-[char] suffers from a mysterious disease
-Someone gets….. AMNESIA
-A battle over a lava pit
-Zoidberg dies! Or not…
-Everything turns out great
Word Count: 2997
- Sine Wave - Biogenesis.doc
- (53 KiB) Downloaded 577 times
— Piet Hein - Grooks
- Insane Underling
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*The Mayor's aide
Why don't you settle down?
Here, just fill out the paperwork and you can look around
We work and then we work and then we work and then we work and then we work and then we work
And then we end up in the ground.
- The Stupendium, "The Fine Print"
Good luck with your classes!
Did I mention I love your style?
Now I'm off to comment some more on your other story.
Creator of the Waving Universe
Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
- Terry Y
- Senior Executive
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- Location: The Part of New York that's not The City
- Kif White
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- Location: Middle Earth
"Know the conflict within before facing the conflict without."
Now Watching: Babylon 5 - Season 3
Now Playing: Dragon Age Origins: Awakening, Pokemon Heart Gold
Now Reading: Catch 22
Just popping in again. I didn't think this story had one too many of the topic choices "squozen" into it--on the contrary, in my opinion you compressed a lot of detail into there without having it seem overcrowded. As for the abrupt ending, well, we've sort of discussed that, but what I would say is that if you do change anything, don't touch the actual final line; that works perfectly. Only add more detail just prior to that, if you do anything.Lord Kingsley wrote: Ended kind of abruptly and it seemed to have one too many of the topics squozen into the word limits.
On another note, I'd stress again that your understated simplicity in depicting Leela is definitely a thing to be valued. So many writers seem to have a problem in portraying her.
Finally, slightly off-topic in this thread, but I realized that when you eliminated the Irish characters in your other fic, you also took out that line about the Zeno's Paradox playsets that I liked. Aw. Just an observation.
(Not like you don't pack in enough humorous references already).