Bring me your drabbles!

[Nidotamer]

Welp it's not like this thread hasn't had posts for long stretches of time before. I, uh, may as well add this one I just did. It's an OFF one.

--
Twelve o' clock, lunch break. Terri hastily hopped down the steps of Springfield high school, avoiding eye contact with anyone else. Even at the age of fourteen she didn't have anyone she would call a friend. She quietly ducked behind the nearest corner and fished out a pink cell phone from her coat pocket.

After finding Sherri's name in the contacts list and calling, was only a matter of seconds before she got a response. It wasn't really the same as having Sherri beside her but just hearing her slightly squeaky voice was enough to put Terri's mind at ease.
--

I tried.
*performs the "Rimmer salute", faints*

[SirMustapha]

It's always good to see new drabbles around here, and yours is a great addition. It just seems to nail down exactly what a drabble is all about--at least in my view.

[c_nordlander]

It's very good! Depicts a situation I can relate to, and manages to be very descriptive despite the low word-count.

[Nidotamer]

Glad about the feedback. 'Spose there's not really enough to review given that it's only a hundred words (and according to openoffice, it's exactly that)

That said, if I ended up doing some writings that weren't really drabble-length short but not really long enough to properly count as a fic... I'd be better off making a seperate thread for stuff like that wouldn't I? Kinda feel doing these very short things is good for practice and all.

[Tony_Baritone]

I liked it too; very descriptive and fits their characterization we've seen on the show.

[missy_misery]

It worked nicely! Good work!

[c_nordlander]

So, a little horror story to end the year! Might be unsettling.

The Boon
Today he made me grow a new finger. It looked normal, like it were cloned from another.
“It means it won't be as easy for you to go outside,” he said with a glitter of a smile, as if he were helping out.
He doesn't usually add things to my body. My mind is different.
I still leave the house to go to university. He is okay with it. When I come home, we sit in the light from the fireplace, in the easy-chairs he has turned so that he can see as he works on me.

THE END

[SirMustapha]

Boy, that was chilling. Leaves so many spaces open, it's uncomfortable to think about it.

[c_nordlander]

A fantasy story. Very post-modern, but it felt good enough to post here.

I got the idea while reading Mary Gentle's short story collection Cartomancy, which probably inspired it (not the plot so much as the style).

Westward!
There are two stories here. One is about the utopia that turns out to be a slaughterhouse, the shining wires, Soylent Green.
Telperion pulled his head back from the quay so fast his cat-brindled hair flew. He ran to the marble-bright square, though dizziness made his vision falter.
“They are killing you! There is no West! They drill the ships' hulls and they sink when they pass the horizon!”
The citizens looked at him, apathetic as in a nightmare.
“We know,” a Councillor said.
There are two stories. The other is about the Elves sailing westward, and what they seek.

THE END

[missy_misery]

Oooh, this is really pretty!

[c_nordlander]

Another autobiographically based one.

The Betrayal
In third grade I discovered the woods and fields around the apartment terraces. I wandered further every day, climbing or just discovering new spaces. Mum said that I came home with my hair smelling of sun.
In the field was a coppice, the only remains of a forest. Deep shafts of shade between the sun-glittering aspens. A cairn of boulders. I stalked closer and looked into the space between the rocks.
A snake waved its neck in the depth of the shade. It was silver-grey, a viper. Its tongue darted in and out like another snake.
I never went back.

THE END

[SirMustapha]

That was extremely beautiful and heartbreaking. I particularly love the line about the hair smelling like sun. Just wonderful.

[c_nordlander]

Heh, thanks a lot!

That bit was actually based on something my mum said. I take no credit for it.

[SirMustapha]

Well, praises for your mum and her sense of poetry.

This one actually looks like a scene from a sitcom.

---

Maybe it will happen today, you never know.
That lady seems to be looking at me. I might be wrong. I check; she’s definitely looking at me. I look back, she smiles. Too good to be true. For fuck’s sake, stop being so cynical. Luck may be finally shining upon me. Her smile is beautiful, a pleasant sight. Do I look good enough? How could I tell. Yes, she’s still looking, smiling.
Her gaze shifts away, her smile widens. Another man approaches her and they greet, kisses on the cheeks, good friends. He sits down, I no longer exist.
Typical.

[c_nordlander]

Heh! Maybe not extremely memorable, but has the ring of truth. And the no-frills writing style works really well.