REVIEW - The Yellow Mile (Mature)

[jenny]

While my fairly good self was ensconsed (as usual) in front of the computer, very convincingly pretending to be working on Lisa Fitzgerald, Educating Lisa, or any of the other mistakes I've made in the past, I actually proceeded to produce this typically jolly little jaunt, impulsively named The Yellow Mile by Soren.

Okay, the ending is as about as satisfying as the conclusion to the 1999 European Cup final (look it up), but, in the words of both evil baddy Mr Severin, and plucky Louise Sandbourne, "it's just one of those things". Look out for more misguided, unintelligable rantings from yours truly in the new year!

PS: This fic contains a few naughty words, and some slightly adult themes - just thought it'd be fair to warn y'all. It's also come to my attention that I may have accidentally called Maggie Lisa at some points in the fic. Sorry, force of habit.

[archonix]

Brilliant!  Just brilliant... what an ending.  I'd say more but I don't want to spoil it for everyone else.  Obviously comments about characterisation are out of the window since it's ahrd to define Maggie's character, but she seems alright.

Of course, now you've done this I'm sure you won't mind working on that comedy a bit more..

[Sheana_Molloy]

I can't wait to read this!

[IDPStan]

Well I've read it and wow!! Who'd have though someone in a position of power was be a drug user/dealer.*watchs Wild Bill puff on a reefer*

Once again it's vengeance time as the forces of law and order fail to do the job only vigilante assassins can eliminate the bad guys. LOL Oh this is so damn cheesy.  ;D

Still It's well done and you only fudged the name twice, one when she was on the phone and once when she was looking at the floor in a conversation with you know who. I kinda liked it although I can't believe that guy trusted Maggie after what he'd done, didn't he realise that she'd turn on him at the first opportunity?*smiles wryly at the ending*

Overall I'm undecided I don't hate it but I don't like it much either. :-/

[Kwyjibo]

Well, I liked this a lot. Especially the title.
Seriously, this is a good story. It's well-written, except for a few typos, and has a surprising ending.
And how could I not love a story with a bad guy named after me?

If I have to say anything bad about it... Well, Jenny, it's a bit rushed.
That said, I still give this top grade...

[Hera_Potter]

There's too much swearing. I stopped reading when Maggie swore at Bart in capital letters.

[jenny]

Well, I did warn ya.

[archonix]

Jenny, I hope you don't mind, I've altered the title of the thread just a little bit.

[IDPStan]

Ok so you didn't like the swearing...probably just as well you never got to the DRUGS bit then...

[jenny]

Wow, I've written the first ever non-pornographic adult Simpsons fic - what an honour.

[c_nordlander]

Hooray! But... what about "The Destiny of a Homer"? That one had extramarital affairs and an auto-lobotomy in it. That's pretty adult in my book.

[archonix]

Not adult, just mature.  Unlike me.

[Marco]

Waah, the board is up! I already told Jenny what i thought of it, but here's the juice.

I was greatly and positively impressed by the parts were Maggie was described in prison waiting for the... "end". Jenny did an impressive work on those. Very emotional.

The start of the fic with the first flashback sets well the plot as well as the charachterization of the siblings.
After Maggie moves to the Big City, begins the not so good parts. I don't like Maggies charachterization, it's too stereotypized... but this could be a personal preference.
The ending didn't quite work for me. The main bad guy being fooled like this... nah.
But i appreciate the intention to do a happy ending after all.
The swearing an the "situations" were a part of the story and of the ambientation, and were not abused.
All in all Jenny did a great job on this too. I'd say a 7/8 out of 10.

Now, when will you entertain us with something *really* Simpsonic? Come on, i know you're a winner in that genre too

[Kwyjibo]

Yeah, get working on EL!

[Karsten_Thiel]

Could you please post the story again? I didn't get the chance to read it before the board crashed.