REVIEW: Steppin' Out (1/1) (Fry/Leela)
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- missy_misery
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REVIEW: Steppin' Out (1/1) (Fry/Leela)
Since this is entirely beta'd - wrote it for a livejournal challenge, and she wanted Fry/Leela Valentine's Day fic. As per request, lotsa fluff, and little toothless, esp. for a Futurama fic. Enjoy?
SUMMARY: Fry and Leela celebrate Valentine's Day in Space.
SUMMARY: Fry and Leela celebrate Valentine's Day in Space.
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Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy. Missy's good.)
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- c_nordlander
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Re: REVIEW: Steppin' Out (1/1) (Fry/Leela)
Typoes: "When he told her that and she rolled her eye;" seems to have an extraneous "and"; the very last sentence is in the present tense (that might have been intentional, though).
Also, this may just be my own stupidity, but I've never heard the word "equimancy" before, and googling it gives me either fantasy RPG stuff or this fic.
The writing is flawless and beautiful, which is admittedly to be expected from you. In fact, it's good even for one of your stories. The description of zero gravity is beautiful. While the emphasis isn't on comedy, there are a few good jokes (like the soup can one, and the various over-the-top things Fry wants to get Leela are hilarious), and the opening banter between Fry and Bender is hilarious. There is a very sweet and poetic ambience to the whole thing, and it generally feels like a realistic date: not too perfect, but they are clearly well matched. Everyone seems to be in character. Fry seems a bit overly apologetic and downbeat at some points, but that could be explained by the situation. (Also, it shows that he's trying to change a bit.)
There is nothing bad about this story. I prefer stories with a bit more meat on them (either plot or comedy), but this story fulfils what it set out to do. Recommended.
My score: A-
"she" shouldn't be capitalised.“Fry! You’re going to damage the hull!” She shouted
Also, this may just be my own stupidity, but I've never heard the word "equimancy" before, and googling it gives me either fantasy RPG stuff or this fic.
The writing is flawless and beautiful, which is admittedly to be expected from you. In fact, it's good even for one of your stories. The description of zero gravity is beautiful. While the emphasis isn't on comedy, there are a few good jokes (like the soup can one, and the various over-the-top things Fry wants to get Leela are hilarious), and the opening banter between Fry and Bender is hilarious. There is a very sweet and poetic ambience to the whole thing, and it generally feels like a realistic date: not too perfect, but they are clearly well matched. Everyone seems to be in character. Fry seems a bit overly apologetic and downbeat at some points, but that could be explained by the situation. (Also, it shows that he's trying to change a bit.)
There is nothing bad about this story. I prefer stories with a bit more meat on them (either plot or comedy), but this story fulfils what it set out to do. Recommended.
My score: A-
Last edited by c_nordlander on Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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- missy_misery
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Re: REVIEW: Steppin' Out (1/1) (Fry/Leela)
Thanks so much for reading it, Chris - I admit it's utterly and totally light on content and high on sap for a fic of mine, but I couldn't quite resist the prompt. Glad you liked it!
*Makes note to self to send this off to F_MH*
*Makes note to self to send this off to F_MH*
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy. Missy's good.)
Creator of the Waving Universe
Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
Creator of the Waving Universe
Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
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Re: REVIEW: Steppin' Out (1/1) (Fry/Leela)
Hello,
I thought that if I was asking people to review my work that I should also do theirs. I agree with the review that was before me with the grade of A-. I also would like more meat to the story. Especially when it gives me a clue as to the author's insight. if you could've had Fry overcoming an objection that Leela has in her heart. This way maybe males like me could learn how to communicate with the other half. I look at writing as an opportunity to educate through situations. Or maybe Leela gioving more reasons/explanations on why Fry fails.
I thought that if I was asking people to review my work that I should also do theirs. I agree with the review that was before me with the grade of A-. I also would like more meat to the story. Especially when it gives me a clue as to the author's insight. if you could've had Fry overcoming an objection that Leela has in her heart. This way maybe males like me could learn how to communicate with the other half. I look at writing as an opportunity to educate through situations. Or maybe Leela gioving more reasons/explanations on why Fry fails.
- missy_misery
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Re: REVIEW: Steppin' Out (1/1) (Fry/Leela)
Glad you enjoyed it! If you'd like fuller insight into how I write the characters, please feel free to browse the archive; I've written a lot of much longer Fry/Leela pieces; this was an impulsive one-off.
That tends to be a common theme in Fry/Leela pieces, and one I thus tend to avoid. Also, this isn't intended to be an educative narrative, sorry. Some writing - and this piece in particular - are impulsive exercises that just exist to entertain.shoerecruiter wrote: If you could've had Fry overcoming an objection that Leela has in her heart. This way maybe males like me could learn how to communicate with the other half. I look at writing as an opportunity to educate through situations.
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy. Missy's good.)
Creator of the Waving Universe
Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
Creator of the Waving Universe
Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"