OPINIONS: Season Ticket Holder

Did you write something for the Simpsons, Futurama, original fiction or another fandom? Feel free to post it here!
Post Reply
User avatar
missy_misery
Sector Control Officer
Sector Control Officer
Posts: 2301
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 1:04 am

OPINIONS: Season Ticket Holder

Post by missy_misery » Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:51 pm

Written for my usual exchange with Chris for the winter season! I hope you like it Chris; it almost refused to properly work for me but I'm really proud of the ending.

Note: Lisa's 18, Bart's just under 20, and Maggie's a spunky but silent ten in this.

SUMMARY: Homer and Marge celebrate their twentieth anniversary. Their growing kids have no clue what to get them.
Attachments
Chrisfic2018.docx
(14.03 KiB) Downloaded 52 times
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
User avatar
c_nordlander
Insane Underling
Insane Underling
Posts: 11853
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2001 2:00 pm
Custom Title: Content Superspreader

Re: OPINIONS: Season Ticket Holder

Post by c_nordlander » Mon Dec 24, 2018 9:05 pm

Thank you for a Christmas fic! You have no idea how much I appreciate this tradition. (For the record, I'd be happy to do Christmas story exchanges with other people too, just ask!) Reading it now because this is the day we celebrate Christmas back in the old country.

Typoes and technical issues: "that her words had just." feels like you're ending in mid-sentence; you have extra spaces in the phrases "We’d get a good table", "and I had to pay" and "was all but why are you"; "resteraunt" should be "restaurant"; "maître d' " should have the apostrophe after the D; "honing in on" should be "horning in on"; "in keep going" should be "to keep going". Also, there is a final line that ends in mid-sentence and which I'm not sure belongs to this story (because it seems like it already has a proper ending before that).

I enjoyed this a lot. The plot is very simple, but the jokes and puns are top notch, and the whole thing has the feel of all the best flashforward episodes like "Lisa's Wedding". All the family members are in character. Bart's military demeanour is exactly how he would act. The reason for Maggie's silence is a great joke, but what I laughed at most was: "I had to pay four different people to look the other way while I paid off the waiter." Homer's response is great, too.

The emotional side is good as well. Marge's and Homer's love comes through without feeling soppy, and I like the gifts at the end.

In short, a nice little flashforward story with show-worthy characterisation and some really hilarious jokes. Very much recommended!
But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible
Put me to the test;
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest!


-- "You're Only Second Rate", The Return of Jafar
User avatar
missy_misery
Sector Control Officer
Sector Control Officer
Posts: 2301
Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 1:04 am

Re: OPINIONS: Season Ticket Holder

Post by missy_misery » Sun Mar 10, 2019 2:42 am

I love this tradition too (and gah, I thought my beta caught all of those!)

Will post a fixed-up version to AO3 soon!
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy.  Missy's good.)

Creator of the Waving Universe

Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc.  They got married and lived in a spaceship.  The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
Post Reply