Prepared to Lose, Captain!!

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missy_misery
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Prepared to Lose, Captain!!

Post by missy_misery » Wed Nov 05, 2008 6:59 pm

'Cause I'm self-deprecatating.  But maybe I shall place this year, we'll see.

Of course, I'm gonna go in for this one - I think I'll be doing a VB-verse story this year.  Vauge idea half-formed, probably to be finished within a week or two.
Last edited by Anonymous on Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

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Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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Re: Prepared to Lose, Captain!!

Post by missy_misery » Wed Nov 12, 2008 8:34 pm

So, here's my selected beginnings, middles, and endings:

Beginnings

Returning from a long journey, they discover everything has changed

Middles

There is a profound need for booze
Everyone hides for a while


Ends

It's thirty years later...

...There's also a tad of "Someone faces up to reality" in the middle, too.  So I might need to narrow this down a tad more, but yeah.  Working title is "Palindrome", and will be a Venture Brothers fic.
Last edited by Anonymous on Wed Nov 19, 2008 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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Re: Prepared to Lose, Captain!!

Post by missy_misery » Wed Nov 19, 2008 5:41 pm

FINALLY edited down my concepts and planning to get a finished version out to beta today - after choosing between "Taps at Revillie" and "Palindrome"....I named the fic "Cedar Tree".
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

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Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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Re: Prepared to Lose, Captain!!

Post by missy_misery » Sun Nov 30, 2008 7:30 am

And thus, we have a finished product:

Cedar Tree: 1/1 PG
WARNING: Character Death
SUMMARY: Brock is called home after Dean's life becomes a troubled one.


ETA: I forgot to mention that this was betaed for me by my erstwile and ever-paitent usual beta, Merc.
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Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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Re: Prepared to Lose, Captain!!

Post by c_nordlander » Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:41 am

Belated review, but I went to my family home over Christmas and left this review back in Manchester. So here goes:

Typo: I'm fairly sure it should be HELPeR, not HELPer, and it's spelled “leukemia”.

It's hard to say anything about this fic, because I love it all. You (and Graham) basically provided me with the first-ever Venture Brothers fanfics I've read, and I'm glad it's so amazing. Sorry to gush. Everyone's perfectly in character, but I'm particularly impressed with Triana: as one of the more normal and subdued characters, she must be harder to get right than the others. I'm happy about how strong and successful she seems in the future. Brock and Dean are spot-on, too.
Spoiler
The central tragedy brought me pretty close to tears. The writing is as great as yours always is, with beautiful descriptions. There are hints at a much larger continuum of events outside of the main plot (from the haunting opening scene to the various hints of what the other characters have been up to), and I particularly love
Spoiler
Oh well, I just love it all.

Not many downsides, but for the sake of justice: while the writing is great, it very occasionally seems to tell rather than show (e.g. adverbs that aren't really needed, like “dramatically”). Your writing is good enough to stand up on its own. Also, while the plot is resolved, its ending (as opposed to the epilogue) feels a bit truncated, though that might just be me.

OK, I'll gush. Excellently written and characterised, tragic and redemptive. I'm finding new things to praise about it even as I write. So my score: A
Last edited by Anonymous on Thu Jan 15, 2009 2:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Prepared to Lose, Captain!!

Post by missy_misery » Wed Jan 07, 2009 6:57 pm

Chris - as always, your reviews are awesome:

Argh, I can never seem to correctly parse out HELPeR's name.  Paying attention to the actual anagram and what it stands for might be helpful *groans*.

Thanks for catching the Leukemia misspelling - will be fixed in the ultimate draft.

Argh - I do get adverb heavy, don't I?  I'll keep that in mind for future drafts as well.

This fic started out with an easy question - how would Brock come back into the boy's lives after quitting the mayhem surrounding them?  Would it be an easy transition?  What could change his rock-solid resolve?  I'm glad you found it to be so emotionally entrenchant :) 
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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