Reviews - Lisa Fitzgerald

[IDPStan]

Comment about the last part of LF.(Part one)

Ok just for the record I'm assuming that you haven't changed the other parts and you already had my thoughts about that so rather than string together the longest review ever [even by my own standards] I'm just gonna talk about the last bit and overall.

"To begin with, Lisa tried to follow what was happening in front of her, but she soon gave up
trying to decipher the incomprehensible legal talk being volleyed back and forth."

Heh it's tough if you don't speak weasel.

"As time went on and Hutz began to show more and more evidence to the jury,"

Wow Hutz has real evidence for a change, maybe he'll actually win this one.

"As she buried her head forlornly into Marge's midriff, she could see that Jack was finding it hard to look at the damning evidence in front of him too."

He's probably thinking "Did I do that?" Gives ph33r the n33d for b33r a new spin.

"She wanted to listen to what Marge was saying, but she couldn't ignore the
churning fear in her stomach. What would she say? What if they didn't believe her?"

Oh yeah I suppose their gonna believe all those injures where sustained some other way...I mean unless it's a jury of Rednecks...

"Those idiots must have filled her head with all kinds of crap, to turn her against him like that."

Jeeez that's...deluded...

"he recited with the air of someone who had said those words so many times, but had never really wanted to."

You'd think he'd just write it down so he doesn't have to keep repeating it...or maybe not.

"But
somehow, she found the strength to carry on."

Yes because if you don't do this he'll probably walk! Ain't the world wonderful?

"She could see tears well up in her aunt's eyes as she smiled down at her proudly. "Lisa" she said proudly, "that was perfect.""

Yes the B*strd will get nailed for sure now!*chants* Jack's going down, Jack's going down!

Not at all partisan you understand.

"Suddenly, Jack's face began to contort in anger, as he started to take out his obvious frustrations and anger on the poor man."

Awww I almost felt sorry for a lawyer there. Almost!

"During it, he had the air of someone who wasn't exactly sure of what he was doing"

Funny Hutz is normally the one who's like that.

"Only Lionel Hutz advised caution against their high hopes,  warning that the judge might only see fit to give Jack a slap on the wrist, and that was assuming that he was found guilty at all."

Yeah right, I'm not familiar with US law but I don't think he would get a slap on the wrist for that.

"Lisa noticed that Jack was being flanked by guards now - surely that was a sign?"

I feel sorry for the guards.

""We find the defendant, Jack Fitzgerald... guilty." said the foreman."

Wow! Like no duh man! I guess the jury wasn't rednecks after all.

"As such, it is my recommendation that you should be sent to prison for a period of six months."

*sigh* Oh well that's the revolving door prison system for you.

""Oh, I'm so proud of you, honey!" she said warmly as she beamed at Lisa, taking her hand. "And
it's all over now! You don't have to worry about that monster again!""

For six months, what a jip.

""Oh, don't be silly Lisa." Marge said kindly, as she tried in vain to work a bow into Lisa's
hair. "You want to look your best, don't you? After all, there's going to be someone from the
newspaper!""

Yeah but it's probably Dave Shutten so I wouldn't worry too much.

"Eventually, Marge decided to admit defeat - it was obvious that Lisa's hair had never been meant
to be moulded into anything other than the spikey tangle it had gradually evolved into over the years."

Damned straight, anyone here remember the volleyball thing?[From Lisa on Ice]

"Lisa's paternity was still something that she struggled with - he couldn't really decide who, aside from the biological reality, she could really consider her daddy... was it the madman who nearly killed her, and was now safely locked up, albeit only for a few months, or was it a stranger who had died after a barroom brawl without knowing that she even existed?"

Heh great choice. Then there's Homer.

"Beginning to show signs of anxiety herself, Marge glanced at her watch, and suddenly became
more animated."

LOL Animated...closest thing to a joke in here...

"She arrived right in the middle of the head judge's speech... something generic about celebrating the state's young musical talent, and about how all of the finalists were winners, really"

The usual BS then.

"It took a moment for it to sink in... she'd won second place!"

LOL Reminds me of that born to runner up thing.

"She would
have loved to have known what would go through his mind if he did."

How about:*8@#!

"She wondered whether or not she should take Marge some flowers home, since the ones she had taken home in the past had strangely disappeared one afternoon when Homer was left in the house alone, but decided that she had better hurry up and get home."

Heh nice ref about Homer and the flower eating.

