Red_Line is in

Competition threads and announcements will indeed be posted here.
Locked
User avatar
Red_Line
New SNPP Employee
New SNPP Employee
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:29 pm
Location: ~/earth/northamerica/usa/michigan/lansing
Contact:

Red_Line is in

Post by Red_Line » Wed Oct 31, 2007 11:36 pm

Hooray, I'm the first one.  I haven't selected a title yet, but I have picked a couple of beginnings and endings that suggest a story to me.  Now, only 37 days to write it,  Oh, the pressure.  ;)
Archonix
Chief Executive Officer
Chief Executive Officer
Posts: 7509
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2001 12:45 pm
Contact:

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Archonix » Thu Nov 01, 2007 12:31 am

Welcome aboard! Look forward to seeing what you've got for us.

I shall stay out of here until the judging now. :)
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
User avatar
missy_misery
Sector Control Officer
Sector Control Officer
Posts: 2327
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 1:04 am

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by missy_misery » Thu Nov 01, 2007 1:02 am

Ooh, I've read your stuff Red_Line; you're great.  Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
User avatar
Red_Line
New SNPP Employee
New SNPP Employee
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:29 pm
Location: ~/earth/northamerica/usa/michigan/lansing
Contact:

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Red_Line » Thu Nov 01, 2007 1:53 pm

missy_misery wrote: Ooh, I've read your stuff Red_Line; you're great.  Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.
Thanks!  :D 

My working title:  In A Pig's Fry
User avatar
Red_Line
New SNPP Employee
New SNPP Employee
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:29 pm
Location: ~/earth/northamerica/usa/michigan/lansing
Contact:

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Red_Line » Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:37 am

Here is my entry entitled "In A Pig's Fry".

I used:
Fry becomes a guinea pig
A battle over a lava pit
[char] is left holding the baby


I also worked in A mysterious package arrives for [char] into the ending in a minor way.
Attachments
0rl05inapigsfry.rtf.rtf
(64.96 KiB) Downloaded 648 times
Last edited by Red_Line on Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
Archonix
Chief Executive Officer
Chief Executive Officer
Posts: 7509
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2001 12:45 pm
Contact:

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Archonix » Tue Nov 20, 2007 7:34 pm

I'm having a giggle.

I shall say no more than that. :)
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
User avatar
missy_misery
Sector Control Officer
Sector Control Officer
Posts: 2327
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 1:04 am

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by missy_misery » Wed Nov 21, 2007 6:17 pm

I'm grinning ear-to-ear.  This manages to fit the mein of the show beautifully, fulfil the rules of the competiton and make me laugh a lot.
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
Ramon 51
New SNPP Employee
New SNPP Employee
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:52 am
Location: USA

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Ramon 51 » Wed Nov 28, 2007 12:14 pm

I must say, this story could easily be picked up as an episode! Your characterization is flawless, your prose flows freely, and it was darned funny! ;D

You did give a bit away when you dropped the hint that 95% of brain energy was devoted to the Delta Wave...something Fry lacks.  Still, I made the mistake of reading the story while taking a soda break at work.  I snarfed several times.  ;D

All in all, I give it an A++.
User avatar
c_nordlander
Insane Underling
Insane Underling
Posts: 12074
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2001 2:00 pm
Custom Title: Heretics owned through FAITH and JUSTICE

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by c_nordlander » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:22 am

This is the first fic by you that I've read, and your style is very praiseworthy. Some scenes felt a bit, howshallIputit, racy (I'm a bit over-sensitive to that sort of thing), but no worse than the show, and it's actually quite cute. Hilarious ending.
Last edited by Anonymous on Sun Dec 02, 2007 2:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Welcome to our little town
Why don't you settle down?
Here, just fill out the paperwork and you can look around
We work and then we work and then we work and then we work and then we work and then we work
And then we end up in the ground.


- The Stupendium, "The Fine Print"
User avatar
Red_Line
New SNPP Employee
New SNPP Employee
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:29 pm
Location: ~/earth/northamerica/usa/michigan/lansing
Contact:

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Red_Line » Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:33 pm

Many thanks everyone, for your kind comments.  This story was a lot of fun to write and I'm glad you've enjoyed reading it.
JustNibblin
New SNPP Employee
New SNPP Employee
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:50 am

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by JustNibblin » Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:48 pm

And I had a lot of fun reading it.  A lot more light-hearted than some of your other stuff--but it suits you well.  Loved the weapons in this one, and the ending...
User avatar
Kif White
Senior Executive
Senior Executive
Posts: 1402
Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2003 10:20 am
Custom Title: Decepticon Commander
Location: Middle Earth
Contact:

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Kif White » Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:58 am

Finally got around to reading this.

I'll get the negative stuff out the way first. Like Chris said, it's a little on the racy side here and there, and although it's no worse than the show has done, it feels a little... I dunno... tacky somehow. The odd lines feel a little recycled too, particuarly at the start.

That said though, there's a lot of good jokes in here and some neat setpieces and references (I'm always a fan of any joke that puts down Vista). The overall quality of the writing is very good too: you do a good job of writing a comedy fic in prose, something I've never found to be an easy task. Characterisation is solid too, and I like that every crewmember got their moments here and there. Also, as others have said, it has a very funny ending.

Overall, good stuff.  :)
- Kenneth White

"Know the conflict within before facing the conflict without."

Now Watching: Babylon 5 - Season 3
Now Playing: Dragon Age Origins: Awakening, Pokemon Heart Gold
Now Reading: Catch 22
Archonix
Chief Executive Officer
Chief Executive Officer
Posts: 7509
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2001 12:45 pm
Contact:

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Archonix » Wed Dec 19, 2007 5:03 pm

Well for my part I found this one very cute and funny. Others have dealt with the fe negatives so that leaves me to just heap gushing praise upon it. :)

And so I shall.

The implication that Fry knew what he was doing the entire time, that made me laugh. Poor Leela thought he was just being an innocent little critter... ;D
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
User avatar
Red_Line
New SNPP Employee
New SNPP Employee
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:29 pm
Location: ~/earth/northamerica/usa/michigan/lansing
Contact:

Re: Red_Line is in

Post by Red_Line » Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:10 am

What can I say but thank you to everyone for the comments?  So thank you everyone.  :fry

Funny story - one of my beta readers commented on my taking "Fry becomes a guinea pig" literally.  I sat there scratching my head wondering what other possible context it could have, and it was some hours later when it finally hit me that test subjects are sometimes called guinea pigs.  :doh:  Well, I got that too, although by accident.

And lastly, I hope I'm not stealing Graham's thunder by saying this, but I donated the prize money back to the site.    I gotta maintain my amateur status you know.  ;D
Locked