Cooking!

[Terry Y]

This is a simple and cheap snack to make.  Credit to Food Network yet again, but dangit, they know their stuff.

You will need:

Two slices of sandwich bread (I prefer wheat, but white is okay. Sourdough would be optimal)
One ripe avocado
One can of sardines or anchovies (trust me on this)
Olive oil
Salt and pepper

Brush the bread with a bit of olive oil and season with salt and pepper.  Put the bread under the broiler of your oven (or in a toaster oven, if like me, that's all you've got).  Keep a sharp eye on it so it doesn't burn.  Cut the avocado in half and remove the pit.  Mash up the avocado inside the skin with a fork.  Remove the bread from the toaster oven and spread the avocado on it.  Top with the sardines or anchovies and mash the topping together with your fork.  Place back in the toaster oven just long enough to heat through.  Season with more salt and pepper to taste.  It's better than it looks or sounds.  And hey Mom, it's nutritious, too!

[c_nordlander]

That sounds absolutely delicious.

[D.B.]

My response was "That sounds so awful it's got to be good!" So we differ on the logic, but arrive at the same conclusion. 

[archonix]

Not cooking as such.

Recently cocktails have come to the fore. Just tried out something a little experimental, based on an idea Beb showed once. I don't think I've got the quantities quite right but it tastes nice. I may drop the vermouth though, it doesn't seem quite thematic; schnapps of some description might work instead.

1 part vermouth
2 parts vodka
1/4 part lingonberry cordial
Some juice of a lime

[Gulliver63]

Besides making some strange cartoons, I have this year made chicken parmesan with freshly cut garlic (a simple about.com recipe) and a london broil. My late father, a hell of a cook himself, would have been proud. I also like making a Rhode Island drink with ginger beer and spiced rum on the rocks, which I forget the name of right now. But aren't there any Futurama recipes out there? Maybe some Bender specialties?

[AssistantCrone]

Legendary Hamfish


You will need:

• : Oven and roasting tray.

• : Fish (I tend to use haddock or something firm, in largeish pieces, frozen or unfrozen).

• : Ham of some sort. I've used prosciutto/parma ham and smoked bacon (cheaper). I think the important thing is that it's smoked or otherwise very tasty.

• : Optional: lemon juice or any lemony-type herbs you might own.

You will do:

• : Splash the fish pieces with the lemon juice, if you have it. Herbs can go on it too now.

• : Wrap the pieces of fish in the ham. Most of the fish should be covered, but it's not like you're creating an airtight ham seal or anything.

• : Place hamfish into the oven on a tray. Oven should be on 'pretty hot'. I allow about half an hour for frozen fish, less time for unfrozen. It usually works out so that the fish is cooked and the ham is not charred: quite an achievement.

• : Eat hamfish.

Bonus round:

• : If you add other roastables to the same tray (with a bit of oil), they will take on the flavour of the ham. If you're doing potatoes, boil them first and shake them a bit so they crack up and absorb more ham oil.

Ginger Beer Ice Cream Float Drink Bomb


You will need:

• : Ginger beer (not ginger ale).

• : Vanilla ice cream (coconut ice cream would be great, but I've never seen it for sale).

• : A lime/lime juice.

• : A jar of crystallised ginger in syrup.

You will do:

• : Fill a glass 2/3 with ginger beer.
  
  : Add the lime juice (at least half a lime per. person).
  
  : Add a large scoop of ice cream.
  
  : Hold the glass over the sink.
  
  : Are you holding the glass over the sink? Good.
  
  : Pour a bit of the ginger syrup from the jar over the ice cream ball. Wait a few seconds 'til it stops exploding.
  
  : Serve with a spoon and a straw/develop a butterfly proboscis.

[archonix]

Wikipedia Martinez

So-called because it's based on the Martinez recipe on Wikipedia's page about Vermouth, and is apparently very different to the Martinez everyone else drinks.

It's not perfect, I'm guessing amounts because I initially used too much bitters and it tasted a bit bitter.

