"Loved Bones" script

[Dewey Finn]

The first two acts are finished and I'm working on 3rd act now (I know how the story will go, I'm just writing dialogues and stuffs now) It's also my second attempt of writing a complete script.  Constructive criticisms are welcome

Chalkboard Gag:
Mrs. Krabappel did not say 'Let them eat cake'

Couch Gag:
The family sits, and it turns out that they sit on whoopee cushion and makes big fart sound

Act 1

(OPENS in Simpson living room; the scene turns to 1 year old baby Bart’s view and his view shakes as he tries to walk his first step; a happy faced Marge appears in his view)

MARGE
(Astonished) Oh… Homey… look! (Points to Bart) My Barty—he’s about to take his first step!

(Bart’s view suddenly stops shaking as Bart finds a balance on his legs and succeeds to take his first step)

MARGE
(Happy tear starts to roll down; lifts Bart) Aw, who took his first step? (Tickles Bart; he gives a little squeal of joy) Oh, my little brittle Barty took his first step! Oh, yes he did—

(Homer then appears to baby Bart’s view)

HOMER
(In a Krusty the Clown’s voice) Hey hey! It’s 7 AM, time to wake up! Hey hey--

BABY BART
Huh?

(CUT SCENE to Bart’s room; Bart then wakes up and lifts himself from the bed violently as if he had a nightmare; he then mumbles, shakes his head and presses on the snoozer button of the Krusty alarm clock)
(As he presses the snoozer, blood squirts out of his hand)

BART
(Takes off his hand from snoozer) Waaaughhh! What the hell!??

(Bart then takes a look at the blood-drenched snoozer; there is a sharp tack taped on the top of snoozer that Bart pressed his hand against)

BART
(Holds his bloody hand with the other hand; groans angrily) Just what is this all about?

(FLASHBACK to the day before; Homer and Marge are seen inside the kitchen, discussing)

MARGE
Okay, so I’ll go to the post office tomorrow to apologize on what you’ve done to that poor mailman Jack

HOMER
I swear, I thought he was a pork rind man! (Takes out a ripped newspaper page) See, I ordered a bunch for yesterday and I was expecting those! Well, y’know how I go without those (Gets into dreamy tone) sweet, greasy, meaty, saliva-inducing pork-rinds… (drools and gaggles)

MARGE
(Waves her hand for attention) Alright, alright. The next thing I want to talk about is that—our Bart seems to get out of the bed later than usual lately. I mean, today is the 8th consecutive day that both kids were tardy because of him—

(Suddenly, a loud and angry groan is heard from Lisa’s room)

MARGE
—and Lisa is going absolute nuts right now!

HOMER
Ooh, now there’s a problem that I can solve! I know this trick that my dad did on me that really worked! Sure, I became tardy of the next 82% of the school days after then, but it was hella better than being tardy for school in 83% of the time before

MARGE
I certainly hope that it is a humane plan, Homer

HOMER
Yes… humane…

(CUT SCENE to the present; Bart is seen holding his bleeding hand on the bed)

BART
What a way to start this--

(Suddenly, as he tries to stand up, his foot accidentally slides on the floor; causing him to slip; his head crashes against the edge of the wood on the bed structure and it starts to bleed)

BART
Waaauuughh!!!

(CUT SCENE to 2nd floor bathroom; Bart is seen taking a shower with a worried face expression; his hand is seen bandaged)

BART’S BRAIN
Something is wrong, but don’t worry—I’m sure it was just a fluke accident.

(Bart then stops the water, reaches for the towel outside of the shower curtain; as his bled hand reaches for it, the bandage gets caught by the edge of the wallhanger and gets stripped out of his hand; his scar gets jammed on the pole; Bart screams and accidentally slips on the bathtub, falling head-first outside of the tub)

BART
(Groans)… not my day. At least I’m not bleeding this time—

(Bart then looks at the blood on the floor—his head is bleeding again)

BART
D’oh!

(CUT SCENE to breakfast table; Bart is seen bandaged on his head and hand, Homer is seen reading a newspaper and others are seen eating)

BART
(Uneasy tone) I think that I’m plagued with bad luck. Mom, can I skip school today so I don’t have to take the risk of dying?

MARGE
Oh, don’t be silly Bart! You just have to be careful and less clumsy, that’s all.

HOMER
Yeah, I don’t believe in this luck mumbo-jumbo. Remember that time when Lisa told me not to buy 13 lottery tickets just because it would bring bad probability of me winning?

LISA
You didn’t win at any of those!

HOMER
And it’s all because of you!

LISA
You know, this luck and curse and… all those things are proven to be easy to be debunked, but I feel so worried about Bart today. I mean, I’m not a doctor or psychologist, but his lack of confidence and the physical disadvantage due to wounds could negatively affect him and there’s a higher probability of ‘bad luck’ happening in conditions like—

HOMER
Aw Lisa, you think too much! Just like this guy on the newspaper here! (Reads out loud an excerpt) ‘Man’s Head Explodes in Subway—

BART
Oh wow, can I read?

HOMER
Hrrmph! No way (Continues to read) ‘—yesterday in Springfield Subway Station, a 35 year old man—

(As Homer continues to read, the scene shows Bart in disgruntled manner; Bart then suddenly snatches the newspaper, but unfortunately, he gets a paper cut and starts to bleed)

BART
Ahhhh!!!

HOMER
(Surprised; staring at Bart) Wauuughhh!!

(The scene now shows Lisa; she looks very worried)

(Suddenly, a phone next to fridge starts to ring; Marge gets it)

MARGE
(On the phone) Hello… umm hmm… (Surprised) Oh…. Oh… okay, then… thanks for the notice, goodbye… (Hangs the phone up) Well it looks like the school’s out for some reason.

BART
(Gives a sigh of relief)

(CUT SCENE to interior of school building; two inspectors in germ-free suit are seen running in the hallway)

INSPECTOR 1
So this one idiot let the influenza virus grow on the beaker and didn’t kill them after the experiment?

INSPECTOR 2
According to that geeky principal, yes.

(Suddenly, as they run into another block, they see that the wall and the floor of the hallway has turned green and the color continues to expand across the hallway)

INSPECTOR 1
Oh my god! Run for your life, Kyle!

(They both run away; soon, Ralph, who is covered in green, appears walking towards the exit)

RALPH
I’m being eaten!

(CUT SCENE to Bart’s room; Bart locks the door and blocks it with the chair. He then sprays the letter ‘Keep Out’ on his window reversely; he then takes the icepick, holds it into his mouth and takes out the bat, holds it and gets into the attack position)

BART
(Nervous) Okay, I could count infinity four times or go back into time and cause Miley Cyrus or any other kind of impossible crazy things—but nothing will break this blood streak today—I can feel it.

(Suddenly, a doorbell sound is heard; Bart turns his head as a reaction; the icepick accidentally slips down to his tongue—causing it to bleed)

BART
(Frustrated; with his tongue out) Aw dwis suon ov wuo—

MARGE
(From the living room) Bart, your friends are here!

(Bart tries to talk, but he can’t due to the pain of bleeding tongue; silence follows for few seconds as Bart gives a distressed look)

MARGE
(From the living room) Alrighty then, I guess you don’t have any complaint about it!

(CUT SCENE to outside of Kwik-E Mart; Bart is shown wearing a bullet-proof vest, hard boots, hard cap, shades, shin guards and neck brace)

MILHOUSE
What do you mean you guys don’t wanna share money to buy the new gigantic squishee?

LEWIS
Well I ain’t paying. It’s just uh, my lunch money and my mom’s not paying me more.

MILHOUSE
Well, we aren’t in school today, so how about sharing today’s lunch money? What about you, Bart? It seems that you have brought some money to use just in case you’re about to bleed to death while you’re next to the pharmacy?

BART
(Sighs) How can one be nerd, stupid, neurotic, lactose intolerant and stupid at the same time?

MILHOUSE
Huh?

BART
I’m saying that you’re stupid for saying those mean stuffs to me! I mean, with a luck I'm having today, I could get my head chopped off just by standing next to uh, Apu

NELSON
Do you have money or not?!! Well, I know Milhouse ain’t gonna ask any for me, so do you?!! (Nudges his fist at Bart)

BART
(Nervous) Um, well, uh.. how about this? We could play hide-and-seek and whoever gets found first will pay the entire price!

(Others boys takes a glimpse at each other at uncertainty)

MILHOUSE
Well that’s not something that would be said by someone who’s scared about unexpected misery

NELSON
(Turns to Milhouse) Well, you wouldn’t! I like Bart’s idea as long as I’m the one who finds either of you, ‘cus, you know, I’m not paying!

(CUT SCENE to few minutes later; Nelson is seen blocking his eyes with his arms while other kids wander around for a place to hide)

NELSON
Alright, you creeps! I’m gonna open my eyes in the count of 50!

(Other boys give a sigh of relief)

NELSON
(In a super fast pace) Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineteneleven—

(Others gasp in surprise and start to run to find a place)

(The scene now follow’s Bart’s trail; Bart wanders in nervousness; behind the Kwik-E Mart, he suddenly sees a big dumpster)

BART
Well, I won’t be bleeding in there… unless there’s a sharp object inside—

NELSON
(from the different side of Kwik-E Mart building) fourtyeight—(Gasps and breathes in some air)—fourtyninefifty! Alright, I’m coming, you twerps!

