A story I'd quite like some feedback on.
Nothing science-fictional or fantastic about this one: it's very much slice-of-life. (It is in fact rather similar to my previous story "Innocence, a Novel", if you've read it.) Don't expect any dramatic twists. A bit of an experiment with how minimalist you can make your plot while still writing a proper story.
Criticise away! Be as ruthless as you like, even if it's just minor things like grammar or sentence structure. It's extremely short (less than a page!), so it's not a massive commitment. I'm intending to send this to a competition for stories of <1,000 words, but if you think that I should scrap this and send something more dramatic, feel free to say so too.
Can be read here.
STORY: Growing Up
- c_nordlander
- Insane Underling
- Posts: 12836
- Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2001 2:00 pm
- Custom Title: Got a job to do and a husband to "make love to"
STORY: Growing Up
Last edited by c_nordlander on Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:30 am, edited 2 times in total.
Pretty little baby
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
Pretty little monster
Went to the good school
Left with honours
Brand new tycoon
Sitting with a harpoon
-- Mother Mother, "Business Man"
Now offering writing commissions! Fanfiction or original, PM me for more information.
- missy_misery
- Sector Control Officer
- Posts: 2461
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Re: STORY: Growing Up
As always, Chris, you write flawlessly <3
Now known as Lisabella! (Or Missy. Missy's good.)
Creator of the Waving Universe
Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
Creator of the Waving Universe
Crack!Fic, The Marge Simpson Way: "Just then, Sir Lancelot rode up on a white horse and saved Joan of Arc. They got married and lived in a spaceship. The end." - Tales from the Public Domain, "Hot Child In The City"
- Terry Y
- Senior Executive
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Re: STORY: Growing Up
Downloadeded! Review to follow.
"I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food." - Julia Child