1 part sweet vermouth
2 parts gin
1/2 part a mere splash of campari
1/4 part golden syrup or other sugar syrup

Shake with ice

Pour

Drink

Surprisingly tasty for something with that medicinal pink hue.

[archonix]

More cocktails

First the classic Manhattan

1 part Sweet Vermouth
2 or 3 parts american rye whiskey (it's a taste thing)
a dash of bitters

Shake with ice. Serve in a classic cocktail glass with a maraschino cherry onna stick.

Pink Thing

May already exist, but until I hear otherwise this one's mine!

1 part white rum (bacardi for preference)
1 tsp golden syrup
NO MORE THAN 1/4 part campari bitters.
1/2 part lime juice

Stir the rum, lime, syrup and campari in a mixing glass. If you add too much campari just offset it with a little more syrup. Fill a highball glass with ice cubes and toss some raisins on top, making sure some of them fall further down the ice in the glass. Pour the mix over the ice and serve with a straw and a little fancy umbrella. Ideally it should taste something like a grapefruit or a bitter orange.

[AssistantCrone]

Yet more cocktails!


Moscow Mule
One of my favourites: a perfect balance between easy and awesome.

• : Vodka (as much as you like; can be left out entirely)
  : Lime juice (about half a lime per. drink, more wouldn't hurt)
  : Ginger beer (not ginger ale)

Put vodka in a glass with ice, add lime, top up with ginger beer.


Sea Breeze
I'm not fond of grapefruit or cranberry juice on its own, but mix the two together and they become some wonderful superjuice. Then put in some alcohol.

• : Vodka (loads, a bit or none; I haven't finished my cocktail snob training yet).
  : Grapefruit juice
  : Cranberry juice

Put vodka in a glass and top up with half grapefruit, half cranberry. There should probably be some ice at some point too.
Tip: Got any blue Curacao? Throw in half a measure or so and it'll turn your sea breeze sea-coloured.


Blue Hottie
A variation on the White Lady made when I ran out of that Cointreau I found under the stairs. Blue Curacao tastes slightly less orangey, I've heard, but it's blue so what the hell. Name courtesy of Graham.

• : 1 measure gin
  : 1/2 measure lemon juice (tip: use slightly less if it's a real lemon, or the whole thing will just taste of lemon).
  : 1/2 measure blue Curacao

Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. Decorate with a cocktail cherry/cram in as many cocktail cherries as you can get away with.


Elderflower Martini
I'd recommend being a bit generous with the gin to stop it all getting too sweet or lemony, but this one is excellent.

• : 1 measure elderflower cordial
  : 1 measure gin
  : 1 measure dry vermouth
  : 1/2 measure lime juice (lemon juice is also good)

Shake ingredients with ice and strain into a cocktail glass. If you haven't eaten all the cherries yet, they can go in this one too. In fact, cherries can go in every drink on this list, or you can just add alcohol to the jar. (I've never done that. Seriously).

[Terry Y]

Ah, cocktails! Here's one of my all-time favorites. If memory serves, it was inspired by Ernest Hemmingway.

Brave Bull

You will need:
2 oz. Kahlua
1oz. Tequila (I prefer Añejo to the silver varieties, but that's just me)
Ice
Shaker
Rocks glass

Fill the glass and shaker with ice. Add the liquor and shake together. Strain over ice and garnish with lime wedge. Enjoy.

[D.B.]

So, tonight I finally made a half decent budget spag bol. Yes yes, everybody laugh at me for taking most of a year. But this was good enough that I think I could have invited people round for dinner and served it and not had to apologise. And it cost less than £1.

Lessons:

• Cheap frozen mince is really fatty. Really really fatty. Fry it up on its own before doing anything else and drain off the oil that comes out.
• Add the garlic quite late. Too early and it just burns into crispy nothingness by the time the meat is done.
• Canned tomatoes also contain a lot of fluid. Best to add them at the end, heat it all through, then scoop the meat and veg out with a suitably holed instrument, leaving the water behind.

