EXT. Street - Night
Camera Man's POV:
Eddie and Lou are chasing behind Chief Wiggum, who's pursuing Snake jailbird on foot. Snake starts to climb a fence but gets electrocuted and falls to the ground, smoldering and moaning in pain. Wiggum looks at the camera.
(Out of breath) Okay, we've caught up with the perpetrator. Now...
Eh, he's still armed. Better hand me the Taser, Lou.
Camera Man's POV:
Chief Wiggum and Lou are in the front seats; Eddie is sitting on the far left with Snake between him and the camera man.
Now before we take him down to the Police Department, we're gonna retrieve the stolen property from his hideaway, since he was nice enough to tell us where it is.
Lou
I don't know chief, seems like some kind of trap.
Chief Wiggum
Aw jeez Lou, can't you just trust somebody for once? Maybe if you did, your wife wouldn't have left you.
Y-yeah...
Camera Man's POV:
Wiggum unlocks the door and steps in. He turns on the light to reveal a completely bare room, except that there's an orangutan lying on the bed. Wiggum's mouth hangs open.
CLICK
The camera turns around and Snake is standing in front of the locked door; he points at Chief Wiggum.
Haha, Sick him JoJo.
The Orangutan, now heavily sedated, is strapped to the roof of the car.
Camera Man's POV:
I may have gotten scratched up pretty bad. In fact, part of my brain is exposed under this hat (pointing), but I'm proud to say that this orangutan in going to be released back into the wild.
Reveal:
INT. Simpson Home - DAY
Homer is standing in front of the TV with his arms in the air.
Omigod, oh my GOD!
What? What is it?
HOMER
(Pointing at the TV)
Police auction, amazing deals, CHEAP PRE-OWNED MONKEY FOR SALE!
Lisa
Dad, it's wrong keep an animal like that in captivity.
Besides, an orangutan is part of the great ape family. Monkeys have tails.
Used monkey, people! Come on. Move it or lose it.
EXT. Driveway - CONTINUOUS
I'm worried dad. Remember the last time you shopped at a police auction? You bought that same guy's car and he tried to kill you.
Homer
Come on boy. A car is one thing, but this is a monkey. Who's gonna care that much about a monkey?
Bart
You seemed pretty exited about it.
Homer
That's because I appreciate the little-- Ooh, there's a penny on the ground!
Bart
It's not even on heads.
Homer
Who says that matters?
(Looks down)
Oh my God, another penny!
EXT. Police Department - Later
An older man stands at the podium with a gavel.
...And the primate goes to the portly gentleman with whiskey on his breath.
Barney
Alright, I sure am glad I fell off the wagon again or I never would have thought this was a good idea...
Homer
D'oh! Lousy Barney, stealin' my monkey...
Lisa
Again, I'd like to point out that Orangutans are apes, not monk--
Random Crowd Member
Nobody cares!
Lisa
(deflated, sighs)
I know, but I keep trying...
Auctioneer
The last item up for bid is this outdated prison cafeteria deep fryer, used by a sociopath in a mask to splash hot oil on a fellow inmates face. Barely used, do I hear fifty dollars?
HOMER
(raising his paddle)
Fifty one dollars!
Is that all then? Well, going once, going twice, sold for fifty one dollars to the balding man in blue pants!
Homer
Woohoo!
Barney is leading the orangutan to his car (the Plow King) holding its hand.
Now you get into the passenger seat and I can use the carpool lane to get to MOE'S faster.