"Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

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"Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by addictive » Sun Jul 09, 2006 11:45 pm

Well, you can discuss the round robin previously mentioned here.
Find Me, A poem by Chris Dominowski.

If I am lost, and you do not care, will the search ever be fair?
Why am I here? What should I do?
The answer to this, I once knew.
Why should I be found if I always must hide?
I have tried so hard, my soul has died.
Over the years, In fear I have drowned. It is finally clear; I cannot be found.

Human, a poem by Chris dominowski

I wear sunglasses at night, but I carry a flashlight.
I turn from the flame, but stare at the ashes.
I walk into the woods, and never touch the trail.
I always look at my calander, but do not care what day it is.
I am the mixture of light and darkness; I am human.

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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by c_nordlander » Mon Jul 10, 2006 12:40 am

Looks decent so far, with a nice gimmick. I have one complaint, though:

@ametur_poet, I know this isn't a rule, but could you please not edit your round robin posts? At least in any major fashion - fixing spelling mistakes etc. is one thing, but I think adding an important plot element is not a good idea. I went straight to Lady Simpson's post when I noticed the robin had been updated and was quite confused by the mention of Homer's injury, until I looked up and realised that you had edited your post.

For the future, either make sure you write everything you want to write in the present post, or wait until your next turn to put in that plot element.
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by addictive » Mon Jul 10, 2006 12:51 am

Okay, I'll do that.
Find Me, A poem by Chris Dominowski.

If I am lost, and you do not care, will the search ever be fair?
Why am I here? What should I do?
The answer to this, I once knew.
Why should I be found if I always must hide?
I have tried so hard, my soul has died.
Over the years, In fear I have drowned. It is finally clear; I cannot be found.

Human, a poem by Chris dominowski

I wear sunglasses at night, but I carry a flashlight.
I turn from the flame, but stare at the ashes.
I walk into the woods, and never touch the trail.
I always look at my calander, but do not care what day it is.
I am the mixture of light and darkness; I am human.

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Dagdamor

Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by Dagdamor » Mon Jul 10, 2006 3:26 am

I second Chris (Immaterial) - or just warn us here, in the discussion topic, about the modification. :)

Nice story so far. I personally liked Lady's part more, mainly because it was smoother to me. But nice idea to open another RR, Chris. Actually, it's the first Simpsons Round Robin in action I see. Nice to know it's about Lisa. ^.^
* Dagdamor adds his part about Lisa getting wings.
Heh, just kidding... ;)
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by Dagdamor » Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:34 am

The last part in the RR ("July 12") is pretty angsty umho...
I hope you know how to save Lisa from this awful situation. Unless you're planning to kill of the whole family, of course. :-\
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by Casper » Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:46 am

Well I guess that would depend on the state of mind of the next person to continue it.

But, never-the-less, agreed it does seem bleak. But all stories need some type of cliffhanger.
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by addictive » Fri Jul 14, 2006 2:05 am

This story is pretty much writing itself for me. The same thing is happening to Homer that's happening to my uncle right now. That's how I got the idea.
Find Me, A poem by Chris Dominowski.

If I am lost, and you do not care, will the search ever be fair?
Why am I here? What should I do?
The answer to this, I once knew.
Why should I be found if I always must hide?
I have tried so hard, my soul has died.
Over the years, In fear I have drowned. It is finally clear; I cannot be found.

Human, a poem by Chris dominowski

I wear sunglasses at night, but I carry a flashlight.
I turn from the flame, but stare at the ashes.
I walk into the woods, and never touch the trail.
I always look at my calander, but do not care what day it is.
I am the mixture of light and darkness; I am human.

Image
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by archonix » Fri Jul 14, 2006 11:24 am

Dagdamor wrote: The last part in the RR ("July 12") is pretty angsty umho...
I hope you know how to save Lisa from this awful situation. Unless you're planning to kill of the whole family, of course. :-\
Save lisa from teh horrible predicament of bart killing himself? Easy!

LISA: Bart was going to kill himself, so I DID IT TO HIM FIRST! MUAHAHAHA!
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by addictive » Fri Jul 14, 2006 1:26 pm

"Sigh" Well, I wrote it because I'm depressed, okay? I thought the story should take another turn... and it did.
Find Me, A poem by Chris Dominowski.

If I am lost, and you do not care, will the search ever be fair?
Why am I here? What should I do?
The answer to this, I once knew.
Why should I be found if I always must hide?
I have tried so hard, my soul has died.
Over the years, In fear I have drowned. It is finally clear; I cannot be found.