"It all happened in an instant. Before she could take in what was happening, a cloud came down
over Lisa's mind. She could feel herself falling as the world seemed to spin around her... as it
did, she could feel everything go dark."

So it's out of the frying pan into the fire. Dammed mysterious lurkers.

[IDPStan]

Comment about the last part of LF.(Part two)

"Suddenly, it struck Marge like a hammer. She could feel that sheer terror churning inside her stomach more than ever now. It was obvious. And terrifying."

Looks like you should have told her after all then. Better call the useless cops.

"Not for the first time in her life, Lisa genuinely felt that she was going to die."

Ah but that would spoil the fun, what about the torture? Ok I hope I'm wrong but knowing Jack...

"She couldn't believe he had fooled her for so long - all he had done was grow a beard and dye
his hair a different colour."

LOL It's Tom Bombadlio!

"She knew that screaming wouldn't help her with a gun at her head - she had to talk to Jack, to buy as much time as she could, and hope to God that somehow, someone would guess where she was..."

Well you'd think the old house would be the first place they'd check.

"I've got nothing left to live for. And if I'm going... so are you.""

Yay! Suicide killings! I don't think he'll do it though.

""I've turned into my dad..." he muttered to himself."

Yeah but that's a problem all men think they have.

""He'd hate to see me now, like this." Jack sobbed, shaking. "He used to knock shit out of me when I cried...""

Wow, he learned from the best!

"If everything went to plan (he was hoping that the nut would come out fighting, or the police would open fire - THAT would make great TV), he could win an award for this."

Awwwww badddd, bloody hacks...almost as bad as lawyers.

""With me is criminal psychiatrist Doctor Barry Lineker."

LOL Oh come on...surely you can think of better made up names than that...funny...

"While the police tried to save a young girl from a violent death a few yards away, Brockam was all smiles. It had been great TV.He'd win an award for this, he was sure."

Once again the motivations are all wrong, very realistic though.

""I... I killed her." he said, softly."

That explains a lot, like why she never came back for Lisa.

"She could feel the same dark evil that had seemingly dragged Jack onto his downward spiral building up inside her."

Yeah nail the f*8ker! Kiki: No Lisa! Stay good stay good!*poing*

[IDPStan]

Comment about the last part of LF.(Part three, phew..)

""Go on." he sighed. "I deserve it.""

Nah he deserves to be torture first *then* shot.

"It was then that Lisa realised that the best punishment for Jack, and the best tribute to her mother, would be to rise above Jack's destructive hate, and force him to be brought to task for the atrocities that he, himself and no-one else, had commited."

*sigh* I knew she wouldn't do it, oh well. Mind you in Jack's case it would have been a mercy killing...

"Lisa stood over the grave. "SUSAN FITZGERALD 1963 - 1999. A loving wife, mother, and daughter.""

Er...if Jack killed her and dumped the body how come there's a grave?

"The funny thing was, she hadn't felt happy, or sad, when she found out that Jack had been found hanging in his cell."

Oh for crying out loud, I thought they always took there belt and shoe laces of em. Then again if it's Springfield cops...

"Maybe if he had never given into the darkness and misery that Lisa knew all too well about from her own experiences, it might not have ended in such tragic circumstances."

Of course that would ruin the drama!

""Just think, I'm gonna have to call you Nurse Weir from now on...""

She's marrying Dr Dipshito? The hell? I thought they didn't get on...hmm...

"You had to make the best of what you were given, she had realised. She firmly believed that she had done that - instead of allowing the bitterness and anger to get on top of her, she had risen above it. It's never to late to change the road you're on."

Awwww wow, what a great life lesson. Then of course there are the idiots who believe in fate.

"He was a talented painter, even at his tender age, but he often destroyed his works in fits of temper."

Watch out if he tries to cut his ear off...

Well what can I say about it overall then? It's certainly a good read, very dramatic even in a shocking sort of way for some people. Although I've herd of such things before. As some people have said it's all so very touching to them, I'd like to say that I'd been emotionally involved with what went on but to tell you the truth it just kinda pissed me off a bit. It's good how you finally revealed the real reasons for Jack's abusive attitude, although I have to admit I'd guessed at them some way into the script. All so how it turns out is a kind of feel good life lesson, I found it a bit corny but I guess sometimes things turn out right. There are one or two issues like how there could be a grave if Jack dumped the body and how he was allowed to hang himself. Then there was one bit of unintentional comedy with the "animated" line about Marge, the "Barry Lineker" thing was kinda funny for the wrong reasons too.. It's certainly one of the best drama fics I've read if not the best. Although I don't know if it's "the best" I hesitate to use those words as other works are often of great value too and it's not always comparing like with like. I'm not going to praise it too much because to me that's a bit phoney and of course what I said above. Keep it real! Oh and one last thing, I loved the ref about Homer and the flowers!