BART
Eeep!

(Bart then struggles to fit himself into the dumpster hole; he successfully gets inside and shuts the gate)

BART
Heh heh heh… (Hears Nelson’s footstep going away from the dumpster) now that Nelson’s away from here, I just gotta relax until (Sniffs the odor) ughhh… this is making me… dizzy… hey, at least I’m not bleeeeeediiing….

(The scene shows exterior of dumpster; Nelson seems to have heard Bart’s voice inside the dumpster and approaches to it)

NELSON
Ha! I gotcha (Tries to open the gate but it seems locked and he can’t open it) Oh, the hell with this (Punches the gate hard; but the gate is solid as Nelson doesn’t get anything but bruised fist) Oww! (He then takes a discarded wooden stick nearby and repeatedly swings at it; in its last blow, the stick breaks off and bounces off to Nelson’s face) Oww! Screw this, I’m off to find another weenies

(The scene now shows interior of the dumpster; Bart is seen with his eyes almost closed, skin turning green and shriveled; while crawling desperately to the gate, he vomits twice)

BART
Must… keep… going—

(As soon as he’s under the gate, he grabs it with his last strength; but he collapses to the floor without any consciousness; he is dead)

(CUT SCENE to few minutes later; Nelson is seen holding Milhouse upside down on his leg and beaming Lewis is seen trotting along with them)

LEWIS
Now we gotta find Bart!

NELSON
(Still ticked off that he couldn’t open the dumpster gate) Bart’s outta here man, I know it

MILHOUSE
Uh, then how do you know if he’s gone without finding him?

NELSON
How about if I take another five bucks and rip your dearly pocket?!!

MILHOUSE
No! Please don’t destroy my pocket!

LEWIS
You mean you still have picture of Snow White in your pocket?

(Nelson puts his finger into Milhouse’s pocket to examine)

MILHOUSE
No!! Please don’t—

NELSON
Hey! What do you know—he glued that picture on his pocket!

(Milhouse groans in shame)

(All of sudden, the sky becomes dark with clouds, the thunder noise is made and it starts to rain heavily)

LEWIS
(Points to Kwik-E Mart) To the Kwik-E Mart!

(CUT SCENE to interior of dumpster; the scene shows Bart’s dead body and an amorphous being starts to rise from his body; it’s his soul; it starts to float)

BART’S SOUL
(Realizes that he’s “awake”) Uh… huh? Hey, I’m awake and this dumpster doesn’t stink anymore! (Realizes that he’s “flying”) And I can fly! Coooool!

(As Bart’s soul floats, it bypasses out of the dumpster)

BART’S SOUL
Huh? What kind of supernatural junk is this? I guess I can go through that building where only adults can enter next time! Then I’ll finally see why they can barely stagger out of the building—

(Bart’s soul then touches his supposedly wounded hand; he feels no pain at all—in fact his other hand get go through it)

BART’S SOUL
(Suddenly nervous) This is getting weird; and how far am I supposed to float? It’s thundering and I don’t want to get fried—

(Bart’s soul then looks up and realizes that there is a halo above his head; Bart’s soul’s face gets pale as he realizes something; he realizes that he’s dead)

BART’S SOUL
(Numb) I’m… dead???

(The scene now hits dramatic notes as it drastically zooms into Bart’s stupefied face; silence follows for few seconds)

END of Act 1

[Dewey Finn]

Act 2
(OPENS in the sky; Bart’s soul tearfully and desperately fight against the anti-gravity and pull himself down to the Earth)

BART’S SOUL
(Tearfully) Please! (Tries to snatch his halo, but his hands go through his halo) I have too much to live for! I have yet to drink mixed liquor drinks and meet Chris Farley! Please let me down!

(The scene shows Bart’s soul closing up to the cloud)

BART’S SOUL
(Gets his hands together as if he’s praying) Dear Jesus, if you can let me down to the Earth, I swear, I’ll catch those kids who, uh, pees outside of the toilet in the church bathroom! Please! If that doesn’t satisfy you, I can blow them up in the canon—

(But it’s too late as Bart’s soul already reaches to the level of the cloud)

(The scene now shows the view of heaven on the cloud; in front of the big gate that says ‘Bienvenidos al Cielo (Tomorrow—in Zulu!)’, there is a big line waiting to get in while a bald and bearded man examines each soul and writes something down as he goes over them)
(The background now plays “Heaven for Everyone” by Queen in a light volume)

BART’S SOUL
(Bewildered) This could be… heaven? But… but… (Breaks into tears) I… want to—go down! (Cries some more; then suddenly lifts his head) I think I’ll get in line

(CUT SCENE to few minute later; Bart’s soul is seen lined up with other souls to get into the heaven’s gate; in front of Bart’s soul, there is a teenage girl’s soul)
(Bart’s soul still looks sad; a teenage girl up front notices his sadness and turns around to talk to him)
(The music ends)

TEENAGE GIRL’S SOUL
(Gives a little pat on Bart’s shoulder) Hey cheer up, little man, I’m sure things on Earth will take care of themselves and we’ll be just fine

BART’S SOUL
How are you so sure? It’s not like you can’t die twice in your life or something

TEENAGE GIRL’S SOUL
I’m sure you’re not the only one who feels that way. Have you read Gulliver’s Travels?

BART’S SOUL
You’re asking me about… what?

TEENAGE GIRL’S SOUL
Oh, it’s just a book about some guy travelling to different places and such. One day, he becomes a giant, and then later, he becomes a midget

BART’S SOUL
Big deal; if I wanted a transformation story, I could just buy a Japanese robot anime DVD’s

TEENAGE GIRL’S SOUL
(Stares at Bart for few seconds; gives him her hand) My name is Melissa—or I guess I can say that I was Melissa—Melissa Rossi

BART’S SOUL
(Looks bewildered) My name is… uh… Bart, Bart Simpson. (Silence for a second) We just met and you held my hand?

MELISSA’S SOUL
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, is it? I mean, we’re God’s people and it’s good to embrace ourselves regardless of… anything

BART’S SOUL
Heh, well… (Gives a nervous sigh)

BART’S SOUL’S THOUGHT
She’s another church weirdo—even worse than Ned Flanders! Oh gawd, please don’t let me see her anymore—

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Give a little laugh) I can see why you want to avoid me here, Bart. God bless this person named Ned Flanders—I’m sure his actions that bugged you were all misunderstood. (She then gives another pat on his shoulder) You’ll understand it later unless he’s a pedophile

BART’S SOUL
…you can listen to what I’m thinking of??

MELISSA’S SOUL
Sure! In fact, you can listen to what I’m thinking right now!

BART’S SOUL
Lemme hear it! (Silence for few seconds as Bart’s expression changes from curious to astounded) I hope you weren’t serious about it…

MELISSA’S SOUL
(In a playful voice) Oh yes, I was!

(CUT SCENE to few minutes later; Bart is seen standing next to the bearded admissions person; he is seen writing with a gigantic feather-pen on a papyrus)

ADMITTER
Name?

BART’S SOUL
Bart Simpson, man

ADMITTER
And… how old?

BART’S SOUL
Ten

ADMITTER
(In a spookier tone) Lastly… do you think you deserve to be in heaven?

BART’S SOUL
(Gulps) Well, (Hesitates) I once donated my blood to a dying old man—

ADMITTER
(Interrupts Bart) Then, welcome aboard!

(Admitter then pulls off a white dress from thin air and hands it to Bart)

ADMITTER
Alright Bart Simpson, wear it; it’s a dress code. Oh, and by the way, your current clothing will automatically disappear when you get into the gate, so, I suggest you wear it now!

BART’S SOUL
But I thought God himself didn’t like Adam and Eve wearing clothes! I mean, wouldn’t people be much happier if we just could live naked?

ADMITTER
Yes, but, well, after all these profane use of nudity that people have done over the years—such as, y’know, I’m hearing that sex is marketable these days—so he kinda changed his mind. (Points to the gate) Now go before the old man behind you falls asleep

(CUT SCENE to few seconds later; Bart’s soul is seen degraded in his white dress; as he walks, he sees other souls playing around, resting, talking jovially or eating happily)

BART’S SOUL
I can understand that this is heaven… but I don’t really feel good here!

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Shouting) Hey Bart!

(Bart’s soul then looks over where she called him; he sees that she is seen with dozen other kids’ soul of his age and some teenagers’ soul; Bart then sighs and starts to walk to the direction with morose attitude)

MELISSA’S SOUL
Hey, come here and relax. We’re just introducing ourselves to the ones that have arrived shortly before us.

LITTLE KID’S SOUL 1
Hey, I’ve been here for fifty years!

