The Jewelry Box Grandma Couldn't See

[hadisia]

Just some original work of mine, inspired by "House on Mango Street." It seems like it should be angsty, but it isn't. I think.
Extremely short. And stream-of-consciousness-y, maybe. Um...

[JM]

Hay. Neato Eckle.
You could base so many compositions off that that it's almost insane!

Seriously though - I hope you go somewhere with this 'cause it's looking real deep and full of potential. Heck, the way it is right now would be a great thing to write first in a newspaper article or somebody's autobiography.

[hadisia]

Thanks. I just felt like being artsy. I'm actually more apt to writing comedy now...a big step from my angstangstangst writin' days of junior high.

[c_nordlander]

Very short indeed, but quite well-written. I always admire very short, gem-like work (appropriate here), and people who can use the second person without sounding either pretentious or like utter idiots.

Not angsty, really, just very quietly sad. You have talent, if I'm any judge.

[hadisia]

I know it's not angsty...it just feels like it's about to burst into an angstfic as any time...
Well, I say angstfic. It's not really a fic, it's a true story. Angstnonfic?
Whee, thanks! [Stores compliment into jewelry box]

[toby1]

I liked that very much and found it particularly intriguing and graphic.

Does the jewelry box represent a) You, b) Your Grandmother, c) The link between you and your grandmother or d) all of these. The imagery seems to work really well on all of these levels.

Your grandmother passes on and the jewelry box colour dissolves in the rain ("dissolves" not being the most precise word). a) Your feelings blending and changing after her death- becoming dulled at all? (I won't say "dissolving" into depression because I'm sure the sight of her pale, skinny and on tubes wouldn't have been ever uplifting but there seems to be a particular link between depression and beauty), b) the image/memory of her becoming more vague in your mind (or even her soul blending and "merging with the infinite"- NB I don't have any specific religious beliefs but I've been reading a bit of Joseph Campbell lately and he portrays a vivid image of souls merging with a greater energy in the afterlife) c) the "dissolving" of your link with her.

None-the-less, you say the final image of the box is even more beautiful than before which suggests that something more beautiful lies beyond life- or that it's helped your own self grow and become more beautiful. This is countered by the, almost abrupt, statement that your grandmother can no longer see the box- either ironic in some way or definite that she no longer exists in any form.

Geez- You only wrote one paragraph and I feel like I could go on like this for hours. I'll stop now.

[c_nordlander]

Now *that* is what I'd like to call a review!

[hadisia]

Um...wow. Thanks. I wish I could say that I'm that symbolic, but...actually, it all happened. The rain, the colours, the roses and everything else. Maybe I'll take a picture and post it.
Your knowledge of symbolism is truly awesome. You remind me of someone I know...