REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

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REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by c_nordlander » Sat Sep 21, 2002 7:52 am

Here it is. A comedic drama (or possibly dramatic comedy) of love, loyalty, greed, struggle to the death and several cubic metres of liquid radioactive waste. I'm sort of proud of it. Now, please read and review!  :)
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by gkscotty » Sat Sep 21, 2002 10:04 am

Very, very good. I really enjoyed this.

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was Us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do bad things. - Jingo, Terry Pratchett
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by IDPStan » Sat Sep 21, 2002 2:55 pm

Review of A Dedicated Follower of Fission.

Note: I'm not bothering to repeat quote bits from the first part that was posted. There's not really any point IMO.

"SMITHERS (with hopeless gallantry): There is no shame in being a lapdog, sir."

LOL Yeah well *HE* would say that.

"BURNS (evilly): What part of "crush the foreign devils" don't you understand?"

LOL OMG is Burns related to Maggie Thatcher?! ;D

"Lisa gets up and tries to shake herself dry, when a toy boat comes drifting up to the bank by her feet. She looks at it, somewhat puzzled. Close up of the ship. It's quite a sumptuous model of a Spanish frigate (with the name "Santa Marge" on the prow), but there are nuclear symbols on all the sails."

LOL Now *THATS* surreal. Nice one.

"HOMER (shaking his hand madly, shrieking): Damn you, slush ice! You betrayed me!"

LOL Damn U! Damn U SLUSH ICE! Heh heh heh.

"BART (a bit annoyed): I never get to see any Spanish ships from the sixteenth century loaded with nuclear waste! It's unfair! I bet it was placed there in order to be found by the Chosen One!"

LOL Chosen one? What is this fallout?

"LISA (driven to the edge): Did I tell you the ship was just one foot long?
Bart starts crooning the intro to "Because I Got High" (by Afroman). Cut to Marge, trying to comfort Homer who's starting to look worried."

LOL Heh heh heh heh. Spot on Chris, spot on. Awwwwww...

"GUARD (reaching out of the boot to shake his hand): Wow, congratulations! I wish I'd get a chance like that, once in a while."

Pffft, guards...what do they know?

"HOMER (excited): Wow, the Train Graveyard! This is where old trains come to die!"

LOL You mean like in FF7? Heh heh.

"BURNS (sighing): You are taxing my patience. Yesterday, we made our preliminary tests of the transport boats. We are 99% affirmative that a galleon may freight our waste canisters all the way from our New World to Granada, where they will be presented to the most Catholic Queen as a token of eternal peace."

Heh that's more ridicules thing I've seen with boats since playing "Pirates!".

"BURNS (grimly satisfied): Smithers, take notes. The iron plating does not seem to be quite up to it."

Geeee ya think?

"WIGGUM (OS, shocked): Ralph! Where did you get that?"

LOL Hmm...that's quite slick for Ralph really...

"HOMER (depressive, not really listening): No, you’re right. The plant sucks."

Wow Homer *FINALLY* said it.

"They sink things with blocks of concrete around them!"

LOL Wow! Agro hippies!

"Cue music ”Kyle’s Mom Is A Big Fat B*tch” from South Park.
           BART (singing): Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell Lindsey Naegle is a…
Close up of his face as he gulps. A manicured female hand grips his shoulder. Zoom out to show Lindsey, with her ever-present lawyers, standing behind him, her face pleasant."

LOL LOL LOL Awwww...your killing me...

"LINDSEY: And do you want to know what I call that? (points at the goldfish) CARP!"

LOL Awwwwww...another in joke...

"            LISA (promptly): A madman, willing to hazard environmental catastrophe for your own obscure ends.
Close up of her sad face, her eyes growing bigger, as ever so slightly tragic music plays." about milking it...THIS IS SO CHEESY IT'S GOTTA WORK!!

"Close up of Burns and Lisa as they seem to reach some sort of agreement."

Heh just for the record I can't believe Lisa would TRUST Burns after the Li'l Lisa slurry fiasco.

"LINDSEY (sharply): And when is this demonstration to take place, (with nasty emphasis) pray?"

*grabs longsword and attacks Lindsey* BEG FOR DEATH! And I'll make it quick!!*bash cut bang*

"In Chapter 9, Verse 7 of… (somewhat annoyed) the… book of Armaments… (enraged) which was removed as heretical after the Synod of Tsorta!"


"HOMER (oblivious to her irony): Mr Burns is going to test the nuclear transports… which are Springfield-made wagons… by a train accident! I want you to get your butt there and stop him! (wiping the sweat from his face) Oh, and get me a soft drink!"

