Madness

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archonix
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Madness

Post by archonix » Thu Oct 19, 2006 5:30 pm

If you get yourself in to the rhythm this just about scans to the tune of Lola. No prizes for guessing why I picked that song... :)

Incidentally the code tags are there to preserve the formatting.

Code: Select all

FADE UP: We are in a slightly smokey scene, where our heroes (and villains) are stood semi-silhouetted in a dark grey mist. The light fades up slowly to reveal them, to varying degrees, as they slowly gather together around the thickest part of the mist, where a silhouete of DR GIRLFRIEND is slowly undulating.


			MONARCH

		I met her in a bar down in mexico
		Where you drink cheap beer and it tastes a bit like tequila
		T-E-Q-U-eeeela.
		She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
		I asked her her name and in a deep down voice she Sheila
		S-H-E-I-eeeela She she she she sheeeeila

			VENTURE 

		Well I'm not the world's most physical guy 
		but when she kicked my head she nearly broke my spine

			MONARCH/VENTURE 

		Oh my Sheila, she she she she sheila

			BROCK

		Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
		Why she walks like a woman and talks like a man

		VENTURE 			MONARCH
		
		Sheeeila!		Dr Girlfriend!


			MONARCH

		Well we drank champagne and danced all night
		Until that big dick Limb gave me fright
		He picked her up and sat her on his knee
		ANd said-


			PHANTOM LIMB 

		Dear boy she must belong to me...


			MONARCH

		Well I'm not the world's most passionate guy
		But when I looked in her eyes well I just had to save my poor sheila!
		She she she she sheila!


			DR GIRLFRIEND

		I pushed you away...


			MONARCH 

		I pissed in your yard...


		MONARCH				DR GF

		I fell to the floor		You did what?!?


		MONARCH				DR GF

		I was down on my knees!		I can't believe you
		Then I looked at her 		did that. Jeez!
		and she at me...


			Dr GF

		That's hardly the way I wanted to stay
		So I calle the cops to take him away


			MONARCH

		Oh please no my Sheila!


			PHANTOM LIMB 

		Jerks will be jerks, and I'll be above
		I'm going to marry the one I love


			VENTURE
		
		She's my sheila!


			MONARCH

		No no no my sheila!


			VENTURE

		Well I had her home just the week before!


			MONARCH

		You'd think you'd never been with a woman before...


			VENTURE

		But I took her heart and I'm all she'll demand!


			BROCK

		Isn't someone gonna say that she's really a man?


		MONARCH 			BROCK (SOTTO VOCE)

		Well I'm not the world's 	Seriously, that voice...
		most masculine man


		MONARCH				VENTURE

		But I know what I am and	You got that right...
		I'm glad I'm a man!


			BROCK

		And so's Sheila!


		VENTURE				MONARCH

		She she she she 		What are you, stupid? She's
		sheeeeilaaa!			all woman!


			MONARCH

		And it's DOCTOR GIRLFRIEND!


DOCTOR GIRLFRIEND suddenly leans forward as a bright light turns on. We find we are in a shower, with steam strategically sheilding most of DR GIRLFRIEND's figure. She glares at the rest of the
cast and threateningly waves a loofa at them.


			Dr GF

		Look, as much as I appreciate this attention 
		I'd prefer it if you people all just left me 
		alone when I take a shower, ok?


EVERYONE except DR GIRLFRIEND leaves the room


			DR GF

		Thank god for that. Now I can get on with this...


An airing closet cracks open slightly and a glowing eye peers out.


			DR ORPHEUS

		Is it safe to come out yet?


			DR GF

		Yes, yes, it's safe.


			DR O

		Very well, I shall make my reappearance from the
		very DEPTHS OF THE MOST INFERNAL HELL!


			DR GF

		Can you please not talk about the airing closet
		like it's some sort of weird magic place? Look,
		just hurry up, my back needs a scrub.

FADE TO BLACK

			MONARCH:

		What the hell is going on in here!
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
Sheana_Molloy
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Re: Madness

Post by Sheana_Molloy » Thu Oct 19, 2006 5:46 pm

*Sheana is snickering like mad
Last edited by Anonymous on Fri Oct 20, 2006 1:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Terry Y
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Re: Madness

Post by Terry Y » Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:23 pm

Zapp Branigan ain't got nothing on you, Graham.

*applauds wildly*
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Meteorite
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Re: Madness

Post by Meteorite » Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:37 pm

Ha, that was great!  Well done!
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<gkscotty|drawing> most people play Pokemon games with GameFAQs or a Pokéwiki open
<gkscotty|drawing> you seem to have TVTRopes :P


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Re: Madness

Post by c_nordlander » Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:38 pm

The art of filk is here to stay, it will never die... wrong song.

I love this as much as everyone else here. Brock's little lines are just great.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon


-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"

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aoifestorm
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Re: Madness

Post by aoifestorm » Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:10 pm

I pissed in your yard.  :D
  Hahah, very cute, Graham.
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Re: Madness

Post by Stretch_Dude » Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:37 pm

I laugh with laughter! ;D
I memorized "Holy Grail" really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
- "Weird Al" Yankovic, "White and Nerdy"

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Re: Madness

Post by missy_misery » Fri Oct 20, 2006 12:41 am

*Lulz!*

It's delightful, really.
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