BART’S SOUL
(Gives a nervous laugh) Well, I’d love to sit and chat, but… I’m just too… (Breaks into tears) no—

(As Bart’s soul cries more; Melissa’s soul hugs him, gives a little kiss, and pats him on the back)

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Sympathetic tone) There, there, Bart. We all know your pain… but it’s going to be alright—

BART’S SOUL
(Still tearful and delirious) How do you know? I thought I’d never say this—but I miss Homer (sniffs), mom, Lisa, Maggie and everyone that I didn’t have chance to—

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Interrupts Bart) Say farewell, I know. (Kneels down and faces Bart’s soul) I didn’t get to say my farewell to my family in orphanage when I was… (Ponders, then gets into gloomy expression) sorry, I don’t feel like telling my death story now

BART’S SOUL
I suffocated inside a dumpster, what about you?

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Hesitates) Well, um (Hold’s Bart’s soul’s hand and leads him to the group) you know, why don’t we get acquainted with our new friends in this blissful heaven?

(CUT SCENE to the Simpson home; Marge is seen weeping and squeezing a tear-soaked hanky of hers; Homer is seen wiping his tear off his eye; Lisa is seen crying on the kitchen corner, facing the wall; Chief Wiggum is seen consoling Homer and Marge while Lou and Eddie are seen writing something down at their note)

(Scene turns to Lou and Eddie’s note; they are playing tic-tac-toe on it)

CHIEF WIGGUM
Now, don’t you worry, ma’am, mister and… (Turns to Lisa)… miss… we’ll find your son’s body as soon as—

(Marge cries harder after hearing the word ‘body’)

LISA
(Still in tears) That’s a horribly arbitrary thing to say! I know it, Bart isn’t dead—he’s just missing, not knowing where to go, he’s alive—

HOMER
Yeah, why are you saying it’s over without even knowing how Bart looks like?

CHIEF WIGGUM
Excuse me? Heh, we do know what he looks like! (Takes out a photo from his pocket; it’s not a picture of Bart; it’s a picture of Fat Albert)

MARGE
I’m sorry, but that’s not my—(Gets emotional and breaks down once again) son—

(Marge falls into Homer’s arms; Homer consoles her)

LISA
(Hands Bart’s picture to Chief Wiggum) Here’s my dear brother; a big overbite that made the hiss that we miss, the spikey hairs that I miss seeing how finicky it looked, his—

EDDIE
Alright, knock it off, Amy Dickinson

LOU
(Turns to Homer and Marge) First of all, we’ll need his sperm and urine sample or hair for his DNA. Got any of those?

HOMER
Uh, no. Especially not the first one! I could probably find the third on trash can or something

CHIEF WIGGUM
(Sighs) Well, then it’s going to take awhile without the samples

MARGE
(Still in tears) Why would you need DNA samples just to find my little Bart? (Wipes tears) I thought you’d only need those just for illegitimate child cases and murder cases! This is just finding a missing child!

LOU
Madam, there’s more world inside the police station than you’d know. Sorry, but public education doesn’t give everything away!

MARGE
I was once a cop!

EDDIE
Heh, a female cop. I guess it explains a lot why you don’t know about the procedures

(CUT SCENE to TV; it’s showing Channel Six News with Kent Brockman and he is seen delivering news)

BROCKMAN
(Gives a little laugh)… and that’s how all the nudists in this town were all cleared. In the gloomier side of news, a local boy named Bart Simpson, aged 10, has been missing for 2 days so far.

(The TV screen now shows the picture of Fat Albert that Wiggum showed to Homer and Marge; the caption says ‘Filed from Police’)

BROCKMAN
According to his close acquaintances, aka school friends, he has been missing while playing hide-and-seek near Kwik-E Mart! Here’s what one of his friends has to say—

(The TV turns to the interview scene with Nelson Muntz; but Nelson’s face is censored and so is his voice by the studio effect; his name is listed as ‘Norris Auf Der Maur (Pen Name)’)

‘NORRIS AUF DER MAUR (aka NELSON)’
(Changed voice due to studio effect) Yeah, it was all s*** and giggles until one of our friends decided to be a jerk and go too far and got lost. But if he’s dead, I better get some from his inheritance, haw-haw!

(CUT SCENE to heaven; Bart’s soul and Melissa’s soul are both seen sitting with other souls of young people; suddenly, a soul of a woman joins the group)

(The woman’s soul looks to be of someone’s of early 40’s, she wears glasses, short hair, and friendly visage)

WOMAN’S SOUL
Hello, everyone! My name is Kimberly Barbieri and I have been assigned to moderate and lead your group! (The scene turns to Bart and Melissa, who are listening to here; Bart is still seen degraded) For those of you don’t know me, I was 41 when my husband slit my throat back in 1979. Well, I see an interesting people in this group today! I’ve seen some of you in the past—(Waves to a particular soul) oh yes, I remember you, poor Susie Salmon...

(As Kimberly’s soul speaks, Bart starts to murmur out some words in sadness)

BART’S SOUL
(Murmuring) I don’t want to be here… I was born so beautiful… but now I’m just ugly… a bit of me rots here everyday—

(Kimberly’s soul hears Bart’s soul’s murmur)

KIMBERLY’S SOUL
Tsk, tsk, I hear your agony, young boy. What is your name…?

BART’S SOUL
(Raises his head slowly) Bart Simpson, ma’am.

KIMBERLY’S SOUL
(Gives an ‘ahem’) I can see why you’re upset, little boy. I remember my first day here—crying after crying after crying over my poor children. But guess what—you can see your loved ones on the Earth by peeking down in the edge of the cloud! I now can see my son practicing law in Buffalo and my daughter working for this exquisite restaurant that they call ‘Hooters’!

BART’S SOUL
Wait—let me get this—so I can see my family doing stuffs in the Earth? Ay carumba, praise Jesus!... but they still miss me…

MELISSA’S SOUL
But you’re still alive in their heart. And eventually, you’ll encounter them here in future.

KIMBERLEY’S SOUL
(Turns to Bart’s soul) She’s right, you know. (Turns to Melissa’s soul) What is your name, sweetie?

MELISSA’S SOUL
Melissa Rossi, ma’am.

KIMBERLEY’S SOUL
Alright, you two are going to share a room in the dormitory over that cloud (Points to the cloud on the right) since I figure that Melissa will be an excellent teacher and mentor for Bart—for his sake of getting adjusted to heaven and enjoy his eternity here.

BART’S SOUL
(Under his breath) Oh great, I get to live in heaven with my entitled big sister…

(CUT SCENE to police office; Homer, Marge and Lisa are seen frantically running into the police station; after they slam the door, they face Chief Wiggum)

MARGE
Is it tru—you really found our Bart?

CHIEF WIGGUM
Oh yes, congratulations ma’am! Thanks to our breathless work, we managed to capture him alive and put him behind the bars—

HOMER
‘Behind the bars’? What, is Bart a criminal or something??

CHIEF WIGGUM
Well, to be frank, I don’t think he was willing to get back to you guys—and he almost killed us, so we had to bring our best forces to take him down!

LISA
(Worried ) Uh, oh

(CUT SCENE to a prison room; a gigantic man who resembles Fat Albert is seen rattling the cage while the Simpsons family shake their head in dismay)

FAT ALBERT LOOK-ALIKE
(Angry) I done told y’all that I’m nobody’s son! Now, get mah innocent ass outta here—

MARGE
(Hopelessly) Chief Wiggum, didn’t I tell you that my son is not Fat Albert??

CHIEF WIGGUM
(Stubbornly) Why are you telling it now? We already spent 400 thousand bucks on his capture! And ever since we put his picture on TV, everyone’s been finding for your son—so congratulations!

MARGE
Why, it’s the decisions like these that waste those precious money and effort without any accomplishments in the end!

LISA
--and I gave you his real picture that time you came to our house!

CHIEF WIGGUM
… what picture?!!

(Suddenly, Bart’s picture falls out of Wiggum’s police hat)

LISA
(Points to the fallen picture; in irked tone) That picture, Chief

CHIEF WIGGUM
(Picks up the picture; examines it) Why, it’s that kid who stole my last ‘Crystal Buzz Cola’ that I’d have had! Ohh boy, you don’t forget thay dirty little face like this. (Turns to the Simpsons) You see?? You should’ve told me about this kid last week when I was there! (Gives a nervous laugh; the Simpsons give a very stern look at him) Heh… uh… we’ll continue the search

FAT ALBERT LOOK-ALIKE
Hey you the-last-hair-on-chinny-chin-chin! What about me here?!! I mean—I’m getting my freedom f***** without any justice here!

CHIEF WIGGUM
(Opens the prison cage door) Yada yada yada, whatever, I’m sorry. You’re free to go

(Fat Albert look-alike then runs away out of the police station)

FAT ALBERT LOOK-ALIKE
(In the front office) Yoink!

EDDIE
Hey, my gun!

(CUT SCENE to the dorm; both of them are seen opening the door, and walking into it; Bart’s soul is seen disgruntled and lowly while Melissa’s soul looks cheerful, as always)

BART’S SOUL
No offense, but heaven really stinks than how I imagined! At least I can prank Skinner from the sky, heh heh heh

MELISSA’S SOUL
Um…. Prank?

BART’S SOUL
(Irked) Don’t you get it? I mean, if I just can see my family over hear, I can probably throw a stone from here and make a gigantic dent on Skinner’s car!

(The scene shows confused yet relaxed-looking Melissa’s soul)

BART’S SOUL
(Sighs) You don’t get it…

MELISSA’S SOUL
Maybe it’s because we don’t really know each other well. How about we go outside together get some milk and honey?