Right that's it, as I said at the start this review is probably long enough as it is so I won't be repeating myself. If things have been changed please tell me and I'll re-read it though.

[jenny]

First, thanks for the reviews everyone. Stan, I'm going to try to answer those good points you made:

How come there was a grave when Jack got rid of the body? - Well... I dunno if you've ever seen The Incredible Hulk, but in that the bloke who becomes the hulk is in an accident in his lab, and people presume he's dead, when in fact, he just has the nasty habit of turning into some big fucker when he's ticked off. Although they never found the body, they put up a gravestone, kinda as a memorial for him - it's the same thing with Lisa's mum. And if that's not something that usually happens, blame that big green tosser for the shocking lapse of continuity.

Why was Jack allowed to hang himself? - Fred West hung himself in jail. It does happen...

There was one bit of unintentional comedy with the "animated" line about Marge. - Well, it's hard to come up with new and exciting metaphors that deep into a story...

The "Barry Lineker" thing was kinda funny for the wrong reasons too. - Well... err... :naughty:

It was corny. - I've been saying that for months!

Ok, I think that's about it, but feel free to point out any of the shocking shortcomings that plague the story...

[IDPStan]

And if that's not something that usually happens, blame that big green tosser for the shocking lapse of continuity.

*blames the hulk*

Why was Jack allowed to hang himself? - Fred West hung himself in jail. It does happen...

Ah. The system works. Reminds me of the end of Wing Commander IV where the Admiral hanged himself.[He was a traitor BTW]

Heh I never liked him and now I know why! :naughty:

There was one bit of unintentional comedy with the "animated" line about Marge. - Well, it's hard to come up with new and exciting metaphors that deep into a story...  

Oh don't misunderstand, I *liked* that line.

Well I still think it's a very good fic overall. Shortcomings or no...

Pobodys Nerfect.

[SirMustapha]

Jenny, I was willing to say that'a pretty long time ago. Since you know Pink Floyd--

CROWD: Oh, no, not Pink Floyd again!



Well, whatever. Maybe you know a song called Poles Apart from The Division Bell. That song *really* fits LF (maybe if we put the world "girl" instead of "boy"), not only in the lyics, but the whole mood of the song really fits the history.

What do you think about it, Jenny? If you don't know the song, I'd suggest you to give it a try. It's... BEEEEAUTIFUL!

[SirMustapha]

Well, here are the lyrics anyway.

"Did you know . . . it was all going to go so wrong for you
And did you see it was all going to be so right for me
Why did we tell you then
You were always the golden boy then
And that you'd never lose that light in your eyes

Hey you . . . did you ever realise what you'd become
And did you see that it wasn't only me you were running from
Did you know all the time but it never bothered you anyway
Leading the blind while I stared out the steel in your eyes

The rain fell slow, down on all the roofs of uncertainty
I thought of you and the years and all the sadness fell away from me
And did you know . . .

I never thought that you'd lose that light in your eyes"

Awwww...

[Marco]

Ooh, more moodyness... i don't know that song Fernando but i'm sure i'll listen to it as soon as possible. The lyrics are indeed fitting...  :'(

/me discards the idea of quoting the entire "A change of Seasons" song.

[jenny]

Thanks for the suggest, Ferny, but I don't think I've heard that one - the only post-Waters Floyd I've bothered with was Delicate Sound Of Thunder, and I don't think it was on that. I'll have to try and dig it out, though.

[D.B.]

Is that "...blood mingling with the water ..." line a deliberate Biblical referance? (I love little things like that in stories, stuff you have to think about a bit... )

[jenny]

Maybe.

Actually, the really observant among you should have spotted the hidden messages by now...

[jenny]

Oh, and here's part of a little out-take from LF. You'll see why it didn't make it...

[aoifestorm]

Lisa's note is so sad. It's fun to read it outside of the story, too.

[gkscotty]

That note is horrible. Except from a purely objective point of view, from there it's very well written. But what kind of person has that POV all the time?

[jenny]

Well, I did say there was a good reason why it was left out.