Do all that right and it ends up pretty passable. I'm pleased with myself

[archonix]

Cooking with Alcohol: An Experiment

So yesterday I was in the process of making Chris a birthday meal. Steak. It was going to be wonderful... until I realised I was missing a few ingredients. No cream, no potatoes (for the roasted sliced things what I do). And it was very cold and wet outside. I thought about it for a moment and came to a solution.

Balsamic Baileys Beef

Various chopped vegetables are required for this, so go do that first, and be sure to chop then quite finely as they're effectively forming part of a sauce. I used reg and green bell peppers, spring onions, baby sweetcorn and mushrooms. Now take two largish sirloin steaks and sear them in a pan until they're nicely sealed. Chop them into slices and put them to one side. Now proceed as if you're making a nice sauce for your steak, searing out the itty bitty lumps and burnt crispy bits with some brandy in the pan. Here's where things get interesting. Normally you'd toss some cream and seasoning in at this point to make a sauce, but lacking cream I went for the liquer cabinet (as you do) and then when I realised the Baileys was in the fridge, I went there instead. A quick glug in the pan starts off the sauce, stir it around a bit and add some pepper or salt to taste. Toss in the vegetables and cook them in the sauce, then throw the sliced steak back in and carry on cooking. Add more of the balsamic vinegar, a little worcestershire sauce, a tiny bit of soy for flavour and then let it simmer for a couple of minutes. Done!

I served it with noodles, but it would probably be better with rice or roasted potato shreds of some description.

[AssistantCrone]

Another cocktail, hot this time. I bought some apricot brandy for a cocktail that turned out to be quite mediciney, but it was useful for this hopefully-freshly-reinvented hot toddy.

Apricot Toddy

Ingredients:

: Apricot brandy (or anything sweetish, I suppose)
: Lemon juice
: Boiling water
: Root/stem ginger

Put a big slice of root ginger into a mug and add a good slug of brandy and lemon juice to taste. Top up with hot water.

[archonix]

I'm just going to link to this one as it would be too much hassle to copy-pasta it.

Grilled Salmon in White Wine Cream Sauce.

[archonix]

The following is an attempt to recreate a tasty dessert I saw in a dream a few times, which I have often craved, and which I have named...

Golden Honey Pikelet Cake Thing From A Dream

... or thereabouts. The basic idea is that it's like a cross between a pancake, a crumpet and a jar of honey.

Makes two large flat tasty things.

Ingredients

• 150 g of flour
• 1 large egg
• half a pint of milk
• approximately 40 to 50 g of butter
• a pinch of salt
• 2tsp vanilla extract
• 2tsp bicarbonate of soda
• honey, and lots of it!

To start with, throw the flour and butter into a bowl and begin mashing them together until you get a nice, slightly doughy crumbly sort of affair. This is so the butter will actually mix with the mix. Now add the egg and a little milk and begin whisking. When you start to get a smooth mixture add more of the milk and keep going. Add the bicarb, vanilla and a pinch of salt. When everything is well mixed leave to settle for a little while. The mix may start to thicken by itself at this point, which is fine as that adds to the texture.

To make your pikelet cake thing, heat some oil in a non-stick frying pan. When the oil is nice and hot, spread it around and then pour in about half the mix, starting with a circle around the edge and the filling in the middle. This gives you a good solid edge to work with. Now you just have to watch and wait. Towards the end, as lots of holes start appearing in the top and things start to go solid, pour as much honey on as as you think you need, turn down the heat a fraction and let it soak in. Don't worry if you start to see a little smoke, this is normal. Now flip the cake over (use a spatula, don't try and pan flip it because you'll just make a mess) for somewhere around 10 seconds, then flip it back. The honey should have slightly caramelised on the surface and sealed a lot of itself inside the holes, rather like a honeycomb. It's now ready. You can eat it fresh, or keep it for later.