BART’S SOUL
Eh, my dad already has that John Lennon album

MELISSA’S SOUL
I meant it by the food they serve here—just like in the ‘Promised Land’ that’s shown in the Bible!

BART’S SOUL
Ugh, I came to heaven and yet get another encounter with Bible—will it never end?

(The scene turns into the musical montage as the song ‘Splitting Game’ by Snow Patrol plays on the background)
(Melissa’s soul picks a bit of the cloud and throws it to Bart’s soul for fun; Bart’s soul then picks up another one and throws it to her and cackles like a hyena; ergo, the diverse throwing exchange of cloud causes ‘cloud fight’)
(The scene now shows Bart’s soul getting prepared to throw a dart; he throws; and the scene shows Bart’s soul’s dart hitting right on Devil’s eye on its picture; other souls who watch Bart’s soul clap for him)
(The scene turns to the cloud where Melissa’s soul and Bart’s soul are both seen playing air hockey; Melissa’s soul wins and as they get prepared to play another set of game, Jimi Hendrix’s soul and Benjamin Franklin’s soul are seen waiting for their turn impatiently)
(The music ends; Melissa’s soul and Bart’s soul are now seen lying relaxed on the cloud)

BART’S SOUL
(Sighs happily) Actually Melissa; that was a good fun. I guess I learned why that they call this place ‘heaven’, not ‘hell’. (Realizes something) Hey, I just thought about it, why don’t we see our family down in the Earth at that edge? (Points to the edge of the cloud)

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Suddenly gets pale and slightly nervous) Uhh… yeah, sure. Why not? I mean, I’m sure we have (Gives an awkward laugh) some killers—(Corrects herself) I mean loved ones!—to see down upon, y’know?

(The scene shows Bart’s soul’s surprised and wide-eyed expression for a second)

(CUT SCENE to the out of the dorm on the cloud; both Bart’s soul and Melissa’s soul are seen walking to the edge of the cloud)

MELISSA’S SOUL
So, who are you trying to see down there?

BART’S SOUL
My body, my family, my chums… (Bart then imagines every Springfield bowing down upon his tombstone and mourning and crying) ah, I can’t wait to see them… what about you?

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Nervous) Well… I guess, my orphanage?

BART’S SOUL
Oh right, you told me that you’re from orphanage, (Sighs) I feel sorry for you

MELISSA’S SOUL
Well, I feel blessed (Sighs and gulps) to be in the Springfield orphanage where they could teach me the courage to be here. Not that I’m teasing you or anything…

BART’S SOUL
Oh, I’ll get over it

(When they get to edge, they both sit on their knees and crouch over to look down upon)

BART’S SOUL
(Gulps) Well, here goes nothing.

(The scene now turns to Bart’s soul’s view; Bart’s soul turns his view to the dumpster behind Kwik-E Mart where he died; the garbagemen are seen taking out the trash and putting them into the truck; they are now seen examining Bart’s body)

GARBAGE MAN 1
Oh crap, what the hell is this?

GARBAGE MAN 2
(Takes a big look at it) Damn, given that the skin is green and the eyeballs look inflated; I guess it’s one of those fake rubber human junks.

GARBAGE MAN 1
And it’s kinda covered with damn puke! (Sniffs at it) A real puke!

GARBAGE MAN 2
Just put it inside the damn truck

(Garbage man 1 throws the body into the truck; as Bart’s body lands, a ‘crack’ noise is heard on his arm)

BART’S SOUL
(Looking down upon heaven) Oww, that would hurt. So I’m gonna be buried in some garbage pile, at least my barebones can creep some sucker out (Cackles) Oh, yeah…

(Bart’s soul then turns his view to his house; he turns his view on Lisa’s room; Lisa is seen writing something on a piece of paper with tear on her eye; suddenly, she cries even more and covers her face with her hands)

LISA
(Tearful; the scene zooms in on to her face as her words go on) Oh, Bart, please come back! We are all frightened and sad! If only we could hear your pleas--

(Lisa goes on to cry more; Bart’s soul gets struck with melancholy and backs out of the view)

BART’S SOUL
Geez, I wish there was a way I could make her feel better about it… but how it happen without her knowing that I’m dead? Melissa, I have a question!

(There is no response)

BART’S SOUL
… Melissa?!! (Turns his neck around to see her)

(Bart notices that Melissa’s soul is gone)

BART’S SOUL
Melissa?

(CUT SCENE to interior of the dorm; Bart’s soul, seeking Melissa’s soul, opens the door)

BART’S SOUL
Melissa, are you here—(Gets surprised) What the—

(Melissa is seen crying on the corner)

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Tearful) Oh poor Pinky, poor Pinky—

BART’S SOUL
Melissa, what’s going on?!! Who…is Pinky and why are you so sad? (Under his breath) Well I thought I would be the one who’d cry after seeing down to Earth, but—

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Stops crying; wipes her tears) Please… excuse me… but—I never wanted to do this but… now that it had come to this, I guess I have to tell you my death story

BART’S SOUL
It had come to what?

MELISSA’S SOUL
Sorry… I now don’t know what the heck I’m talking about… anyway, it all started from the point where I was exactly 1 year away from separating away from Springfield Orphanage Center for college, which would be 6 months ago

(The scene now shows the depiction of Melissa’s soul’s death story as flashback as she does the commentary)

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Voice of the background) Before the Junior Prom for my high school that our orphanage sponsors, I had a boyfriend named Geoff Lorrimer—we’ve known each other since his parents died years ago.

(The scene shows Melissa leaning on Geoff; they are both shown studying on the couch in the middle of busy orphanage living room)

MELISSA’S SOUL
Later, I learned that Pinky, the autistic guy who has gotten a lot of cold shoulders in our orphanage, had a crush on me.

(The scene shows Melissa and Geoff walking inside the orphanage building with their hands held together; Pinky is seen standing on the corner of the hallway, wanting to get Melissa’s attention; but as Melissa walks with Geoff past by Pinky with even making an eye contact with him, Pinky’s eye starts to fill with tears and he whimpers)

MELISSA’S SOUL
Ever since then, it really broke my heart every time I saw him getting depressed over… me

(The scene shows Melissa feeling shame after hearing Pinky’s whimper)

(The scene turns to inside the high school auditorium during the Junior Prom)

MELISSA’S SOUL
So during the Junior Prom, I was determined to be with Pinky just for a moment; I had nothing against Geoff yet, I just felt it was right thing to do

(The scene shows Melissa encountering well-dressed Pinky and holding his hand; Geoff looks dumbfounded and angry)

GEOFF
What the hell do you you’re doing?

MELISSA
Oh sorry, Jeffrey, but… can I dance with Pinky just for one song?

(Geoff glares at Melissa as if he has become her enemy and gives a big ‘hrrrmph!’)

MELISSA’S SOUL
That was shocking to me… it felt like everything I knew about forgiving, nice, and altruistic Geoff had fell apart into my perceived memories. From that point on, he acted as if I had no life outside of just… being together with him! He never let me eat alone, he’d never let me talk with other boys and hell, he once tried to follow me into the bathroom; it was evident: he was not a loving and faithful gentleman that I once knew; he transformed into the form of a selfish, bratty and pugnacious beast. Then one day… I decided to fight against him

(It’s a late night and no one’s on the orphanage building hallway; Melissa slaps Geoff on the face)

GEOFF
You—just made a hell of a mistake, bit—

(Melissa slaps another one on Geoff)

(The scene now returns to present on the heaven; Melissa continues to tell the story while Bart is seen listening to her)

MELISSA’S SOUL
And then—he dragged me into the abandoned room and violated me and tried to force me to make love with him—(Sniffs and cries some more)

BART’S SOUL
If he tried to make love with you, then you could’ve just gave him few smoochies and buzz him off… at least in my opinion

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Wiping her tears) No—sorry, but it’s more complicated than that—at least you’re only 10, right now, it’s not worth to know all these stuffs. Anyway, after that incident I… (Blushes) became pregnant!

BART’S SOUL
Shouldn’t have let him kiss you that much!

(The scene turns to flashback of Melissa’s soul’s story; she continues to make a commentary of it)

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Background voice)…but it was not until after a month when Geoff started to notice I was pregnant. I have already decided to forgive Geoff for the sake of my baby—but he didn’t, in fact, he decided to wipe off the evidence of the existence of his wrongdoing

(The scene shows Melissa reading quietly on her desk; Geoff, with big bags under his eyes and messy hair, approaches behind her with a blindfold and etherized handkerchief)

MELISSA’S SOUL
And then he—(She trembles)—he—

(The scene turns to the present; Melissa’s soul’s words after this point are not heard to the audience, but as Bart’s soul hears Melissa’s soul latter words; he gives a shocking expression and hangs his head)

BART’S SOUL
I’m… sorry, Melissa. I cannot help but believe this…is true

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Starts to become delirious) And I just saw under the heaven that they arrested Pinky instead of Geoff away! They—they are gonna charge him for double homicide (Weeps and falls into Bart’s arms; Bart, seemingly sorry for her, pats her on the back)

BART’S SOUL
I’m sorry for your grim history before coming to heaven, but—I don’t understand why you were so cheerful and nice to me when we just met in heaven and… I mean, you are a really nice person and I would’ve never thought of things like these

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Wipes off her tears; sniffs) Thanks for your appreciation, Bart. To be frank, I was sad and melancholy… until I saw you—I realized that other souls like you—are just as saddened as I was. And as a former part-time Sunday school teacher in cathedral, I wanted to soothe your mind and your spirit--

BART’S SOUL
(The scene zooms in on him as he rants) I know I’m thankful for it, but there was no reason for you to ditch your real feelings just to make me feel nice about myself! I mean, (Corrects himself) let me rephrase that—if it weren’t for you, I would be lost right now! You made me happy here; so don’t let yourself down—you’re a wonderful person! (The zoom-in stops)

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Sniffs; looks down on the ground; shaky tone) Th-thanks-s, Bart.

