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- Insane Underling
- Posts: 11809
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2001 2:00 pm
- Custom Title: Not even in death does duty end
- Chief Executive Officer
- Posts: 5739
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 9:45 pm
- Location: Scotland
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was Us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do bad things. - Jingo, Terry Pratchett
Note: I'm not bothering to repeat quote bits from the first part that was posted. There's not really any point IMO.
"SMITHERS (with hopeless gallantry): There is no shame in being a lapdog, sir."
LOL Yeah well *HE* would say that.
"BURNS (evilly): What part of "crush the foreign devils" don't you understand?"
LOL OMG is Burns related to Maggie Thatcher?!
"Lisa gets up and tries to shake herself dry, when a toy boat comes drifting up to the bank by her feet. She looks at it, somewhat puzzled. Close up of the ship. It's quite a sumptuous model of a Spanish frigate (with the name "Santa Marge" on the prow), but there are nuclear symbols on all the sails."
LOL Now *THATS* surreal. Nice one.
"HOMER (shaking his hand madly, shrieking): Damn you, slush ice! You betrayed me!"
LOL Damn U! Damn U SLUSH ICE! Heh heh heh.
"BART (a bit annoyed): I never get to see any Spanish ships from the sixteenth century loaded with nuclear waste! It's unfair! I bet it was placed there in order to be found by the Chosen One!"
LOL Chosen one? What is this fallout?
"LISA (driven to the edge): Did I tell you the ship was just one foot long?
Bart starts crooning the intro to "Because I Got High" (by Afroman). Cut to Marge, trying to comfort Homer who's starting to look worried."
LOL Heh heh heh heh. Spot on Chris, spot on. Awwwwww...
"GUARD (reaching out of the boot to shake his hand): Wow, congratulations! I wish I'd get a chance like that, once in a while."
Pffft, guards...what do they know?
"HOMER (excited): Wow, the Train Graveyard! This is where old trains come to die!"
LOL You mean like in FF7? Heh heh.
"BURNS (sighing): You are taxing my patience. Yesterday, we made our preliminary tests of the transport boats. We are 99% affirmative that a galleon may freight our waste canisters all the way from our New World to Granada, where they will be presented to the most Catholic Queen as a token of eternal peace."
Heh that's more ridicules thing I've seen with boats since playing "Pirates!".
"BURNS (grimly satisfied): Smithers, take notes. The iron plating does not seem to be quite up to it."
Geeee ya think?
"WIGGUM (OS, shocked): Ralph! Where did you get that?"
LOL Hmm...that's quite slick for Ralph really...
"HOMER (depressive, not really listening): No, you’re right. The plant sucks."
Wow Homer *FINALLY* said it.
"They sink things with blocks of concrete around them!"
LOL Wow! Agro hippies!
"Cue music ”Kyle’s Mom Is A Big Fat B*tch” from South Park.
BART (singing): Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell Lindsey Naegle is a…
Close up of his face as he gulps. A manicured female hand grips his shoulder. Zoom out to show Lindsey, with her ever-present lawyers, standing behind him, her face pleasant."
LOL LOL LOL Awwww...your killing me...
"LINDSEY: And do you want to know what I call that? (points at the goldfish) CARP!"
LOL Awwwwww...another in joke...
" LISA (promptly): A madman, willing to hazard environmental catastrophe for your own obscure ends.
Close up of her sad face, her eyes growing bigger, as ever so slightly tragic music plays."
Awwww...talk about milking it...THIS IS SO CHEESY IT'S GOTTA WORK!!
"Close up of Burns and Lisa as they seem to reach some sort of agreement."
Heh just for the record I can't believe Lisa would TRUST Burns after the Li'l Lisa slurry fiasco.
"LINDSEY (sharply): And when is this demonstration to take place, (with nasty emphasis) pray?"
*grabs longsword and attacks Lindsey* BEG FOR DEATH! And I'll make it quick!!*bash cut bang*
"In Chapter 9, Verse 7 of… (somewhat annoyed) the… book of Armaments… (enraged) which was removed as heretical after the Synod of Tsorta!"
"HOMER (oblivious to her irony): Mr Burns is going to test the nuclear transports… which are Springfield-made wagons… by a train accident! I want you to get your butt there and stop him! (wiping the sweat from his face) Oh, and get me a soft drink!"
That is soooooo like Homer to say that.
"LINDSEY (leaning forward, pretending interest): Then why is Monty Burns intent on doing this? (smirking) Is he a suicidal madman?"
"Cut to where Lenny and Carl, wearing ancient stoker uniforms, are walking up to the locomotive, both madly happy. The crowd cheers them."
IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE!
"LENNY (standing up): It’s OK, Carl. Turns out it was just pins and needles."
LOL Oh boy...
Right summery time. This was great fun, it’s been a while since a fan fic has made me laugh like this one has. The LOL’s where real believe me. Then there’s the interesting plot involving Burns unhinged side and of course the characterisation was good particularly of Homer and Lisa. Burns was a bit too mad but I suppose he had to be for it to work. Granted there where bits where it felt just a bit to contrived but the humour and the plot more than made up for this. I give it a solid thumbs up. BTW I particularly like the scene with Lisa trying to look cute and upset to get Burns on her side, amazing if rather obvious exploit really.
Anyway as I said. Read it. It’s good.
You have joined the sacred order of The Stonecutters, who since ancient times, have split the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge of light and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play Ping-Pong! - Number One
- Sub-sector Control Officer's Assistant
- Posts: 1328
- Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2001 3:22 pm
- Location: Barsbüttel, Germany
The charachteriation was incredible, especially for Burns and Smithers. Neagle was a nice surprise too!
The final parts were greatly organized, a restless ruhagainst the time. And the end was... fulfilling ;D
The only thing that doesn't sound quite right to me, is like Stan said, how Lisa could trust burns again after the Li'l Lisa plant stuff. But i guess she's just like this.
Four Thumbs up!
- Junior Secretariat
- Posts: 4117
- Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2001 8:20 pm
- Location: South of South America
Another highlight is the script format. I could picture the scenes in my mind with precision. Kudos for that, too.
Overall, a great and enjoyable piece, this one. Highly recommended!
Nice mix of comedy and drama ! 8)
Big things I liked: Lindsey Naegle is becoming a Gil-like recurring character, so it's about time for her to get a major fanfic role. Also, she is the ideal foil for Burns, and the way you drew her is amazing. She's the one heavy who can out-Burns Burns in cold, calculating selfishness. Another classic Homer and Lisa moment at the end, with the assist from Monty. The suspense will draw anyone into the story. In short:
[glow=red,2,300]READ IT PEOPLE![/glow]
Once again, Lisa seems to get through to Mr.Burns, only to get kicked in the shins a little later.
You were dead on with Burns, Smithers and Lindsey, but the anxiety stricken Homer was a bit off cue, here and there...but that's what anxiety does to people, so I went with it.
Bart's escapades on the soapbox were top notch, as was the teachers comments at the school parent's night.
Nice work, Chris...Oh, and I love the Tire fire solution at the end...that'll work! Two BIG thumbs up!!
Just great fun to read this, and a lot of laugh-out-loud moments.