Madness

Archonix
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Madness

Postby Archonix » Thu Oct 19, 2006 5:30 pm

If you get yourself in to the rhythm this just about scans to the tune of Lola. No prizes for guessing why I picked that song... :)

Incidentally the code tags are there to preserve the formatting.

Code: Select all

FADE UP: We are in a slightly smokey scene, where our heroes (and villains) are stood semi-silhouetted in a dark grey mist. The light fades up slowly to reveal them, to varying degrees, as they slowly gather together around the thickest part of the mist, where a silhouete of DR GIRLFRIEND is slowly undulating.


         MONARCH

      I met her in a bar down in mexico
      Where you drink cheap beer and it tastes a bit like tequila
      T-E-Q-U-eeeela.
      She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
      I asked her her name and in a deep down voice she Sheila
      S-H-E-I-eeeela She she she she sheeeeila

         VENTURE

      Well I'm not the world's most physical guy
      but when she kicked my head she nearly broke my spine

         MONARCH/VENTURE

      Oh my Sheila, she she she she sheila

         BROCK

      Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
      Why she walks like a woman and talks like a man

      VENTURE          MONARCH
      
      Sheeeila!      Dr Girlfriend!


         MONARCH

      Well we drank champagne and danced all night
      Until that big dick Limb gave me fright
      He picked her up and sat her on his knee
      ANd said-


         PHANTOM LIMB

      Dear boy she must belong to me...


         MONARCH

      Well I'm not the world's most passionate guy
      But when I looked in her eyes well I just had to save my poor sheila!
      She she she she sheila!


         DR GIRLFRIEND

      I pushed you away...


         MONARCH

      I pissed in your yard...


      MONARCH            DR GF

      I fell to the floor      You did what?!?


      MONARCH            DR GF

      I was down on my knees!      I can't believe you
      Then I looked at her       did that. Jeez!
      and she at me...


         Dr GF

      That's hardly the way I wanted to stay
      So I calle the cops to take him away


         MONARCH

      Oh please no my Sheila!


         PHANTOM LIMB

      Jerks will be jerks, and I'll be above
      I'm going to marry the one I love


         VENTURE
      
      She's my sheila!


         MONARCH

      No no no my sheila!


         VENTURE

      Well I had her home just the week before!


         MONARCH

      You'd think you'd never been with a woman before...


         VENTURE

      But I took her heart and I'm all she'll demand!


         BROCK

      Isn't someone gonna say that she's really a man?


      MONARCH          BROCK (SOTTO VOCE)

      Well I'm not the world's    Seriously, that voice...
      most masculine man


      MONARCH            VENTURE

      But I know what I am and   You got that right...
      I'm glad I'm a man!


         BROCK

      And so's Sheila!


      VENTURE            MONARCH

      She she she she       What are you, stupid? She's
      sheeeeilaaa!         all woman!


         MONARCH

      And it's DOCTOR GIRLFRIEND!


DOCTOR GIRLFRIEND suddenly leans forward as a bright light turns on. We find we are in a shower, with steam strategically sheilding most of DR GIRLFRIEND's figure. She glares at the rest of the
cast and threateningly waves a loofa at them.


         Dr GF

      Look, as much as I appreciate this attention
      I'd prefer it if you people all just left me
      alone when I take a shower, ok?


EVERYONE except DR GIRLFRIEND leaves the room


         DR GF

      Thank god for that. Now I can get on with this...


An airing closet cracks open slightly and a glowing eye peers out.


         DR ORPHEUS

      Is it safe to come out yet?


         DR GF

      Yes, yes, it's safe.


         DR O

      Very well, I shall make my reappearance from the
      very DEPTHS OF THE MOST INFERNAL HELL!


         DR GF

      Can you please not talk about the airing closet
      like it's some sort of weird magic place? Look,
      just hurry up, my back needs a scrub.

FADE TO BLACK

         MONARCH:

      What the hell is going on in here!
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
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Re: Madness

Postby Sheana_Molloy » Thu Oct 19, 2006 5:46 pm

*Sheana is snickering like mad
Last edited by Anonymous on Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Madness

Postby Terry Y » Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:23 pm

Zapp Branigan ain't got nothing on you, Graham.

*applauds wildly*
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Re: Madness

Postby Meteorite » Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:37 pm

Ha, that was great!  Well done!
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<gkscotty|drawing> most people play Pokemon games with GameFAQs or a Pokéwiki open
<gkscotty|drawing> you seem to have TVTRopes :P


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Re: Madness

Postby c_nordlander » Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:38 pm

The art of filk is here to stay, it will never die... wrong song.

I love this as much as everyone else here. Brock's little lines are just great.
The noose draws tighter;
This is the end;
I'm a good fighter
But a bad friend;
I've played the traitor
Over and over;
I'm a good hater
But a bad lover.


Elinor Wylie, "Peregrine"
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Re: Madness

Postby aoifestorm » Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:10 pm

I pissed in your yard.  :D
  Hahah, very cute, Graham.
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Re: Madness

Postby Stretch_Dude » Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:37 pm

I laugh with laughter! ;D
I memorized "Holy Grail" really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
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Re: Madness

Postby missy_misery » Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:41 am

*Lulz!*

It's delightful, really.
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