Opinions - Tales from the Old World (Chapter 1)

[Craig_Fotheringham]

What do you all think so far?

EDIT: I should point out that Norachai is the Asian 'Superfriend'.

[c_nordlander]

Oh my, yes... I wish *I* could write like this! Beautiful descriptions and quite a real sense of horror. I look forward to seeing more of it. Bart and Lisa seem to be in character, and this *got* to be the first fic (drama/horror fic, nonetheless!) to make serious use of Norachai (was it Report Card?) Bart's nightmare, and the appearance of Voivure had me squirming with aesthetic delight. Keep up the good work, please!

On the downside: it seems to leap into the plot just a bit too quickly, and the thing about mysterious creatures telling ordinary kids they have a destiny to fulfill... well, it's been done. But that's not a major point. Apart from that, nothing to complain about, really.

Just a question, though: have Bart and Lisa aged in this story?

[archonix]

Since the computer I'm on is pretty much buggered, I won't be able toread this until later tonight so you'll probably see me opinionating about it in the chat.

[Marco]

I'd read it if it wasn't for this:

Warnings: (not for first chapter) Shounen-ai, slight shota-con, strong language, yaoi, violence, and angst.

Too bad... i usually like horror stories.

Oh, and what does Shota-con mean?

Oh wait, i found it.
Shota-con: A story that revolves around the relationship between a grown man and a prepubescent boy.
I think you posted in the wrong board Craig. FF.net is that way.

[gkscotty]

The fic is innofensive enough, it's quite well written, if a little short. (and really Craig, you need to work on making better fantasy names! Bodhi Pey-Pey?) But like Marco, I'm alarmed by the warning about "Shounen-ai, slight shota-con, strong language, yaoi, violence, and angst." If these elements are to be a sizeable focus of the story, I'd like to discourage you against posting it here please.

[aoifestorm]

Chapter 1 is looking good. I love your dark fiction Craig, and the mysteries inside them always make me nutty for answers.  You leave your readers in a state of anticipation that grows with every following chapter. I can't wait to see more of the Voivure and find out what is going on with Bart.

[Craig_Fotheringham]

I'm glad you all like the story (it was 'Cosine' btw, Chris). And yeah, I might alter it so that the plot isn't as quick, thanks for that.

Oh wait, i found it.
Shota-con: A story that revolves around the relationship between a grown man and a prepubescent boy.
I think you posted in the wrong board Craig. FF.net is that way.

*sigh* It won't be anything serious, Marco. In fact, hardly anything, don't worry.

EDIT: Oh and no, Bart and Lisa havn't aged.

[Ranman]

This is interesting so far, Craig. Your descriptions are really good. This also reminds me of how Mel's second RPG started: the characters have strange nightmares, then mysterious beings arrive and take them away to fight evil. Her beings didn't have names or descriptons, though.

[Craig_Fotheringham]

Oh, and Steve; they won't be.

[c_nordlander]

Well yeah, the mysterious beings reminded me of Mel's RPG (that's actually what I alluded to with "it's been done"), but I didn't want to jinx this script by bringing the subject up.

Cosine, indeed? Cool... I always thought it was Report Card, which goes to show that I've been living a lie. Whatever.  :) Good thing you're not overdoing the strange things with Japanese names.

[Craig_Fotheringham]

Well yeah, the mysterious beings reminded me of Mel's RPG (that's actually what I alluded to with "it's been done"), but I didn't want to jinx this script by bringing the subject up.

Cosine, indeed? Cool... I always thought it was Report Card, which goes to show that I've been living a lie. Whatever.  :) Good thing you're not overdoing the strange things with Japanese names.

Hmm, Report Card was the Indian one, I believe.

[c_nordlander]

BTW, what happened to Skinner's "school with no Asian students" ("Duffless")?

(I hope I'm not dragging this thread away from the subject, Craig. It's just that this discrepancy has interested me for a long time. Also, in "The Principal and the Pauper", I think ReportCard's skin changed its colour to yellow.)

[Karsten_Thiel]

The story looks good so far. Granted, the premise is rather old, but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. I'm looking forward to the next part.

BTW, what happened to Skinner's "school with no Asian students" ("Duffless")?

Well, since Skinner only made that remark in Bart's dream, I think we can ignore it.

[c_nordlander]

Oh yeah, it was a dream... good point.