That is soooooo like Homer to say that.

"LINDSEY (leaning forward, pretending interest): Then why is Monty Burns intent on doing this? (smirking) Is he a suicidal madman?"

Hell yes.

"Cut to where Lenny and Carl, wearing ancient stoker uniforms, are walking up to the locomotive, both madly happy. The crowd cheers them."


"LENNY (standing up): It’s OK, Carl. Turns out it was just pins and needles."

LOL Oh boy...

Right summery time. This was great fun, it’s been a while since a fan fic has made me laugh like this one has. The LOL’s where real believe me. Then there’s the interesting plot involving Burns unhinged side and of course the characterisation was good particularly of Homer and Lisa. Burns was a bit too mad but I suppose he had to be for it to work. Granted there where bits where it felt just a bit to contrived but the humour and the plot more than made up for this. I give it a solid thumbs up. BTW I particularly like the scene with Lisa trying to look cute and upset to get Burns on her side, amazing  if rather obvious exploit really.

Anyway as I said. Read it. It’s good.
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by Karsten_Thiel » Sun Sep 22, 2002 5:05 pm

Great fun! It was nice to see Lindsey Naegle used as a main character, especially as the perfect evil match to Mr. Burns. A gripping plot, and the blend of drama and comedy was excellent.
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by Marco » Tue Sep 24, 2002 11:16 am

Wow, this was good! I liked the way the plot evolved into a real deep drama without leaving completely its comedic roots.
The charachteriation was incredible, especially for Burns and Smithers. Neagle was a nice surprise too! :)

The final parts were greatly organized, a restless ruhagainst the time. And the end was... fulfilling  ;D
The only thing that doesn't sound quite right to me, is like Stan said, how Lisa could trust burns again after the Li'l Lisa plant stuff. But i guess she's just like this.

Four Thumbs up!
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by SirMustapha » Sun Sep 29, 2002 10:24 pm

This one was great! Again, a simple idea brilliantly executed. The whole fic was very interesting, very interesting indeed. The scenes and situations were well done, from the heatwave that catches the reader right away to the final scene, the final climax. The plot was very well developed, in a way that you can't see the ending coming from a mile away.
Another highlight is the script format. I could picture the scenes in my mind with precision. Kudos for that, too.

Overall, a great and enjoyable piece, this one. Highly recommended!
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by Horrorhead » Thu Oct 17, 2002 9:44 am

Wow !  8)  Really enjoyable !
Nice mix of comedy and drama !  8)
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by Tony_Baritone » Sun Nov 03, 2002 1:04 am

Little things I liked:  Lisa trying to convince Hoover about the ships...Homer/Burns dialogue...commentary on Springfield construction...and the in-jokes utterly ruled.

Big things I liked:  Lindsey Naegle is becoming a Gil-like recurring character, so it's about time for her to get a major fanfic role.  Also, she is the ideal foil for Burns, and the way you drew her is amazing.  She's the one heavy who can out-Burns Burns in cold, calculating selfishness.  Another classic Homer and Lisa moment at the end, with the assist from Monty.  The suspense will draw anyone into the story.  In short:

[glow=red,2,300]READ IT PEOPLE![/glow]
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by Dana » Sun Nov 03, 2002 10:06 pm

After starting this a couple weeks back, I finally found some time for myself to sitback and enjoy the second half of this story...and what a great story! It was pure joy reading the final pages, wondering if Springfield was going to go up in smoke, or if someone was going to save the day.

Once again, Lisa seems to get through to Mr.Burns, only to get kicked in the shins a little later.

You were dead on with Burns, Smithers and Lindsey, but the anxiety stricken Homer was a bit off cue, here and there...but that's what anxiety does to people, so I went with it.

Bart's escapades on the soapbox were top notch, as was the teachers comments at the school parent's night.

Nice work, Chris...Oh, and I love the Tire fire solution at the end...that'll work! ;) Two BIG thumbs up!!
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Re: REVIEWS: "A Dedicated Follower of Fission"

Post by Tibor » Thu Jan 30, 2003 2:32 am

Wow, what can I say that hasn't already been said.  It was wonderfully dystopic in parts (particularly the beginning), and the ending was gripping.  Lindsey Naegle vs. Burns was very well done- Super Capitalist vs. Wicked Industrialist.  On a personal note, you being from across the pond colored the dialogue a bit, making it a little strange to me at times.  But that's just me personally (so it doesn't really matter ;) ) and it doesn't detract at all from my enjoyment of this great script.

Just great fun to read this, and a lot of laugh-out-loud moments.
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