I'm down

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Sine Wave
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I'm down

Post by Sine Wave » Wed Nov 07, 2007 3:34 pm

I mean the worst I can do is not win, right?
Sine Wave
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Re: I'm down

Post by Sine Wave » Fri Nov 23, 2007 6:23 am

Alright, I finished it!

Title: Biogenesis

Using:
-[char] suffers from a mysterious disease
-Someone gets….. AMNESIA
-A battle over a lava pit
-Zoidberg dies! Or not…
-Everything turns out great


Word Count: 2997
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Last edited by Sine Wave on Fri Nov 23, 2007 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Archonix
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Re: I'm down

Post by Archonix » Sun Nov 25, 2007 10:56 am

;D
Our choicest plans have fallen through, our airiest castles tumbled over, because of lines we neatly drew and later neatly stumbled over.
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c_nordlander
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Re: I'm down

Post by c_nordlander » Sat Dec 01, 2007 9:20 pm

Very enjoyable, with many a hilarious line and a good set-up. I particularly like how you brought in Chaz* (I watched "The Why of Fry" only a few days ago). Overall, very neat. Love the ending too.

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No gold or silver, coal's the only thing of worth to me
The only precious metal to our name would be the mercury.


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JustNibblin
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Re: I'm down

Post by JustNibblin » Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:46 pm

Good Luck, dude!  You definitely hold your own in what looks like a good contest!
Kim
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Re: I'm down

Post by Kim » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:55 pm

Ok, I signed up here just to come praise you some more. (km from PEEL, dontcha know). I couldn't resist.  :P  Meanwhile, this story still rocks. I've already said how much I love your writing style so I don't think I'll say it any more. But you have characterization down spot-on.

Good luck with your classes!

Did I mention I love your style?

Now I'm off to comment some more on your other story.
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missy_misery
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Re: I'm down

Post by missy_misery » Sun Dec 16, 2007 4:50 am

Fun stuff overall!  Zoidberg was particularly awesome.
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Re: I'm down

Post by Terry Y » Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:15 pm

Not bad!  Not bad at all!  A bit of a stretch, a computer virus infecting humans (and other lifeforms), but hey, it's Futurama after all and you handled the concept very well!  Everyone was perfectly in character.  Ended kind of abruptly and it seemed to have one too many of the topics squozen into the word limits. Also, you might want to come up with a catchall term for the thing on Leela's wrist other than...well, "The Thing on Leela's Wrist."  But overall, a very good a very fun story!
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Kif White
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Re: I'm down

Post by Kif White » Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:02 am

Very good. I can't really think of much else to say that the other reviewers haven't already. Neat Futurama-ey plot mixed with a little horror, and a good dose of laughs. I'm particuarly happy to see you not only brought back Chaz, but had him doing his job rather than just talking about it (even if he did do the latter a lot more ;)). A very solid entry, I must say, will a little bit of everything.
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Kim
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Re: I'm down

Post by Kim » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:49 am

Lord Kingsley wrote: Ended kind of abruptly and it seemed to have one too many of the topics squozen into the word limits.
Just popping in again. I didn't think this story had one too many of the topic choices "squozen" into it--on the contrary, in my opinion you compressed a lot of detail into there without having it seem overcrowded. As for the abrupt ending, well, we've sort of discussed that, but what I would say is that if you do change anything, don't touch the actual final line; that works perfectly. Only add more detail just prior to that, if you do anything.

On another note, I'd stress again that your understated simplicity in depicting Leela is definitely a thing to be valued. So many writers seem to have a problem in portraying her.

Finally, slightly off-topic in this thread, but I realized that when you eliminated the Irish characters in your other fic, you also took out that line about the Zeno's Paradox playsets that I liked.  :( Aw. Just an observation.
(Not like you don't pack in enough humorous references already).
Sine Wave
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Re: I'm down

Post by Sine Wave » Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:48 am

Well, I did feel crammed for space writing it, which in retrospect was due to the Scary Door intro mostly. Non-sequiturs aren't really great for length-limited pieces, but I came up with it and didn't know where else I could use it. Relatedly, Kim, few of my jokes ever go to waste, so the Zeno's playsets will most likely turn up again sometime.
JustNibblin
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Re: I'm down

Post by JustNibblin » Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:02 pm

Yeah, I liked Zeno's playsets too...
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