Human, a poem by Chris dominowski

I wear sunglasses at night, but I carry a flashlight.
I turn from the flame, but stare at the ashes.
I walk into the woods, and never touch the trail.
I always look at my calander, but do not care what day it is.
I am the mixture of light and darkness; I am human.

Image
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by Lady_Simpson » Sun Jul 16, 2006 5:28 am

Save lisa from teh horrible predicament of bart killing himself? Easy!

LISA: Bart was going to kill himself, so I DID IT TO HIM FIRST! MUAHAHAHA!


Okay so I'm just SO tempted to do that now...probably would if Bart wasn't my favorite character so I'm not letting him die. 

But ametur_poet  ...depressed isn't cool, let me know if you need someone to talk to k?
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by addictive » Tue Jul 25, 2006 1:32 pm

Okay. Thanks. This story's really escalating, isn't it?
Find Me, A poem by Chris Dominowski.

If I am lost, and you do not care, will the search ever be fair?
Why am I here? What should I do?
The answer to this, I once knew.
Why should I be found if I always must hide?
I have tried so hard, my soul has died.
Over the years, In fear I have drowned. It is finally clear; I cannot be found.

Human, a poem by Chris dominowski

I wear sunglasses at night, but I carry a flashlight.
I turn from the flame, but stare at the ashes.
I walk into the woods, and never touch the trail.
I always look at my calander, but do not care what day it is.
I am the mixture of light and darkness; I am human.

Image
Dagdamor

Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by Dagdamor » Tue Jul 25, 2006 1:45 pm

It's way too much escalating, I'd say...
Try to be a bit smoother, people. This goes especially to Chris - imagine that Lisa is your own daughter or sister before writing next part. Lately, her Diary is just a weird mix of horror and whining... and that's not how her diary should look like, I suppose. I'm not criticizing, it's your idea and mostly your entries... but look at the last two "days" there: July 27, Lisa complains about her Mom meeting with another man. July 28, Lisa keeps doing exactly the same. Did she think about only one thing during the whole day? Doesn't she have anything else to write about?
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by Casper » Tue Jul 25, 2006 6:22 pm

I'd have to agree. I cant remember the last time my dad nearly died, my friend was actualy a ghost who died, and my brother nearly jumped of a cliff and died.
I couldnt do any better but, I have faith. This could be a really good Round Robin, it has potential.
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by addictive » Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:07 pm

I guess it is getting out of hand. Sorry. Went off on a delusional rampage. ;D
imagine that Lisa is your own daughter or sister before writing next part
I wouldn't know how to do this, for 2 reasons: 1. I'm only 12, so that rules out the daughter thing, at least slightly, anyway. 2. I never had any siblings, as far as I know.
I cant remember the last time my dad nearly died, my friend was actualy a ghost who died, and my brother nearly jumped of a cliff and died.
I can. Just without the second thing, and switch the word Brother with friend.
July 27, Lisa complains about her Mom meeting with another man
I thought she only LEARNED about it on July 27. I didn't see much complaining.

To wrap up this post, I just want to say, sorry if the story was leaning a little towards Sci-fi. I can't see much horror in the story, though. I'll try to tone it down as much as I can.
Find Me, A poem by Chris Dominowski.

If I am lost, and you do not care, will the search ever be fair?
Why am I here? What should I do?
The answer to this, I once knew.
Why should I be found if I always must hide?
I have tried so hard, my soul has died.
Over the years, In fear I have drowned. It is finally clear; I cannot be found.

Human, a poem by Chris dominowski

I wear sunglasses at night, but I carry a flashlight.
I turn from the flame, but stare at the ashes.
I walk into the woods, and never touch the trail.
I always look at my calander, but do not care what day it is.
I am the mixture of light and darkness; I am human.

Image
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Re: "Lisa's Diary" Discussion Thread

Post by Lady_Simpson » Wed Jul 26, 2006 9:52 am

Haha, I actually must say that I enjoy writing this eclectic mix of tragedy and horror and sci-fi.  Gives me the opportunity to write stuff I usually wouldn't write, in Simpsons' fanfiction or anything else for that matter.

I guess the ghost thing was a bit random and unexpected.  Same with Bart being suicidal.  I think Marge dating Lennie could have some interesting potential though...

Heh, Lisa certainly has an interesting life.

But yea it would be awesome if we could get a few more contributors to it....so any of you guys want to join ...pretty please?
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
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