OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

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c_nordlander
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OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by c_nordlander » Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:22 pm

A Simpsons Treehouse of Horror script. A parody of Edgar Allan Poe's story William Wilson, but you hopefully don't need to have read it to understand my fic. In 19th century England, young Lisa Simpson gets admitted to a prestigious girls' school and sees a chance to rise from her impoverished background, but instead finds her every step dogged by her strange doppelganger Allisa.

Script format. Probably too long for a Treehouse of Horror, oh well. Comedy. Not really that scary, but then again, the original story was written in 1839, and maybe people then were easier to scare.

Just for fun, references to other Poe stories and works are under the cut.
Spoiler
EDIT: Re-uploaded to add a couple of lines I forgot. No major changes to the plot.
Attachments
two lisas.doc
(106 KiB) Downloaded 82 times
two lisas.odt
(39.25 KiB) Downloaded 66 times
Last edited by c_nordlander on Mon Sep 11, 2017 1:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Are you really gonna take it like that?
Riding on the missile with a cowboy hat?

Oh, well the world is gonna end
So dance around the fire that we once believed in
Oh, wanna tear it down again, now
'Cause there's nothing left for us to bleed
Give it up, the sons of anarchy
So come around and have another round on me!

DANCE, F***ER, DANCE, LET THE MOTHERF***ER BURN!


-- The Offspring, "Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell"
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by Nidotamer » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:59 pm

Oooh, a Chrisfic, that's (I think?) not a commission! Also pretty fitting inspiration since it involves.
Spoiler
That said, I never read the original story so I might not get some bits of it. :P Still, plenty of funny fakeouts worthy of being on the show and it's all well put together, like a lot of the actions are very clear. I'm not sure it matters too much if it really fits the length of a THOH segment. I mean if you're aiming for super-authenticity maybe but otherwise it's a fanfic and not an episode pitch! Besides, scripts have their own advantages (like some of the jokes here wouldn't work as well in prose) so I think it's okay just to write something in script because you felt like it.

I think there's only two questions I've got.
Spoiler
So yeah, another solid work from you and glad to see more fics around, hopefully it was fun, seemed like it!
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by c_nordlander » Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:55 pm

Thank you for reading! Seems like you enjoyed it. It feels like it sometimes stuck a bit close to the original story, possibly making it a bit opaque.

As for your first question: if you're talking about Allisa imitating Lisa in the canteen, that was meant to be more of a good-natured teasing than anything truly malicious. (She doesn't say anything really mean until Lisa gets mad at her.)

As for your second question, your guess is right.
Spoiler
Are you really gonna take it like that?
Riding on the missile with a cowboy hat?

Oh, well the world is gonna end
So dance around the fire that we once believed in
Oh, wanna tear it down again, now
'Cause there's nothing left for us to bleed
Give it up, the sons of anarchy
So come around and have another round on me!

DANCE, F***ER, DANCE, LET THE MOTHERF***ER BURN!


-- The Offspring, "Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell"
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by gkscotty » Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:32 pm

Downloaded and on my list of read tomorrow!
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It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was Us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do bad things. - Jingo, Terry Pratchett
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by SirMustapha » Tue Mar 21, 2017 1:08 am

Add me to the "didn't read the original" ranks, so I can't make any judgement regarding what sticks to the original and what's altered. Anyways, I enjoyed this a lot. The script seems to balance between the creepy and the funny quite well, so that neither becomes overbearing (though I'm most likely biased in favour of comedy, since I like to think that all horror is either disguised or failed comedy). The greatest delight is how well you used the characters. You make it feel like this story couldn't possibly work with any other characters in their places.

I was thoroughly entertained, and I'm always glad to see you've still got what it takes to do funny, creative fanfic.
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by Archonix » Tue Mar 21, 2017 10:58 am

I don't have a catchphrase; I'm too nuanced.
That's the best impression of Lisa I've ever heard!
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by Nidotamer » Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:47 pm

c_nordlander wrote:Thank you for reading! Seems like you enjoyed it. It feels like it sometimes stuck a bit close to the original story, possibly making it a bit opaque.

As for your first question: if you're talking about Allisa imitating Lisa in the canteen, that was meant to be more of a good-natured teasing than anything truly malicious. (She doesn't say anything really mean until Lisa gets mad at her.)

As for your second question, your guess is right.
Spoiler
Ahh, I see! Did get a laugh or two out of their exchange. I figure that's entirely how they'd argue in canon too, with Allison constantly turning what Lisa's saying and essentially throwing it back in her face whereas some of the other girls would probably resort to more five-year-old tactics...
Spoiler
I think maybe if there's one little thing I found, it's possibly that Willie speaks a little too clearly. Well he's not exactly eloquent but perhaps it might seem a bit more Willie-ish if his dialogue was a bit more phonetic to match his usual manner of speaking. (like "Yer'll never" rather than "You will never") although thinking about it, Willie would be very hard to write for properly and he's pretty minor overall.

Sorry I had to make another post for this. I just forgot to go over some particular moments I really liked, mostly because I enjoy when those bits are pointed out to me, letting people know what was done well and all!
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"Harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest. Voldemort raised his eyebrows at Harry, who could not see anything at the moment."
---- Harry Potter and the Portrait of what Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by SirMustapha » Tue Mar 21, 2017 8:36 pm

I skimmed through the text to see the added lines, and can I say that only now I got "lingua felidicapta"?


(the book by Adolphe Sax is also a great touch)
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by c_nordlander » Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:51 pm

Glad the jokes were appreciated! I don't know whether Sax ever actually wrote a book about his musical innovations, but yeah, I enjoyed putting that in.

@May: heh, the fake-out at the party was a reference to a brain-breaking joke I heard from my dad.
Spoiler
Are you really gonna take it like that?
Riding on the missile with a cowboy hat?

Oh, well the world is gonna end
So dance around the fire that we once believed in
Oh, wanna tear it down again, now
'Cause there's nothing left for us to bleed
Give it up, the sons of anarchy
So come around and have another round on me!

DANCE, F***ER, DANCE, LET THE MOTHERF***ER BURN!


-- The Offspring, "Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell"
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by gkscotty » Fri Mar 24, 2017 4:43 pm

Late to the party but that was great! Funny and creepy and weird.
Image

It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was Us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do bad things. - Jingo, Terry Pratchett
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Re: OPINIONS: The Lisa Simpsons (Simpsons; THoH)

Post by missy_misery » Mon Mar 27, 2017 1:34 am

An excellent TOH take; as always you do horror-comedy right, Chris!

Everyone beat me to the big questions but this was such a delight, fun and SPOOKY, which we don't get a lot in TOH fics.
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