(Melissa’s soul then falls on the dorm floor and starts to sleep; Bart’s soul takes a look at her in a sad glance and kisses her on the cheek lightly; he then struggles to lift her and manages to put her on the bed; the sad music tone follows and the screen fades out)

END of Act 2

[Dewey Finn]

Alright it's completed

------------------------------
Act 3

(OPENS on a flower ground; Lisa is seen skipping with bunnies, ponies, raccoons and other furry animals and enjoying the moment)

LISA
(Hides her eyes; Takes out a book from thin air) Ah, what book would it be for today? (Opens the eye; gets disappointed) Uh, “Yes, I’m Dead” by—Bart Simpson???

(Suddenly, Bart’s soul appears in front of her; with a snap of his finger, the flower ground atmosphere turns into blacked out space of nothing; Lisa starts to float in the air just like Bart’s soul)

LISA
(Gets surprised) Bart?!! Is it you? Am I dreaming?

BART’S SOUL
(Smirks) As a matter of fact, yes

LISA
Oh no! Now that I know that this is a dream, I cannot help the urge of awaking!... (She sees that she’s not awaking) Never mind, I guess I’m too tired to wake up now…

BART’S SOUL
Lisa, what you’re dreaming is not an accident—I came here to tell you that I’m… dead

(Lisa then gasps)

LISA
Please tell me this is a joke! Please tell me you’re not Bart! (Shakes her head to wake up) Arrrgghhh!!! (Lisa hangs her head; looks woeful) I guess I can’t wake up now (A small tear drops from her eye) But… why?

BART’S SOUL
It’s a complicated story—I mean—I just suffocated inside a Kwik-E Mart dumpster. But don’t bother finding for my body since some garbagemen took it away. I guess I’m gonna rot in garbage pile in that gigantic dumpster in—

(Lisa then falls into tears; Bart then tries to console her)

LISA
(Tearful) I just… wanted you to be alive… oh Bart, is there anyway that you could come back?

BART’S SOUL
Come back? Oh no—(Stops as if he senses that he’s upsetting Lisa)—I mean, Lis, I’m in heaven right now, and the place lives up to its name value! Should you know what you’re missing?—it’s to be feel loved all around! I don’t know what to say to you—either wish that you’d reach there as soon or late as possible.

LISA
Well… (Sniffs) I’m at least glad that you’re in heaven… but Bart, can’t you at least be willing to give another shot as yourself in the Earth? I mean, you were only ten and had at least 6 times more of that to live for!—Well, at least by American age standard. Right now, I’m saddened that your potential of being a person whom everyone needs is broken into pieces…

BART’S SOUL
Just when did you start to think highly of me? Ever since I ‘went missing’? Look, Homer foretold that I’ll be a male stripper in the future; I was once gonna be a cop, but that dream shattered also; academics? I’m an abortion when it comes to grades—I even fail open-textbook tests! I cannot play football nor soccer not even baseball! So, what good am I gonna be, huh?

LISA
I am sorry that you think that way—especially about yourself. If you’re good enough to be in heaven, you must have done something very good! ‘Pride’ might be one of the seven deadly sins, but you have to admit that you’re not an underachiever for eternity, Bart!

BART’S SOUL
Oh hell, now you want me to sin, don’t you?

LISA
No! It’s not like that… it would only be a sin if you went something like uh…

BART’S SOUL
(Still disgruntled) Be an internet phenomenon just by doing something stupid?

LISA
If it takes a pride to do that, of course! But get this: some great people such as Albert Einstein or Thomas Edison were just as underachieving as you were!

BART’S SOUL
If they were underachievers, then how come I never had an opportunity to hang out with them after school? I mean, Nelson needed a new punching bag after all

LISA
Bart, they are—

BART’S SOUL
(Interrupts Lisa) Lisa, nerds are not only variety that he picks on. I swear, he’ll pick on anyone reeks of sweat. You’re lucky that you’re a girl—you guys always smell like fruit-flavored bubble gums

LISA
(Sighs) Never mind… anyway, what should I tell to mom and dad? They’ll be crushed!

BART’S SOUL
Awnno, just enjoy the ride and let the police find the truth. Well, I have to go now. Chris Farley show in central cloud is in 2 minutes!

(Bart’s soul starts to fade away from the scene)

LISA
(Desperate tone; reaching out her hand) Bart, wait! Don’t go now! Please!

(The scene show Lisa starting to cry; Bart’s soul then reappears)

BART’S SOUL
(Sighs) …what is it? (Notices that Lisa is crying) Oh… I know Lisa, I know. I’ll say hello to Bloody Gumbo Murray—

LISA
(In tears) It’s Bleeding Gum’s Murphy!—(Hugs Bart’s soul) And—please don’t leave! I want to see you—please! I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me! (Falls her head to Bart’s soul’s chest, but unfortunately for her, Bart’s soul is transparent and Lisa falls through him and is now seen crying while floating upside down)

BART’S SOUL
(Feeling sorry) Oh geez… Lisa, if I have to go, don’t cry… If I have to go, you will get by… Someday you’ll follow me… and see me on the other side… (Snaps his finger and disappears)

(After Bart’s soul snaps his finger; Lisa’s dream atmosphere returns on serene grassland with furry animals and the book)

(Lisa looks around the atmosphere and continues to cry; a deer nearby starts to chew up her book)

(CUT SCENE to Homer and Marge’s bedroom; both are seen sleeping while Lisa’s somatic weep is heard out of their room; Marge wakes up after hearing her cry)

MARGE
(Wakes up) Ohh…. (Taps Homer’s shoulder) Homey, Lisa is crying… (Taps harder) Homey?

HOMER
(Wakes up) Uh… wha? (Hears Lisa’s cry) Eh, she must be dreaming about marrying Milhouse again. They’ll be gone by the time she hits puberty

(CUT SCENE to heaven; Bart is seen smirking and worn out in the dorm after laughing hard from Chris Farley show)

BART’S SOUL
(Smirking; amused tone) I always wondered what Chippendale dancing was and he just nailed it! God, that was funny…

(Melissa’s soul then joyfully gets into the dorm)

MELISSA’S SOUL
Guess what?!!

BART’S SOUL
That in the land of the skunks, he who has half a nose is king? (Laughs)

MELISSA’S SOUL
Kimberly will request the Lord for my baby’s soul to grow and born here!

BART’S SOUL
Your baby? Holy Shnykees!—I mean, that’s great news, Melissa! When is the baby due?

MELISSA’S SOUL
Oh, (Gives a delightful squeal) I don’t know… if God gives the permission today, probably in 7 or 8 months or so! I know it takes time, but God does not approve of early birth after seeing that some couples try to give birth too soon and end up killing the poor babies

BART’S SOUL
What are you going to name him?

MELISSA’S SOUL
Oh, I don’t know… if it’s a girl, I could name her ‘Lisa’—

BART’S SOUL
The world doesn’t need another Lisa! (Shudders) For your information, she’s my nerdy sister who doesn’t really believe in God—she believes in (Makes a quote-unquote finger sign) ‘mighty’ power of Buddha

MELISSA’S SOUL
I guess she had a reason to change her faith, God bless her… anyway, when if my baby is a boy—well, I don’t know… (Ponders for a minute) you know what, Bart? I’d be glad to name him after you.

BART’S SOUL
Woah, cool! After all these days of Homer not letting me name the pets after me—I finally have someone named after me!

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Smirks) Unless if it’s a baby girl

BART’S SOUL
Then you could name her ‘Bartha’ or ‘Bartina’.

