OPINIONS: "Slurmdog Millionaire"

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Dead Composer
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OPINIONS: "Slurmdog Millionaire"

Post by Dead Composer » Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:51 am

Behold the first chapter of my Slumdog Millionaire parody.  Fry is a contestant on Morbo's game show Cool Million, and is a mere two questions away from winning a cool million.  Morbo, naturally, suspects that Fry is cheating.  The rest of the story will be vaguely similar to the plot of the movie, except without any actual slumdogs.  WARNING: Possible Fry/Leela shippiness.  Or Fry/Amy shippiness.  Or Fry/Mom.  Or no shippiness at all.
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Re: OPINIONS: "Slurmdog Millionaire"

Post by missy_misery » Wed Mar 11, 2009 5:57 pm

Hmm; I like a lot of the Fry POV you've got going on here, DC.  However, I feel the parody element could be played a tad more strongly.  Just keep Fry IC as you've been doing and it should all come out well.
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Re: OPINIONS: "Slurmdog Millionaire"

Post by c_nordlander » Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:27 pm

The title parody is a bit easy, but good nevertheless.

Nice, compelling opening, though for some reason the style feels a bit dry and analytical, given the situation. Might just be me. Fry's thoughts are fairly awesome.
grasping the young man’s chin tightly with his clammy fingers
I think "tightly" isn't needed.

I like the torture joke.

Little to say due to its length, but a good opening, with many neat lines. Please keep writing.
I said: Hey, you! Feed the machine!
Bring them all back down to their knees!
There's no time to waste, remind the slaves
They ain't gonna make it out alive today.
I said: Hey, you! Poison the well!
Watch it all burn, take them straight to hell!
He's got the whole world in his hands
It was nice to know ya
We've all been damned!

-- Poor Man's Poison, "Feed the Machine"