Review- "The Opposite of Something"
Forum rules
Things to remember when posting:
Things to remember when posting:
- If you want a review please place REVIEW: at the start of the topic line
- There may be some time between you posting and people replying, as our members do their utmost to read through a fic before telling you want they think
- Reviews must be made with good grace and politeness. "It sucks" isn't a review.
- Finally, please try to stay on topic.
Review- "The Opposite of Something"
This is an episode that I wrote involving a "Seinfeld" parody.
It's my first attempt and I did it without script writing software, so let me apologize up front for the formatting.
Dana
It's my first attempt and I did it without script writing software, so let me apologize up front for the formatting.
Dana
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. --George Carlin
- gkscotty
- Chief Executive Officer
- Posts: 5987
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2005 9:45 pm
- Location: Scotland
- Contact:
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
A bit of a sudden ending, but otherwise extremely good. There are some genuinely funny LOL moments here...
LISA
Oh cheer up Dad, at least you'll leave
here knowing your money is going
to brighten some poor
unfortunates life.
HOMER
Yeah, but now, unfortunately I'm poor.
Very good. :-) I really enjoyed it, and hope to see more sometime.Oh cheer up Dad, at least you'll leave
here knowing your money is going
to brighten some poor
unfortunates life.
HOMER
Yeah, but now, unfortunately I'm poor.
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone’s fault. If it was Us, what did that make Me? After all, I’m one of Us. I must be. I’ve certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We’re always one of Us. It’s Them that do bad things. - Jingo, Terry Pratchett
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
I'm reading it at the moment. A bit busy with university, buut what I've seen so far is great.
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
— Piet Hein - Grooks
-
- Sub-sector Control Officer's Assistant
- Posts: 1328
- Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2001 3:22 pm
- Location: Barsbüttel, Germany
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
Not bad. Very good, in fact. Not exactly the best of plots, but it did have lots of great lines. The entire opening scene was a classic, and the "Get OUT!" scene had me ROTFL. I hope we'll see more stories from you soon.
What flows from me nose does not go on the clothes.
- c_nordlander
- Insane Underling
- Posts: 12836
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2001 2:00 pm
- Custom Title: Got a job to do and a husband to "make love to"
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
To repeat the tritest critique ever: this one should be on the show! Back in the good days, when they still did actual humour. I agree with the others here: hilarious (especially the church scenes and Homer's TV ranting), good metahumour, perhaps a bit abrupt in the end. I'm not much of a Seinfeld fan either, but I laughed at it anyway. This is one good fanscript.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
- aoifestorm
- Sub-sector Control Officer
- Posts: 1676
- Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2002 11:05 pm
- Location: NYC
- Contact:
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
This was a good script, Dana. It had a lot of funny gags and I liked the appearance of the Seinfeld crew.
I especially enjoyed the first act, with Monte Carlo Night at the church.
My favorite line.. Lovejoy: Oh please Lord, just once let me replace the pennance of prayer with the joy of a crucifixion. ;D
I got lots of laughs from this script. I hope we see new ones from you soon, Dana.
I especially enjoyed the first act, with Monte Carlo Night at the church.
My favorite line.. Lovejoy: Oh please Lord, just once let me replace the pennance of prayer with the joy of a crucifixion. ;D
I got lots of laughs from this script. I hope we see new ones from you soon, Dana.
Homer eats a little too much Chile to strong pepper and is found with hullicinations amongst other things it speaks with a dog.
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
Yeah I liked that line as well, alongside this:
"I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!" Love it!
"I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!" Love it!
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
— Piet Hein - Grooks
- Tony_Baritone
- Advisory Technical Manager
- Posts: 991
- Joined: Mon Jan 07, 2002 10:23 pm
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
A little padding from Seinfeld, but overall a very high hit-to-miss ratio regarding jokes. This really does hit everything: jokes, satire and characterization. The Seinfeld parody was very well done, Homer was fantastic, the Flanders segments were terrific. One of the best comedy scripts I've seen in a while.
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
Well I've pretty much finished reading it now. I cna't add much more than anyone else has said; characterisation is great, plot is great and it really could be worth of production if only they were willing to accept such things.
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
— Piet Hein - Grooks
- SirMustapha
- Junior Secretariat
- Posts: 4430
- Joined: Sun Aug 12, 2001 8:20 pm
- Location: South of South America
- Contact:
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
Fun! Fun! FUUUN!!!
Good work, Dana. You script is awesome: Highly recommendable. Thanks for making my day happier!
Good work, Dana. You script is awesome: Highly recommendable. Thanks for making my day happier!
"I know that the bourgeoisie stinks, but it has money to buy perfume."
-- Falcão
-- Falcão
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
Wow!
Thank you all for your kind words and helpful pointers.
I've really enjoyed getting this idea out of my head and into the computer. I've already started tinkering with the final act, adding a little more heart to this story because, frankly, Seinfeld might have left poor Neddy and his crying kids to just carry on, but not likely in a Simpsons episode...at least not one I'm writing!
I'll post the new changes and additions soon...that is as soon as my wife stops threatening to stab me in the heart with a pen if I don't get off that BLANKETY_BLANK COMPUTER!!
Thanks again everyone.
Dana
Thank you all for your kind words and helpful pointers.
I've really enjoyed getting this idea out of my head and into the computer. I've already started tinkering with the final act, adding a little more heart to this story because, frankly, Seinfeld might have left poor Neddy and his crying kids to just carry on, but not likely in a Simpsons episode...at least not one I'm writing!
I'll post the new changes and additions soon...that is as soon as my wife stops threatening to stab me in the heart with a pen if I don't get off that BLANKETY_BLANK COMPUTER!!
Thanks again everyone.
Dana
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. --George Carlin
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
Ahh, the life of the married man...
I wonder if Chris will threaten to stab me with a pen?
Anyway, yes, I think I can speak for everyone when I say keep on writing. Do you think we'll see more stories out of your brain at any time? If your'e not sure, we relatively painless have ways of extracting them... :naughty:
I wonder if Chris will threaten to stab me with a pen?
Anyway, yes, I think I can speak for everyone when I say keep on writing. Do you think we'll see more stories out of your brain at any time? If your'e not sure, we relatively painless have ways of extracting them... :naughty:
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
— Piet Hein - Grooks
— Piet Hein - Grooks
- c_nordlander
- Insane Underling
- Posts: 12836
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2001 2:00 pm
- Custom Title: Got a job to do and a husband to "make love to"
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
You may have to hide all the pens, Graham...
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Re: Review- "The Opposite of Something"
Great ending,
"Me work in TV?"
Made me laugh out loud; rang very true.
I loved the tightness of the script, from the Osbournes bracketing (couch / ending) to the Newmanesque Flanders greeting by Homer.
Only problem is the bulk of the visual animated humor seems to be in the casino scene -- after that it's mostly all dialogue. Funny as hell, yes, but this is Simpsons!
Great job nonetheless.
"Me work in TV?"
Made me laugh out loud; rang very true.
I loved the tightness of the script, from the Osbournes bracketing (couch / ending) to the Newmanesque Flanders greeting by Homer.
Only problem is the bulk of the visual animated humor seems to be in the casino scene -- after that it's mostly all dialogue. Funny as hell, yes, but this is Simpsons!
Great job nonetheless.