Review: "Hop in and Drive"

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Gulliver63
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Review: "Hop in and Drive"

Postby Gulliver63 » Sat Apr 28, 2012 2:21 am

Earlier this year I read a 1969 Robert Silverberg story called "Passengers," which involved parasitic alien possession. Although a great story, we never got to find out anything about the aliens themselves. I wanted to see what the PE crew would do if faced with an encounter like this. The wonderful part of my story was seeing personalities evolve for the alien invaders. Even though this was a fun story to write (it was a blast), it was also a great challenge. I re-read it quite a few times, just trying to make sure that it could be easily understood.
The title came from the concept that the alien would force us out of the "driver's seat," and into the "passenger seat" so that it could drive. Unlike the Silverberg story where the human host had no memory of the events of the possession, here the human knows what's going on and can't stop it - they're just along for the ride. Leela, it seems, has a mutant brain built a bit differently and can still communicate with her "driver." This was a difficult story and I hope I've written it well enough for everyone to get their funnybone tickled by it. Enjoy!

Rated PG with mild language and very mild adult situations
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"We are today's creatures, locked in tomorrow's double feature..."
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Re: Review: "Hop in and Drive"

Postby c_nordlander » Sat Apr 28, 2012 10:59 pm

Typoes: "spoilsport" should be one word; "you're commander" should be "your"; "ladies and gentleman" obviously needs changing (unless there's just one man there).

I enjoyed this story quite a bit. The possession set-up is always interesting (I had a similar idea for a Futurama fanfic, though I never finished it), and the plot is good and goes in an original direction. Very nice ending.

Everyone seems to be in character (I especially liked Leela), and it was nice to see a Kif appearance. The aliens were pretty well characterised, too.

There are several excellent jokes. Things I liked most: Bender meeting the others on the street; Zapp complaining about
Spoiler
and the bit with Hermes in the ending. No, scratch that: pretty much everything in the ending is hilarious.

There are very few flaws in this story. It felt a bit low on tension; I realise you probably didn't intend for it to be nail-biting suspense, but it might have made for a more involving arc if
Spoiler


Also, the writing itself felt a bit lacklustre to me, with much more dialogue than description. Still, like I said, the humour is top notch.

In short, I found it a bit slow-paced and unmemorable, but with a nice storyline and many great jokes. My score: A-

PS. And I really love your promo picture.
Last edited by c_nordlander on Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
The noose draws tighter;
This is the end;
I'm a good fighter
But a bad friend;
I've played the traitor
Over and over;
I'm a good hater
But a bad lover.


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Gulliver63
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Re: Review: "Hop in and Drive"

Postby Gulliver63 » Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:58 pm

Thanks! What I was really worried about was that someone might just get lost in all the flip-flopping back and forth. I actually researched several books just to see how they handled this thought-thingee; principal among them was Heinlein's "I Will Fear No Evil," which sort of has a similar situation of a character-within-a character. This was one of those stories that came along really fast. My favorite gag was
Spoiler
which I tossed in at the last minute. I was really sweating over this one, but it was a barrel of fun to write.

I also enjoyed returning to my love of hand lettering; I don't know why, but I wanted to create a 1960's looking typestyle.
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Re: Review: "Hop in and Drive"

Postby missy_misery » Wed May 02, 2012 10:16 pm

Good show, Guliver

Spoiler


Grade: A
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Re: Review: "Hop in and Drive"

Postby Gulliver63 » Thu May 03, 2012 1:13 am

missy_misery wrote:Good show, Guliver

Spoiler


Grade: A

Thanks! I could have gone with Fry with the delta wave bit, but I did that already. When you think of it, a mutant is sort of an "alien" to the rest of us...in a way.
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Re: Review: "Hop in and Drive"

Postby missy_misery » Sun May 06, 2012 9:07 am

*NODS* I'm glad you went with that angle, since the show's already poked and prodded it.
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Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"

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