MELISSA’S SOUL
Meh, I like ‘Lisa’ better…

BART’S SOUL
Lisa… Lisa… (Shakes his head lightly) oh, please

(CUT SCENE to Lisa’s bedroom; Lisa is seen writing a diary report with nervous face)

LISA’S DIARY
(The diary is narrated by Lisa’s voice on the background) Dear Diary, I’d love to talk to you about the update on my effort of placing a vegetarian meal on the cafeteria and my grades, but I had a truly bizarre yet telling experience last night. Bart, my dearly departed brother, appeared in my dream and told me… that he was dead (The tone turns tearful) Oh, diary, I’m in such a denial, please let it be false!—Please let that nightmare be just too much soymilk I drank before the sleep! But… I can’t help but believe it is true… why… oh why??? Oh, diary, what should I do? Bart told me to wait until they find the truth—no, in my opinion, it’s better to let him rest in peace under the ground rather than being rot on the garbage land! That’s it, this is just between you and I, diary—I’m going to find his body and rest him under our backyard! Sadly… tha—that’s the only thing I can do for him…(Gets tearful again and her tear drops on the diary page)

(CUT SCENE to Springfield dumpster yard; it’s late night; Lisa is seen wearing a small note, a pen, a magnifying glass, a hand-held flashlight and a big blanket)

(The scene shows Lisa wandering around the dumpster while the song ‘Axel F’ by Harold Faltermeyer plays on the background)

(When she turns around a giant dump pile; she hears a footstep from the other side of pile; she gets scared and gasps and hides under her blanket; it turns out to be Cletus, who is holding a dead pig on his arms; he throws it to the other dump pile)

CLETUS
There ya go! (The dead pig lands, or crashes to the pile) Hopefullay, yeh’ll be one helluva dawg food there (He then whistles and strolls away)

LISA
(Under the blanket; watching Cletus walking away) …dog food…???

(Suddenly, a beer bottle falls from the top of the giant dump pile and hits Lisa’s flashlight; the flashlight turns on and the light shows a giant sign on the Springfield dumpster wall that says “Sponsored by Krusty’s Acme Dog Food Factory!” with a giant picture of Krusty and a dog eating his brand of dog food)

LISA
(Gasps) Oh my God…! They—they are going to turn Bart into a dog food! No, I can’t let them! (She then gets up frantically and resumes her search)

(CUT SCENE to few minutes later; Lisa is seen walking around cautiously with her flashlights on)

LISA
(Holds her nose) Phew! I guess I can imagine what Bart had to go through in that dumpster…

(Lisa then sees something through the light; the scene shows a giant truck come towards Lisa’s view; Lisa then jumps to the left to avoid being hit; she ends up being jammed to the garbage pile)

LISA
(Sniffs) Ugh! The icky garbage juice… (She then turns around and looks at the truck; the truck has the exact image of ‘Krusty’s Acme Dog Food Factory!’ advertisement on the wall; it’s a dog food factory truck) Oh dear…

(Two truck drivers come out of the truck mumbling; Lisa then hides herself nearby under the blanket)

TRUCKER 1
Eh, why do you insist that we have to get the junks in this late night?

TRUCKER 2
Cause no one will know about our motive, stupid! Krusty said that things that differentiate human food and dog food are the amount of garbage it contains—so he then told me that one package should include about 10 beer bottles, 3 broken tables and about 20 others that make their own juice. It’s as simple or as complicated as that—

TRUCKER 1
Heh, sucks to be those suckers who live on the street who think that dog food are as good as human food! When will they learn about hierarchy of nature? Humans are always on top!

(Both then laugh and gather some garbage)

(The scene turns to Lisa, who is hiding under her blankets)

LISA
(Cringes) Ohhh, poor Santa’s Little Helper—I guess we have no choice but to buy organic foods for him from now on…

(The scene turns to one of the truckers, he is seen putting junks into his plastic bag)

TRUCKER 2
Roadkill… (Puts it in his bag) dead pig… (Puts it in his bag) ‘Gigli’ promotional poster, ugh! (Rips it apart and doesn’t even bother putting it into the bag) Wait a minute… what’s in there? (He pulls out human-leg out of the pile; it’s week-old corpse of Bart) Eww! What the hell is this??

TRUCKER 1
It’s a… body of some sort! Let me see! (He takes out a needle, and pokes it on the arm; it bleeds) It’s a corpse alright

LISA
(Under her blankets; Gasps hard) Oh my God! It’s… it’s Bart!

(The scene now shows Bart’s corpse; it’s skin is partially green and shriveled; Flies fly all over his body; His right arm is broken and crooked; his t-shirt and pants are torn and covered in old vomit)

TRUCKER 1
Should we just keep it here?

TRUCKER 2
Hey, remember what Krusty said?—“Don’t work with dignity!” So, we might as well as put this one in the bag (Puts Bart’s corpse inside the bag)

(Lisa then jumps out of her blanket and runs towards the truckers)

LISA
(Frantic) No! Don’t take the body! It’s my brother!

TRUCKER 1
(Turns to Lisa) Who the hell are you? Ooh, ‘tis ‘Little Miss Icky’! Hey, we are supposed to work without any dignity here, so I don’t give a rat’s ass on whose brother it is!

TRUCKER 2
(Pumps his fist) We made a big catch here and we’re not gonna give it up just because of you, twerp!

LISA
(Kneels down) Oh, please for the love of—

TRUCKER 1
(Takes out a shotgun) Get. Out!

(Lisa then backs away slowly and disappears from truckers’ view eventually)

(CUT SCENE to few minutes later; the truckers are seen stuffing the garbages—including Bart’s corpse—into the back of the mobile; Lisa is seen hiding on the other side of the truck, waiting for them to get into the driver’s seat)

TRUCKER 2
(Talking to trucker 1) Hey, I got two tickets for Madonna concert next week, wanna come? I’ll bring tomatoes

TRUCKER 1
Sure! (Both get into the driver’s seat)

LISA
Ooh, Madonna! I mean, I have to find Bart back in there!

(Lisa then runs to the back of the truck; as she reaches there, she tries to open the door on the back of the truck; as she succeeds to open some parts of it after the struggle, the truck starts to move forward)

LISA
(Surprised; hangs on the door) Wooaaahhh!!! (She then places her feet inside the load and regains balance; she then closes the door, turns on the flashlight and starts to search for Bart’s body) C’mon, Bart, where are you? (Gets into desperate tone) Please, I want you to rest in our cozy backyard, not in some dog’s stomach! (She kneels down and cries over the thought)

(Suddenly, as flashlight falls down, the light directs right to Bart’s corpse)

LISA
Bart! (Approaches to the body; hugs it) Ugh, you smell like a rotten—no, I can’t say it about you, hold on Bart, I’ll take you to your loving home (Gives a nervous laugh while holding tight on his body)

TRUCKER 1
(From the front seat) Do you hear something on the back?

TRUCKER 2
(From the front seat) Eh, the dead pig must be alive now; let’s just shoot it when we stop

LISA
(Gasps) Oh no…

(Lisa then opens a bit of the back door; she is greeted with furious outside breeze due to the truck’s high speed riding; she is instantly scared of the thought of landing out of the high-speeding truck also)

LISA
(Desperate) Oh, I can’t jump out now… but when??

(CUT SCENE to the heaven dorm room; a serene music is heard in the background that would facilitate souls to stay asleep; Melissa’s soul is seen sleeping on her bed while Bart’s soul is wide awake)

BART’S SOUL
(Blank tone) Again… this is heaven… I’m supposed to be happy for eternity… but… why can’t I… sleep?

(As Bart’s soul gets reminded of the name ‘Lisa’ her words that he heard in her dream starts to be heard in his mind)

FLOATING LISA HEAD 1
(The screen shows it floating around Bart’s soul’s head) If you’re good enough to be in heaven, you must have done something very good!

FLOATING LISA HEAD 2
(Also seen floating around) … but you have to admit that you’re not an underachiever for eternity

FLOATING LISA HEAD 3
(Also seen floating around) …is there anyway that you could come back? ... Please don’t leave! I want to see you—please!

FLOATING LISA HEAD 4
(Also seen floating around) Hydrofluoric acid can dissolve glasses!

(All four Lisa heads now speak in tandem; Bart starts to look anxious, nervous, frantic and worried; he then runs out of the dorm)

BART’S SOUL
(Kneels on the ground) Why can’t I stop thinking about it? Why? You know what?... I’ll just see how she’s doing down in the Earth… then everything will be fine! (Gives a nervous laugh and runs to the edge of the cloud to peek down)

(CUT SCENE to few minutes later; Bart stares down to see Lisa; the screen now changes to Bart’s view; a tense music plays on the background)
(Bart starts to look down upon the Earth; he suddenly gets shocked to see Lisa holding his body inside the dog food factory truck)

BART’S SOUL
(Gasps) Lisa, no!

(The scene now shows the truck stopping in front of the Krusty’s Acme Dog Food factory; Bart sees Lisa hiding inside a giant plastic bag; one of the truckers opens the door behind and aims the shotgun at something)

BART’S SOUL
(Frantic) No, please don’t shoot Lisa, please don’t!

(The trucker pulls the trigger; it hits a dead pig)

TRUCKER 1
(From the Earth) It’s dead for sure now!

BART’S SOUL
(Slightly relieved) Oh…

(The scene shows both truckers carrying trash bag into the factory; the scene now shows the interior of one of the bags; Lisa is seen frightened and scared as she holds Bart’s body while herself is getting soiled with other trashes inside the bag)

BART’S SOUL
(Frightened) Ahh! What am I gonna do? (Desperate) What am I gonna do???

(Suddenly, Kimberly’s soul and Melissa’s soul are seen running to agonizing Bart)

KIMBERLY’S SOUL
Bart Simpson, are you alright?!!

