Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1)
Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1)
What do you all think so far?
EDIT: I should point out that Norachai is the Asian 'Superfriend'.
EDIT: I should point out that Norachai is the Asian 'Superfriend'.
Last edited by Craig_Fotheringham on Thu Jan 01, 1970 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
Oh my, yes... I wish *I* could write like this! Beautiful descriptions and quite a real sense of horror. I look forward to seeing more of it. Bart and Lisa seem to be in character, and this *got* to be the first fic (drama/horror fic, nonetheless!) to make serious use of Norachai (was it Report Card?) Bart's nightmare, and the appearance of Voivure had me squirming with aesthetic delight. Keep up the good work, please!
On the downside: it seems to leap into the plot just a bit too quickly, and the thing about mysterious creatures telling ordinary kids they have a destiny to fulfill... well, it's been done. But that's not a major point. Apart from that, nothing to complain about, really.
Just a question, though: have Bart and Lisa aged in this story?
On the downside: it seems to leap into the plot just a bit too quickly, and the thing about mysterious creatures telling ordinary kids they have a destiny to fulfill... well, it's been done. But that's not a major point. Apart from that, nothing to complain about, really.
Just a question, though: have Bart and Lisa aged in this story?
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
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Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
Since the computer I'm on is pretty much buggered, I won't be able toread this until later tonight so you'll probably see me opinionating about it in the chat.
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
I'd read it if it wasn't for this:
Oh, and what does Shota-con mean?
Too bad... i usually like horror stories.Warnings: (not for first chapter) Shounen-ai, slight shota-con, strong language, yaoi, violence, and angst.
Oh, and what does Shota-con mean?
Oh wait, i found it.
Shota-con: A story that revolves around the relationship between a grown man and a prepubescent boy.
I think you posted in the wrong board Craig. FF.net is that way.
Shota-con: A story that revolves around the relationship between a grown man and a prepubescent boy.
I think you posted in the wrong board Craig. FF.net is that way.
Last edited by Marco on Thu Jan 01, 1970 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
The fic is innofensive enough, it's quite well written, if a little short. (and really Craig, you need to work on making better fantasy names! Bodhi Pey-Pey?) But like Marco, I'm alarmed by the warning about "Shounen-ai, slight shota-con, strong language, yaoi, violence, and angst." If these elements are to be a sizeable focus of the story, I'd like to discourage you against posting it here please.
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was Us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do bad things. - Jingo, Terry Pratchett
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
Chapter 1 is looking good. I love your dark fiction Craig, and the mysteries inside them always make me nutty for answers. You leave your readers in a state of anticipation that grows with every following chapter. I can't wait to see more of the Voivure and find out what is going on with Bart.
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
I'm glad you all like the story (it was 'Cosine' btw, Chris). And yeah, I might alter it so that the plot isn't as quick, thanks for that.
EDIT: Oh and no, Bart and Lisa havn't aged.
*sigh* It won't be anything serious, Marco. In fact, hardly anything, don't worry.Oh wait, i found it.
Shota-con: A story that revolves around the relationship between a grown man and a prepubescent boy.
I think you posted in the wrong board Craig. FF.net is that way.
EDIT: Oh and no, Bart and Lisa havn't aged.
Last edited by Craig_Fotheringham on Thu Jan 01, 1970 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
This is interesting so far, Craig. Your descriptions are really good. This also reminds me of how Mel's second RPG started: the characters have strange nightmares, then mysterious beings arrive and take them away to fight evil. Her beings didn't have names or descriptons, though.
"But you can also purify enemies, and convert them to join your side. It's like being a Jehova's witness, except you hand out cans of whoop-ass instead of those Watchtower leaflets."
-- Ian Jones-Quarty, discussing La Pucelle Tactics
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-- Ian Jones-Quarty, discussing La Pucelle Tactics
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"Aye, the Welsh and Gaelic languages are a sight to behold. You have to drink a LOT of magic beer to read them."
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
Oh, and Steve; they won't be.
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
Well yeah, the mysterious beings reminded me of Mel's RPG (that's actually what I alluded to with "it's been done"), but I didn't want to jinx this script by bringing the subject up.
Cosine, indeed? Cool... I always thought it was Report Card, which goes to show that I've been living a lie. Whatever. :) Good thing you're not overdoing the strange things with Japanese names.
Cosine, indeed? Cool... I always thought it was Report Card, which goes to show that I've been living a lie. Whatever. :) Good thing you're not overdoing the strange things with Japanese names.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
Hmm, Report Card was the Indian one, I believe.Well yeah, the mysterious beings reminded me of Mel's RPG (that's actually what I alluded to with "it's been done"), but I didn't want to jinx this script by bringing the subject up.
Cosine, indeed? Cool... I always thought it was Report Card, which goes to show that I've been living a lie. Whatever. :) Good thing you're not overdoing the strange things with Japanese names.
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
BTW, what happened to Skinner's "school with no Asian students" ("Duffless")?
(I hope I'm not dragging this thread away from the subject, Craig. It's just that this discrepancy has interested me for a long time. Also, in "The Principal and the Pauper", I think ReportCard's skin changed its colour to yellow.)
(I hope I'm not dragging this thread away from the subject, Craig. It's just that this discrepancy has interested me for a long time. Also, in "The Principal and the Pauper", I think ReportCard's skin changed its colour to yellow.)
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
The story looks good so far. Granted, the premise is rather old, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. I'm looking forward to the next part.
Well, since Skinner only made that remark in Bart's dream, I think we can ignore it.BTW, what happened to Skinner's "school with no Asian students" ("Duffless")?
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Re: Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1
Oh yeah, it was a dream... good point.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.