The Ponyville Rag (MLP / OC)

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SirMustapha
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The Ponyville Rag (MLP / OC)

Post by SirMustapha » Tue Jun 01, 2021 3:46 am

Well, might as well put it up here. Most of you have seen this from previous creativity hours, but I've been working feverishly on the story for about a month, and I believe it's finished now.

Several months after the incident from Pinkie and Her Bane, Dainty Tunes found himself with a fairly comfortable, peaceful life in Ponyville, when a casual night with his friends in a pub leads him to meet an interesting pony, and the music of a mysterious, oddly fascinating band. Moved purely by the music, Dainty embarks on an unexpected adventure that might profoundly change his life.

Many, many things have motivated and inspired this story, which ended being a massive emotional trip for me. It serves as an ode to the transformative power of music, as a homage to the band Legião Urbana (who I've been a fan of since my mid teens), and as an earnest attempt to turn Dainty Tunes, who was originally created as a gag, into a legitimate character. And it's probably other things that I'm not aware of.

I do intend on publishing this story out there, both in English and Portuguese (I'm yet to start translating it), which also requires publishing Pinkie and Her Bane and Cupcake Therapy. I don't care if nobody reads it; it's just emotionally important to me.
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"This is the scientifical truth, which is much better. You shouldn't let poets lie to you."
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Meteorite
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Re: The Ponyville Rag (MLP / OC)

Post by Meteorite » Wed Jun 02, 2021 1:01 am

This has been a wonderful story to read. Following Dainty's journey through this kept me captivated, along with the other band members, and I'm so happy for all of them. I know nothing of music, but I felt the struggles within the story, and the raw emotion presented. Hell, I had some of my own; bewildered joy at Dainty and Steel, intense anger at the hecklers (no seriously; I wanted Meteorite to just fucking throttle them. I give her exclusive rights and free passes to do so! what do you mean that's abusing my power as a writer)

And yes, naturally, I have to mention the cameo. Honestly, fucking nailed it. I mean, I will always love when you guys write Meteorite, but there's usually a tell or two that makes me go, 'oh, she wouldn't actually say that' But here? I wouldn't change a damn thing; even the way she speaks feels right. It honestly feels like her, and that makes me so happy.

I love this story, and I'm so happy you wrote this. You've done an amazing job here.


*ahem* Now for the harsh public pointing out of errors I found while reading carefully a second time:

(btw, I used the Google Docs version over the pdf since it was easier to mark the mistakes on that, and errors seemed to match up between the two, so page numbers may differ)
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<gkscotty|drawing> most people play Pokemon games with GameFAQs or a Pokéwiki open
<gkscotty|drawing> you seem to have TVTRopes :P


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Sometimes I feel like dressing up my Gaia avatar.
Feels kinda pointless since I don't actually do stuff at Gaia, so I'm putting it here.
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SirMustapha
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Re: The Ponyville Rag (MLP / OC)

Post by SirMustapha » Wed Jun 02, 2021 3:24 am

Oh, dammit, Alexandra, I can barely say how elated I feel. It's crazy to me that this story should get such a nice, warm, positive response, but overall I feel great for bringing such happiness and such emotion through my writing.

Your opinion on Meteorite's characterisation kinda left my jaw on the floor. Yes, I did make an effort, but I never expected to get her so right as you say I did. But this is amazing, because she's been extremely inspirational for me, and she did spark the creation of Dainty after all. This is a genuine form of tribute, and it also was a lot of fun to incorporate her into the story; and seeing her struggle to gain confidence and the control of her life in Ponyville, it's really beautiful to see her offer support for somepony else.

And I'm actually super thankful for you pointing out all the problems (just like when someone else does it). That's a lot more thorough than I expected, and it's super important, because I should fix those before I publish it. And notice that I did revise the story start to finish, so all that just skipped right past me.

All in all, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
"This is the scientifical truth, which is much better. You shouldn't let poets lie to you."
-- Björk
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Re: The Ponyville Rag (MLP / OC)

Post by Stretch_Dude » Wed Jun 09, 2021 1:02 am

I already said in chat that the story's excellent and beautiful, Fernie. Just a couple of very small things I want to bring up:
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I memorized "Holy Grail" really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
- "Weird Al" Yankovic, "White and Nerdy"

"Any pile of stunted growth unaware that entertainment is just that and nothing more, deserves to doom themselves to some dank cell, somewhere, for having been so stupid!! Movies, books, T.V., music - they're all just entertainment, not guidebooks for damning yourself!" - Nny

I draw too, dammit!
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SirMustapha
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Re: The Ponyville Rag (MLP / OC)

Post by SirMustapha » Wed Jun 09, 2021 4:29 pm

Thank you for the pointers, Stretch! I was expecting more problems with such a long story, so, hey, I'm sorta glad!
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"This is the scientifical truth, which is much better. You shouldn't let poets lie to you."
-- Björk
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