MELISSA’S SOUL
Wha—what is with your sister—oh, I see it

BART’S SOUL
What the—(Dumfounded) How did you guys get here? And Melissa, how did you know that—

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Interrupts Bart) Oh, you know, I can read your mind! And, just to remind ya, so can you! She’s in—dog food factory of some sort, according to your memory

BART’S SOUL
Oh…

MELISSA’S SOUL
When you got out of the dorm, you slammed the door just a bit loud—loud enough for me to wake up and see what’s up with you. After seeing that you were worried about your sister—Lisa, I believe—so I called Mrs. B and ran up here so we could talk it over. Well, apparently, Lisa’s in a grave danger now

BART’S SOUL
(Folds his hands together) Guys, I know this could be an impulse decision and I may regret it… but is there a way for me to go down to Earth and get a second chance for my life?

KIMBERLY’S SOUL
Now, just a second boy--

BART’S SOUL
Sorry, but I have more to say. For some reason, (Hesitant) my sister’s words from her dream spoke to me at my heart—I can be someone whom everyone needs in the future and I can start it now! And even though I don’t become one… well… couldn’t I at least become a person that my sister needs immediately right now? She’s down there, helpless, frightened and scared--scared so much that even her brain can’t save her now—if God can allow me to be Earth for enough time for me to save Lisa, I’d be a happy soul in heaven.

GOD
(Appears out of the thin air) And I will!

(Others turn around, become stunned to see God and gasp)

BART’S SOUL
Oh my—I mean—ay carumba! (Gets scared; kneel down) So, will you please send me down to Earth, oh merciful Lord?

GOD
(Totes his beard) You know, Bart. I have known you in many reputations that my people down in Earth have talked about—things such as ‘menace’, ‘American bad boy’, ‘human nuclear bomb’ or ‘that boy who kills flowers’ has brought me an impression that you are not a fine person; I just don’t even know how you were allowed in heaven, boy!

BART’S SOUL
Heh, well, that admitter surely was—

GOD
Silence! Anyway, if Kimberley hadn’t assigned a deserving and complete human like Melissa to guide you, I wouldn’t have had even a second thought. (Turns to Melissa’s soul) Melissa, you did a find job of making Bart Simpson a better human!

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Kneels down; nervous tone) Lord… I am honored, but to be completely honest—I had participated nothing—on Bart’s epiphany and repenting; he all did it by himself, so therefore—we must give him the credit. He even alleviated me of my woes, so please consider Bart as a better and lovely person… (Hesitant) Lo—Lord

GOD
(Tries to say something, but gives it a second thought) I see what you are going at, Rossi. If that is true, I hereby say that Bart Simpson—deserves return to the Earth and—another chance for full life

BART’S SOUL
(Jumps in triumph) Yes! (Kneels down to God) Thank you so much, God. Oh, bless you, bless you, Lord—

GOD
(Interrupts Bart) There, there… I get many of that from those (Makes ‘quote-unquote’ finger sign) ‘faithfuls’ yet they sin everyday expecting me to forgive them… (Sighs)

(Melissa’s soul then embraces Bart’s soul while Kimberly’s soul puts her hands on their backs)

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Gets tearful in happiness; Sniffs) Well Bart… I guess this is the end for us

BART’S SOUL
Oh Melissa, not yet… someday I’ll come here, follow your way… and see you on the other side… Gotta admit, that this heaven—really is a heaven—well, sans the BB guns and Krustyburgers, but anyway…. I’ll miss you, Melissa.

MELISSA’S SOUL
Oh, I’ll miss you too, Bart!

(They both hug each other tightly again)

KIMBERLY’S SOUL
Gang, I’d hate to break up the mood… but… Bart, I think you have to check on your sister—

BART’S SOUL
Oh no, I forgot! (Jumps to the edge and peeks down)

(The scene now shows the plastic bag that contains Lisa and Bart’s body in the factory machine; the machine is seen directing the bag and several other bags to the ‘grating’ machine—the machine is seen with numerous amounts of automatic slicing knives that are being worked in furious pace; to make matters worse, Lisa is seen fainted inside the plastic bag without acting any resistance against the machine)

BART’S SOUL
(Gasps) Oh no, I have to save her right away! (Turns to God) God, please send me down to my body now! (Turns to Melissa’s soul and Kimberly’s soul) Again, it’s been nice knowing you guys so far!

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Solemnly with some tear on her eye) Bart?

BART’S SOUL
Yes?

MELISSA’S SOUL
(Cries little more) Please—please save poor Pinky, could you? And—please find my body and—(Falls her head and cries more) release me into the ocean, into the blue, serene wa—water (Sniffs; Hugs Bart once more) Th—thanks…

GOD
(Pats Melissa’s soul’s back) There… (Turns to Bart) Now, boy, be ready—I’ll just remove a halo over your head and you’ll be in your body in no time and—mark my words (Slow music is now being played on the background): Lead a good life knowing that you’ve been given your second chance in your life. Given that you became a better person here, I can trust you on the bet that you’ll be even better. Now, go boy (Snaps his finger)

(Immediately after God snaps his fingers; Bart’s soul’s halo disappears and he starts to fall down to the Earth in rapid speed)

BART’S SOUL
(Falling down) Waaaaauuuuuugggghhhh!!!!

(Bart’s soul then nears the dog food factory; he sees the bag containing Lisa and his body is nearing the grating machine)

BART’S SOUL
(Frantic) Ho—Hold on Li—Lisa—I’m coming!!!

(Bart’s soul then crashes into his own damaged body and Bart himself regains the consciousness just in nick of time and tears apart the trash bag)

BART
(Still green, shriveled with broken arm and covered in vomit; sniffs the air) Am I—am I alive???

(Bart then turns around and realizes that they are both about to be chopped by the grating machine; he then grabs Lisa and furiously jumps out of the machine; they both land on the factory floor; Lisa wakes up)

LISA
(Grabs her head) Ow… my head (Opens both her eyes and realizes that Bart is alive) Bart--?? Is it—is it you???

(Bart then nods and smiles at her)

LISA
(The vivace music plays on the background) Oh, my prayers have been answered! (Hugs Bart) Oh, I missed you, missed you, and missed you so much! I just—

BART
(Pats her on the back) Oh, Lisa, I’m… I’m just glad that I could save you. Y’know, now that I’m given a second chance—

LISA
Who cares about second chance when you are alive?!! Woo! Ha—(Realizes that she has let herself go too much) Oh, (Timidly) excuse me… (Giggles nervously)

(Bart’s stomach gurgles)

BART
(Painfully) Ohhh, I haven’t eaten a bit for more than a damn week—can we go home now? I need some grubs, Lis!

LISA
Sure! (Looks at Bart’s broken right arm) Aw, and you’re hurt also! May I offer you a piggyback to home?

BART
Nah, I’m alright…

(The scene now show both of them walking out of the factory; it’s a late night and there are bright stars in the sky)

LISA
(Looks up to the sky) Look at all those stars…

BART
(Looks up to the sky) Yes… stars…

(As Bart looks up, he gets reminded of Melissa; some tear appear on his eyes then)

BART
(Sniffs) I’ll… miss you Melissa…

(The scene now shows the aerial view of them going away; now it turns to the dark sky)
(CUT SCENE to 8 months later; the text appears on the bottom of the screen reading ‘8 months later’; The screen now shows a bright and windy sky with seagulls flying; it’s the ocean)
(The scene now shows Bart—who now looks like his normal self—with a small jar that contains Melissa’s ashes while Lisa follows behind him; they both stop at the highest rock in front of the ocean)

BART
(Looks up to the sky) Well… it has been hard 8 months, Melissa… (Raises his voice) Melissa, Pinky is found innocent!

LISA
If only the juries believed your story it would’ve been much easier, but at least the truth came out, right brother? (Pats Bart on the back)

BART
Thanks, sis… (Turns to the sky) Anyway, the truth is in, and they finally—(Hesitates and gets tearful)—finally—found—your body—(Breaks into tears; hangs his head and cries some more; Lisa then gets next to him and pats him) I’m so sorry, Melissa—but it was just heartbreaking—(Sniffs) If you want to know about my sister—yes, she is well. But I gotta confess—not that I’m alive again, I find it really hard to be a person that everyone needs—

LISA
Oh Bart, I told you several times—that it doesn’t come easy!

BART
(Peeks at Lisa; turns back to sky) Anyway, I’m so glad that the things are well—and I hope you’d too! How’s your baby? Is it Lisa or Bart? Or… I guess I can find out about it years later when I’m there again… so—(Hesitates) I’ll—release you to—the nature! (He then struggles to open the top of the jar)

(Bart then succeeds to open the top of the jar and Melissa’s ashes are released into the air; but due to the heavy wind, the ashes fly in varying direction in reminiscent of the scene from ‘The Big Lebowski’; Bart and Lisa get cover from some ashes)

(As Bart finishes releasing the ashes; he stands still like a statue; he then cries and breaks into tears and falls onto Lisa; Lisa stands still for few seconds then pats and consoles Bart)

LISA
(Pats Bart softly) There, there, my big brother… I’m sure Melissa is watching down upon you happily, thinking that you’ve done your job…

BART
(Wipes some tear off his face; sniffs) Th—thanks, L—Lisa…

(They then start to walk away from the ocean; the scene now shows the rear aerial view of their walk)

LISA
So, again, how do you feel about ‘being a better person’, Bart?

