FIC: The Ash Storm, The Blernsball Game, And Other Things

[missy_misery]

Summary: Fry and Leela go out on their first date.  It's not everything Leela could have hoped for, but she might just be having a great time.

This is a hopelessly light, fluffy little piece of fic, attempted because I wanted to examine Fry/Leela from a different angle.  Enjoy!(?)

[c_nordlander]

First, a note: I accidentally closed the window after writing my review the first time, so this won't be very long, but all the important points are there.

I like the title!

The only problem I had in this fic is tense changes: in the first scene, you seem to shift between present and past tense a lot. Better just choose one.

Plenty of low-key but lovely descriptions here: I like the recurring scene of Fry putting his arm around Leela, and "it was too soon to invite him in, and too early for him to go home". Your writing is great as always, and everything is there that should be there.

Leela and Fry are in character, and Fry feels very sweet. In fact, the fic made me emote a bit.

Well, I don't know anything about writing romance, so I have no idea as to whether this could be improved. It's a very good piece. I'm especially happy to read a Fry/Leela romance that 1) has actual future elements from the show (blernsball [with bagpipe playing contest!] and buggaloo) instead of being set in modern-day New York with a facelift, and 2) acknowledges that Leela isn't some kind of disgusting Mary-Sue who would never eat anything roasted and sloppy.

Again, very good job, and highly recommended. As far as I can tell, once you fix the tense problem, it's pretty much finalised.

[missy_misery]

Oh Pleah, tense change issues again :/  .  I'll fix everything to past tense in the final draft.

Thanks so much for the review, Chris - it's always fun to poke about the typical Fry/Leela fic tropes, and I had fun witht his one