what? There's nothing we can do! Lets just keep quiet and maybe they'll go away."

Oh really great plan...really great man.

"MOON-LISA : and the Federation Internationale de Football Association..."

Yanks take note, *Football* NOT soccer..Football! Ahem...

"WOMAN : Agh! You... who are you?"

Well duh, their not the ATF are they?

"MOON-LISA (standing, frustrated) : Hey! Come back! What do you mean by all that?
MERC-ALLISON (confused) : Yeah! How can you be Sailor Mercury? I'm Sailor Mercury..."

Well it was only a matter of time before this happened, a good question would be: "And the hell where you lot when the world last needed saving eh?"

"DOCTOR2 : Good, I didn't enjoy throwing that McCormick kid out the window."

LOL Awwww...and that's what you get for privatising healthcare. 'Course, Kenny would die anyway...

So Simpmoon is back, I really enjoyed the line from Kyle about puking. I'm not sure about using the "I have a bad feeling" line, I mean really Steve. Your better than that. (Heh you could acknowledge that it's cheesy.) The couch gag however was right on, one of the best I've seen in fact. Not sure I got the board gag but never mind. The bit with the camera having a seizure or something when Lisa mentions she's older is well funny too, Artemis's use of L337 was quite amusing too. Damn even the cat gets to use leet! (Well ok no ordinary cat.) I all so liked the jokes about Adam Pulver and the Scotland football team. As if that wasn't enough there's Skinner's commentating and the bit about throwing Kenny out the window. It's a good read overall, not perfect but then nothing is.  I have to admit though I'm troubled by the arival of the other Senshi, scrod know what will happen now.

Oh and you wanna know something funny? No? Well I'll tell you anyway, my Wordy Durd spell checker comes up with Pullover for Pulver. LOL

Of course for my name it comes up with Stairway but you probably guessed that.

Uh…bye…

[aoifestorm]

I loved the new script, Steve. Among the parts I enjoyed:
Kyla and Stan in Wendy's house
Apu's scene with Snake and then Sailor Mars, especially the line about "Little Snake"
CBG talking about Minako's help at the shop, and the graph he made
Sailor Mercury's power finally coming in handy with the 4th graders
The mini-World Cup.  The scene with Willie and the Native American kid and then Apu and Sanjay's conversation
The insane sports equipment, and the shuttlecock that terrorizes Milhouse
" In the name of...the Federtaion Internaionale de Football Association.. we'll punish you!"  :D
I thought this latest SimpMoon script was very funny, Steve.  I can't wait until the next part to learn the identities of the mysterious Sailor Senshi. I am glad that you are writing new Simpmoon scripts, so I hope we see the next one soon!

[hadisia]

Too much to say - I love it! Though I do think that to add all the original characters (Usagi-tachi (Usagi and the others)) would be a bit too much, at least if kept a regular thing. Minako's job is great, as is the chart...I just love the while thing!
Oh, and I believe Belldandy's actually Goddess First Class, though I may be wrong. Brain no work now, all fried from TAG camp. In which I lost my glasses and walked right into a parking metre. Shut up, it's not funny.

[Horrorhead]

I enjoyed it very much  !
Very well written and pretty funny.