BART
Oh I dunno… it’s pretty much like eating a ginseng-flavored candy or something—the taste sucks, but it still is a candy

LISA
How does that make sense?

BART
Oh Lis, you think too much… just see me, leading a carefree life after back in the Earth…

LISA
But you gotta live up to God’s expectation someday—if you really made that promise… and if you really met God, in spades

BART
(Voices start to fade away as they start to disappear from the view) Can I just play around until I’m thirty and become mysterically smart after then? Just like that Norbert Einswine guy

LISA
It’s Albert Einstein, Bart!

BART
Blah blah blah, what’s the difference? (Cackles as his voice completely fades away from the scene)

(The scene still shows the same aerial view for next few seconds; then, the song ‘Daybreak’ by Lisa Ekdahl starts to play on the background)

(Cut to credit; the song continues playing throughout the credit)

THE END

[Dewey Finn]

So, er, any opinions?

[Terry Y]

Been kinda busy to read anything lately, but it's on my list.  Patience, young one!

[Terry Y]

Okay, read it!

Actually a pretty good idea for a script, I must say.  And there were some funny bits (the Fat Albert thing, especially!). 

This feels like a first draft of a script, I must say.  There were several grammar issues which made certain parts hard to understand (Flanders is a pedophile?  Huh?).  My advice to you would be to get a hold of some other scripts - either plays or TV or movie scripts, which should both be available at your local and/or school library - and read a few of those to get a handle on the way people talk. 

Again, I think it's a great idea, but it definitely needs some polishing.  But don't let that discourage you!  Remember, writing is re-writing, so keep it up!

[c_nordlander]

Typoes: "they sit on whoopee cushion and makes big fart sound" should be "they sit on a whoopee cushion and it makes a big fart sound"; "I became tardy of the next 82%" shouldn't have the "of", and the next part of the sentence shouldn't have the "in" before "83%"; "his bled hand" isn't correct (should be "bleeding"); "the bandage gets caught by the edge" should be "on"; "due to the pain of bleeding tongue" should be "his bleeding tongue"; "How can one be nerd" should be "a nerd"; "stuff" shouldn't have an S at the end; "in the count of 50" should be "on the count" etc.; "anything but bruised fist" should be "*a* bruised fist" etc.; "another weenies" doesn't make sense; “I can blow them up in the canon” should presumably be “with a cannon”; “a Japanese robot anime DVD’s” shouldn't have the S; “pulls off a white dress from thin air” should be “out”; “all these profane use” should be “uses”; “and some teenagers’ soul” should be “souls”; “I didn’t have chance to” should be “a chance”; “in orphanage” should be “in the orphanage”; “gets into gloomy expression” should be “a gloomy expression”; “on trash can” should be “on a trash can”, “and friendly visage” needs an “a”; “in future” needs a “the”; you usually just say “behind bars”, not “behind the bars”; “those precious money” should be “that”; “over hear” should be “here” (obviously a typo); “and yet get another encounter” should be “and get yet another encounter”; “you’re from orphanage” needs an “an”; “but how it happen without her knowing that I’m dead?” needs to be changed to something like “but how can it happen”; “in the middle of busy orphanage living room” needs an “an”; “I’m gonna rot in garbage pile” should be “in a garbage pile”; “is there anyway that you could come back?” should be “any way”; “to be feel loved” should be “to feel loved”; “from the other side of pile” should be “the pile”; “He pulls out human-leg out of the pile; it’s week-old corpse of Bart” should be “a human leg” (no hyphen) and “the week-old corpse”; “we might as well as put this one” doesn't need the second “as”; “so I don’t give a rat’s ass on whose brother it is” doesn't need the “on”; “carrying trash bag into the factory” should be “a trash bag”; “running to agonizing Bart” needs a “the”; “remove a halo over your head” should be “the halo”; “some tear appear” should be “tears”; “not that I’m alive again” seems to be a typo for “now”; “the things are well” should just be “things are well”; . "his scar gets jammed on the pole" isn't grammatically incorrect, but I have no idea what is supposed to be happening. "Others boys takes a glimpse at each other at uncertainty" doesn't make any sense, either. "his other hand get go through it" must need some sort of change. Also, there are several cases where you haven't had a full stop at the end of a line. "Dearly" is an adverb, not an adjective. “crying after crying after crying”doesn't make any sense. “everyone’s been finding for your son” should be “searching”. “Prank” isn't a verb (at least, I've never seen it used like that); I'd change it to “play a prank on”. “CUT SCENE to the out of the dorm” makes no sense. “and crouch over to look down upon” should not have the last “upon”. “separating away” doesn't need the “away”. Presumably, “Pinky's eye” should be “eyes” (unless he's related to Leela). “What the hell do you you’re doing?” should be “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” (obviously a typo). It's “make love to”, not “with”. It's not “arrest away”. “I cannot help but believe this…is true” is correct, but it seems like Bart means the opposite (that he cannot believe it's true). “the flower ground atmosphere turns into blacked out space of nothing” is comprehensible, but would need rewriting. “while Lisa’s somatic weep is heard out of their room” makes no sense (“somatic” means “of or pertaining to the body”, and “weep” isn't a noun). “Lisa is seen wearing a small note, a pen, a magnifying glass, a hand-held flashlight and a big blanket”: that should be “holding”, not “wearing”. “Junk” should always be singular, as should “stuff”, “garbage”, “trash”, and “grub” meaning “food” (“grubs” are maggots). “and I hope you’d too!” doesn't make much sense in the context (should be something like “and I hope you are, too!”).

Another technical nitpick: when writing stage directions, you don't need to write them like “Lisa is seen sitting at the table”. Just “Lisa is sitting at the table” is perfect.

but unfortunately for her, Bart’s soul is transparent

Since Lisa falls through Bart's soul, surely you mean “intangible”.

It's “Emily Dickinson”. Also, you spell Kimberly's name differently in different places (“Kimberly” and “Kimberley”).

The title isn't brilliant: it sounds too similar to "The Lovely Bones" without actually being witty.

The opening is quite nice, with some funny accidents happening to Bart. The hide-and-seek scene is funny as well, and feels true to the show. While there are some language problems with the dialogue, as I've pointed out when reviewing your previous fic, most of the leads feel in character.

Then...

Spoiler

Bart dies

and the fic takes a new direction. Well... in fact, I think it possibly doesn't, and that might be a problem. It pretty much carries on as the comedy it was.

There are some outstanding jokes, like the inscription on the Pearly Gates, and a lot of lines in the kitchen with the cops. I like “Bloody Gumbo Murray”, too.

Dialogue, like I said in my review of your previous fic, suffers from your language problem a bit: there aren't that many errors, but it feels rather bureaucratic, which makes it hard to tell if the characters are in character. However, there are quite a few good lines, and like I said, some of the humour is top-notch.

The characters seem fairly in-character, despite the dialogue problems. Bart feels very good, in particular, though he turns a bit out of character in the dream scene. I assume that's to show how much he's changed, but we never really see the change happening, so it seems to come out of nowhere.

The plot itself is quite good, with some nicely imagined scenes and a very suspenseful ending, though I think it ended up a bit too preachy and feel-good with the whole “become a better person” plot. You do make heaven seem like a fun place, which is a challenge to most writers.

However, tone is the big problem here. The plot really calls for a drama, but you seem to have wanted to write a comedy, with the unfortunate side-effect that the humour and various OFF-like absurdity comes off as out of line. Some examples:

Spoiler

Bart's death is too silly: his skin turns green? Choking to death in a dumpster shouldn't have that effect. Turning the scattering of the ashes into slapstick isn't as bad, and I did find it funny, but it feels odd. Also, Bart's joking around when Melissa tells him about being raped, while in-character lines, is seriously out of line in the context.

Speaking of which:

Spoiler

It seriously irked me that Melissa actually forgives Geoff for raping her. “For the sake of the baby”? Sorry, but that's unrealistic and terrible. If you want a reason for her not to call the authorities on Geoff, you could easily have her being too ashamed, or afraid, or both. I don't mind her caring about the baby, but forgiving Geoff (and, presumably, wanting to stay together with him) is just not right.

I found the whole business about Melissa's child's soul a bit creepy. Interesting, just creepy.

The subplot about Melissa started out good, if a bit melodramatic (and, like I said, one thing gave me big problems). However, it's never really resolved: we're just told that it ended well, long after the fact. All in all, it felt unconnected to the main plot, and the lack of development made me feel it could as well have been left out.

So, to sum up:

The good: the characters feel right, there is some great humour, and you have a very decent plot. I particularly liked the ending. Melissa is a very good original character, and I like her backstory (though, as I said, it fizzled out rather than being properly resolved).

The bad: I feel mean for putting technical problems here, but there are enough grammatical mistakes to make this fic very hard to read. I suggest getting a beta-reader to look it over before you post it on the board. Other than that, I found the mixture of comedy and drama disconcerting and sometimes a bit tasteless. With a plot this dramatic, it might have been preferable to... maybe not make it into a straight drama with no jokes whatsoever, but at least keep the jokes out of the most pivotal scenes (the death, Melissa telling her backstory).

My rating: C+